|
yes there really is 200, and yes, i do almost every single one.
1) There is no longer any such thing as Vanilla Wafers. They are now known as ‘Lembas bread’.
2) Your friends, even the ones obsessed with LotR, will not speak with you about anything that you could possibly relate to LotR, which is almost anything.
3) You think that Elvish ought to be an official language, and that it should be taught in schools.
4) You eat all your meals "hobbit style," including second breakfast, afternoon tea, elevensies, and everything else.
5) You love mushrooms.
6) You like nice crispy bacon and taters.
7) You are in awe of short people with hairy feet and extra-curly hair because you believe them to be hobbits, and you tell them so every chance you get.
8) You've seen the movies so many times that you've lost track of the count.
9) You've read the books so many times that they're falling apart; you have to keep buying new copies.
10) You know when all the actors' and actresses' birthdays are, and you send them a card on their birthday every year.
11) You have LotR jewlery, swords, stand-ups, posters, anything related.
12) Your wall is pasted with LotR posters, pictures, and magazine/newspaper articles.
13) You think that the dates that the movies came out should be considered international holidays.
14) You have a pony named Bill.
15) Your horse is named Asfaloth.
16) You can quote the movies exactly without any mistakes.
17) You can quote the movies exactly without any mistakes, with sound effects and character voices.
18) You have all three versions of the movie on VHS, all three on DVD, and all of the extended editions as well.
19) You are part of the LotR Fan Club.
20) You spend your free time browsing the internet for LotR sites, joining forums, creating fan art, and anything else you think would be fun.
21) You quote LotR frequently.
22) You doodle LotR characters when school bores you.
23) You often daydream about LotR.
24) You have had several dreams LotR-related.
25) You know what race from LotR you would be if you had the chance, and you know exactly what you would look like.
26) You hiss like Gollum every time someone insults your Precioussss LotR.
27) You want to get/have pointed ears.
28) You have a sign on your bedroom door that reads: "speak friend and enter."
29) You have a LotR nickname.
30) You call all your friends "mellyn nin."
31) You cry every time you watch/read the Mines of Moria scene in FotR.
32) You’re known at the local cinema as, “The Two Towers Kid”.
33) Your email address/screen name has something to do with LOTR
34) your email address/screen name is something along the lines of “Lady Greenleaf” or “Master Baggins”.
35) You name your pets after someone or something from LOTR.
36) You forget what color your walls actually are because they have so much LOTR paraphernalia on them that you haven’t seen them since the Dark Times.
37) Your bedroom door is decorated to look like the Door of Moria.
38) People must “Speak Friend” to enter
39) Your birthday party has a Lord of the Rings theme, and no one is allowed in unless they have a proper costume on.
40) For a party, you put up a sign at the bottom of your driveway that says, “No admittance except on party business”.
41) You pose next to your life size stand-ups so you can show the pictures to your friends, claiming to have met the cast members.
42) You begin to refer to a few select items (or just as likely...one particular one) as “My Precioussss”
43) You make a rule: You can live (at most) 3 weeks without food, 3 days without water, 3 hours without LOTR, and 3 minutes without oxygen.
44) You insist on going to Wal-Mart at midnight every time a version of LOTR becomes available on VHS and DVD because you want it the INSTANT it’s available. (Count this one twice if you get it on both VHS and DVD).
45) You insist that everyone be kind to the trees in your yard because they may actually just be Ents gone tree-ish. (Huorns).
46) You celebrate the birthdays of both the characters and the actors from LOTR.
47) You invent your own holiday that is to be spent doing nothing that does not involve LOTR.
48) You can remember exactly how many times you’ve seen each LOTR movie right off the top of your head (unless it is too many to remember!).
49) You refuse to ever in your life watch any movies that won the award in a category that LOTR was nominated.
50) Majority of the signatures in your yearbook comment on how obsessed you are because it is the thing that everyone knows you best for.
51) You insist that Haldir is not really dead… He just went to Valinor after he hacked the Orc to bits.
53) You will rent ANY movie involving a Lord of the Rings actor, no matter how stupid it may be. *cough* National Treasure *cough* Pirates of the Caribbean *cough*
54) You make a countdown to the first Hobbit movie for your classroom involving a ‘fact of the day’ each day.
55) You can come up with these facts off the top of your head in half an hour
56) You insist that the ability to quote all three movies word for word is not an issue of mental health.
57) On Halloween you and your friends dress up as hobbits and parade around your neighborhood singing the Hobbit Drinking song.
58) You have more LOTR action figures than you can count.
59) You actually PLAY with your action figures.
60) You film movies with them, insisting that some day Peter Jackson will see them and declare you a great filmmaker.
