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 Post subject: Re: LOTR crimes
PostPosted: May 10th, 2017, 11:02 pm 
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I would never Steal Rochallor so that Fingolfin has to walk to Angband to confront Morgoth mostly because after telling Thuringwethil she can have one of Morgoth's Silmarils if she helps me steal them I would be too busy. Then of course I would have to admit to her along the way that I offered Carcharoth a nice, juicy steak if he will refuse to fight Huan.... because other wise she might start inquiring of other.... things... O_o :P


1. Steal all of Rivendel from the elves through "proving" with a lawyer that the land used to belong to your ancestors until the elves took it from them.

2. Sneak Cyan pepper into Bilbo's smoking tobaco

3. Switch all the horses in Rohan with a warg in each stable.

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 Post subject: Re: LOTR crimes
PostPosted: May 11th, 2017, 8:33 pm 
Istari
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I would be forced to admit that I had (attempted) to steal Rivendell from the Elves by using a questionable lawyer who "proved" that the land used to belong to my ancestors, who lost it when the Elves "stole" it from them.

I would never sneak cayenne pepper into Bilbo's pipe-weed because I'm definitely not a dab hand at "dipping" and I would find it impossible to steal it from his pocket without him noticing, and catching me at it.

And, I would get caught trying to switch the Rohirric horses for Wargs when one of the horses (Snowmane) kicked me through his stall while panicking at seeing the Wargs; after which, the grooms arrived and ......

1. Steal the shards of Narsil and reforge them into a lovely set of steak knives.
2. Tell the Dark Lord that a nice bridge has been built facilitating entry into Nargothrond.
3. Tell Gothmog there's a large pool in Gondolin which he should avoid at all costs.

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 Post subject: Re: LOTR crimes
PostPosted: May 28th, 2017, 11:41 pm 
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I would never steal the shards of Narsil and reforge them into a lovely set of steak knives, because I would rather steal them and re-forge them into a sword of my own making!
I would admit to telling the Dark Lord that a nice bridge has been built facilitating entry into Nargothrond.
After which I would tell Gothmog there's a large pool in Gondolin which he should avoid at all costs.


1. Forge a fake ring and switch it with Frodo's One Ring before Gandalf returns from searching for answers
2. Forge a fake Anduril and switch it with Aragorn's before he sets off through the paths of the dead
3. Forge/create a fake Palantir and switch it with Denathor's at the white tower

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 Post subject: Re: LOTR crimes
PostPosted: May 31st, 2017, 11:08 pm 
Istari
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I would never forge a fake ring to switch with Frodo's One Ring before Gandalf returned from his search for answers because I don't want Sauron's Nazgûl chasing after me.
I would admit to forging a fake Andúril and switching it with Aragorn's before he set off through the Paths of the Dead but .....
Only after I got caught trying to forge/create a fake Palantír to switch with Denethor's at the White Tower.

1. Tell Legolas he's actually a foundling and has been raised by Thranduil after being found under an oak tree.
2. Tell Samwise that Rosie Cotton has been stepping out behind his back with Fatty Bolger.
3. Tell Boromir that Faramir made up his dream so he could get him away from Minas Tirith in the hope of over-throwing their father before he returned.

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 Post subject: Re: LOTR crimes
PostPosted: June 1st, 2017, 9:10 pm 
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I would admit to telling Legolas he's actually a foundling and has been raised by Thranduil after being found under an oak tree.
I would never tell Samwise that Rosie Cotton has been stepping out behind his back with Fatty Bolger.
Inwould get caught telling Boromir that Faramir made up his dream so he could get him away from Minas Tirith in the hope of over-throwing their father