61) Aside from actual LOTR merchandise, you spend most of your money on tape/Blu-Tac to hold up all of your posters/trading cards/pictures/etc.
62) Whether or not reading is one of your favorite pastimes, you insist on owning every LOTR bookmark known to man.
63) You have a framed 8 X 10 picture of Frodo/Merry/Sam/Pippin/any other actor you die over.
64) You have your parents write logic puzzles for you to solve in which you and your friends go touring Middle-earth (with certain ‘gentlemen escorts’).
65) You declare a “Lord of the Rings actor movie day” in which you do nothing but watch movies involving actors from LOTR. (I repeat, no matter how stupid they may be)
66) You swear that when you are older you will be rich so that you can hire someone to build you Meduseld for a Summer Home and an Imladris in which you will live in during the rest of the year.
67) Whenever the name “Tolkien” comes up in conversation, on TV, etc people look directly at you to see the giddy smile on your face.
68) You keep every ticket stub from every time you’ve seen LOTR in the cinema.
69) In your bedroom alone, you have 5 different LOTR calendars because they happen to have different pictures in them!
70) You’ve made an LOTR fan site/fanfic or two.
71) You can relate absolutely any word, phrase, place, thing, person, etc, to LOTR in some way, no matter how abstract.
72) If you are caught day dreaming in class (most likely about LOTR), your teacher/friend yells, “There’s a Hobbit on my desk!” to get your attention.
73) You’ve driven some of your friends to insanity because you never… ever…. ever… ever... EVER stop talking about LOTR.
74) You and your friends have made matching LOTR t-shirts.
75) You buy and actually send LOTR valentines to people, signing them from the character they most admire.
76) You cry when playing your LOTR video games because you killed a fellowship member!
77) Even after seeing it several times, and knowing that he’s not really dead, you still cry when you see Aragorn go over the cliff.
78) You walk around your house frightening your relatives by saying, “Sméagol... Why are you crying, Sméagol?” and finishing the rest of the conversation with yourself. All of this is done, of course, in a Gollum voice.
79) You have LOTR sound clips play when people sign on and off of your buddy list.
80) You attempt to construct Ents from a paper towel tube, Popsicle sticks, toothpicks, and Barbie hula skirts.
81) You make friends with the people that work at Wal-Mart so that you can pinch the store displays from them when they are no longer using them.
82) You suggest that any teacher trying to threaten a troublesome student should shout, “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”
83) People are terrified to insult LOTR around you for they know you’ll sic your “Warg Riders” on them.
84) You make new lyrics for Christmas Carols involving LOTR themes.
85) When it snows, you and your friends go out and pretend to be hobbits on Caradhras, while your mother pushes snow off the roof at you, and your father stands in the background chanting like Saruman.
87) You insist that the lyrics do NOT say, “There was a farmer who had a dog and Bingo was his name-o.” they are in fact, “There was a hobbit had a ring and Frodo was his name-o.” Sing with me now! “F-R-O-D-O! F-R-O-D-O! F-R-O-D-O and Frodo was his name-o!”
88) Whenever you walk through woods, you find yourself singing silly songs such as “Hey dol! Merry dol” and other such nonsense.
89) Elvish is becoming like a second language to you.
90) You have a mailing address for all the cast members.
91) You have actually sent them fan mail.
92) If when seeing LOTR in the cinema someone near you is talking, you tell them to "keep their forked tongue behind their teeth" Then after receiving quite an odd stare you translate and simply ask them to stop talking.
93) You have a hit list of everyone that has referred to the Elven race as ‘faeries’/fairies.
94) You have an even larger hit list of everyone who has referred to the Elven race as “Santa’s ‘lil helpers” or said that Elves are short little evil things in faerie tales.
95)You have developed a nervous twitch that occurs when people dare to tell you that they haven't seen LOTR yet.
96) Your family refers to your room as “Middle-Earth”.
97) It is now a habit to sing Pippin’s bath song whenever showering or bathing
98) You strongly believe that you should be able to receive foreign language credits in school for learning Elvish.
99) You make things to decorate your room with that you can’t find elsewhere such as forms of LOTR lamps and curtain ties and such.
100) Your parents are considering enrolling you in a twelve-step program to cure you of your obsession.
101) You are considering plastic surgery to make your ears pointy. (DONE!)
102) When listening to the movie soundtracks, you can tell exactly what is happening at every moment.
103) You have developed a sixth sense that will tell you where the nearest LOTR-related item is.
104) The question: “What do you want for your birthday,” has now become, “What don’t you have yet?”
105) You save the receipts of anything you buy LOTR related…
106) You have made a sign for your room that says “Elves *or other species* Crossing".
107) You can't say 'elephant' anymore. All that ever comes out of your mouth is 'Oliphant'.
108) When the One Ring *accidentally* slips out of your hand, you jump under the table to catch it, sweating profusely.
109) You find yourself jabbering at your school staff in Elvish.
110) The signature you sign EVERY email with is in Elvish.
111) Every time you see a flock of birds overhead you either shout “Crebain from Dunland!” and then duck down, or you observe “it’s moving fast, against the wind.”
112)You think that it would be cool to engrave "Azh nag krimpatul" (“one ring to bind them”) on wedding rings, even if it isn’t in the actual poem…
113) You notice that the Elvish is translated wrong, or spelt wrong, or mispronounced...
114) You talk to your Pictures on the wall.
115) You dress up and act as if you are in the movie.
116) You think that your teachers are Mordor spies.
117) You have at least one Middle-earth identity (including name, homeland, and possibly a link to the actual trilogy) and view yourself as a one of the Companions.
118) While waiting to see ROTK, you drew something that looked remarkably like Legolas.
119) Instead of saying "hey" or "wassup?" when you greet someone, you say "elen sila lumenn omentielvo " or another Elvish greeting.
120) You are broke due to spending all your money on LOTR stuff.
121) You learned the poem "Three Rings", some lines from both book and movies by heart.
122) English is not your first language (meaning Elvish or Rohirric is).
123) The only reason you play an instrument is so that you can play LotR music
124) Just about every dream you have is about LotR.
125) When any of your relatives sees any of the LotR cast on a talk show they call you up and tell you.
126) Whenever you go to the library you automatically go to the Tolkein books and look at them even though you've read them all.
127) If you have a friend named Sam you call them Samwise and always say things to them like, "I'm glad you're with me Sam."
128) You insist ‘Sam’ is short for ‘Samwise’, not ‘Samuel’.
129) You've made your own Fellowship cape and you wear it everywhere to the grocery store, to church, to walk the dog.
130) You use tape to make your ears pointy and keep them that way all the time even to bed.
131) People have started calling you Hobbit Girl/Hobbit Guy more than your own name. (I get called Mary at school, despite me telling everyone it’s spelled ‘Merry’ and I am an Elf, not a Hobbit. But then, there is a good thing to being a Hobbit… *cough cough* Frodo *cough wheeze*)
132) You hold conversations with the LotR posters on your wall.
133) You put a gold ring on a chain and finger it at all opportunities whilst pulling Frodo faces (gold ring? I have The One Ring!)
134) If a friend does something stupid you shout "Fool of a Took!" and receive weird looks from surrounding strangers.
135) You see cast member look-a-likes EVERYWHERE!
136) You count down the days, hours, minutes, and seconds to the Hobbit release (and annoy all your friends with it)
137) Your doormat says "speak Friend and enter”
138) Your parents are going crazy because you added "Oliphant", "Frodo", "Hobbit", "Gondor" and numerous Elvish words to the computer's spelling dictionary. (I get annoyed when it says 'that is not a real word' and added them all to my dads dictionary too)…
139) You are always getting in trouble for leaving LOTR stuff on the clipboard in Word, so when your parents go to "paste", instead of the resume they had on it earlier, they get 10 paragraphs on the exclusion of Glorfindel.
140) You beg your parents to let you move to New Hampshire, just because it has "Shire" in it.
141) You have a replica of The One Ring on a small chain put on (one of) your Frodo action figure(s) and you tell everyone "That's how heavy a burden it was for poor Mr. Frodo"
142) You have a replica of The One Ring and YOU wear it.
143) You try and succeed to walk on thick snow, you promptly declare 'i am Legolas!!!'
144) You dig tunnels with your friend through the snow and say you are Boromir and Aragorn.
145) You are constantly correcting people's pronunciation of Celeborn etc (it is Keleborn, not Seleborn!)
146) You spend all your time moaning that none of the more minor characters get to be on merchandise.
147) You argue that Gollum is not evil, just misunderstood...
148) You have them all on DVD, but insist on watching and recording the films when they are run on TV any way.
149) When watching the films, you run out of the room and come back in wearing your One Ring...
150) You can no longer pronounce words starting with ‘c’ properly. I.e. ‘sircle’ becomes ‘kircle’, ‘selebrate’ becomes ‘kelebrate’ etc.
151) You experienced clinical depression when you saw the end of RotK (“It’s gone. It’s done. It’s over now.”)
152) You go on an annual vacation to Middle Earth (you lock yourself in your room for a week with some lembas and read the Silmarillion to RotK along with Lost Tales and The Children of Hurin, and also watch all the movies [both the cartoons and the ‘Real’ ones])
153) You are begging your parents to change the last four numbers of your area code on your phone to ‘FotR’, ‘LotR’, or another LotR-related word.
154) You cleared out all your Star Wars videos to make way for your Lord of the Rings DVDs.
155) Your computer user password hint is ‘Ennyn Durin atan Moria: pedo mellon a mino’ and your password is actually ‘mellon’.
156) You have become strangely obsessed with mushrooms.
157) You have a cookbook of every LotR recipe known to Google.
158) You actually cook recipes from it.
159) You eat more LotR food than fast food.
160) You say ‘Nobody tosses a Dwarf!!!’ when somebody expects you to do something against your honor.
161) When you catch your siblings getting into your things, you grab them by the ear and say, “Peregrin Took, and Meriadoc Brandybuck. I might have known.”
162) You start a mine in your backyard convinced if you dig deep enough you’ll find Mithril.
163) You never associate again with anyone who tells you, ‘It’s only a book/movie.’
164) When people ‘underestimate’ your power you yell at them, “I am not a conjurer of cheap tricks!”
165) You have attempted to teach the Ringwraiths, ‘Stop, drop, and roll’.
167) Words like ‘Yrch’ and ‘pedo’ actually make sense to you.
168) You swear you heard your baby brother say, “Ash nazg thakatuluk agh burzum ishi krimptal da kommen manchma…”
169) You know why September 22 is special.
170) You actually celebrate September 22.
171) You spend most of your time staring into a mirror expecting to see the past, present or future.
172) You randomly quote quotes from the movie at your family/friends/the air.
173) You speak to people mainly in Sindarin or Quenya, then when they ask you to explain yourself, you mutter something about small minded humans.
174) Whenever you see someone else drinking Root Beer, you say, “It comes in pints? I’m getting one!”
175) People have gotten used to you saying that, so now they reply, “You’ve had a whole half already!”
176) You drink many mugs of Root Beer then say, “I feel something. A strange tingling in my fingers. I think it’s affecting me.”
178) Whenever you go down a long flight of stairs you begin humming the Moria music and pretend to jump the gap at the end.
179) You find yourself hearing dialog from the book. When people are talking about something else.
180) You know you’re obsessed when you start a thread like this.
181) You know you’re even MORE obsessed when you type this all off the top of your head.
182) You find yourself hearing dialog from the book.When people are talking about something else.
183) You've learned how to write in Tengwar.
183) You have memorized all the Dwarvish runes.
184) You actually translated the Runes in The Hobbit like the preface tells you you can.
185) You know you’re in the deep end when you and your other LotR obsessed friends switch fluently from Elvish to English and back again, and completely understand each other.
186) You purposely do this in public just to confuse strangers.
187) You prove to Europeans you aren’t just an ignorant tourist by beginning all your conversations to them in Elvish (so what if they can’t understand you? You’re bi-lingual.)
188) You pretend you’re sick to stay home from school just to read The Two Towers (again).
189) Even your friends who haven’t seen the movie can finish quotes you begin.
190) When you can listen to the Fellowship soundtrack and know exactly what would be going on in the movie.
191) You watch completely non-LotR related movies because an actor was in a movie with an actor who was in LotR, ex., Orlando Bloom is in LotR, he is also in Pirates of the Caribbean in which Johnny Depp is, Johnny Depp is in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory in which AnnaSophia Robb is in, AnnaSophia Robb is in Bridge to Teribithia, thus you watch Bridge to Terribithia.
192) You insult people in Elvish and refuse to translate.
193) When you turn a LotR soundtrack off you double-check to be sure it’s off since you still hear it playing.
194) When the words ‘token’, ‘habit’, and ‘golden’ come up in conversation, you hear ‘Tolkien’, ‘Hobbit’, and ‘Gollum’.
195) You watch a random movie and see scenes that you think they stole from LotR. (I watched Journey to the Center of the Earth the other day, and saw SO many LotR-copies…)
196) You desperately clamp onto the edge of a playground slide and scream to the surrounding children, ‘Fly, you fools!”
197) When you build a treehouse you beg your father just to make the floor so you can have a flet in Lothlorien.
198) You throw a new year party on March 20.
199) Your dad calls you his 'little elf maiden', and your school knows you as 'that mad elf girl'.
200) You grumble that your homemade lembas doesn’t fill you in one bite; it only makes you hungry for more. (LOL it does!)
_________________ <center> 
Maybe it's true I can't live without you
Maybe two is better than one
-Boys Like Girls
 </center>
|
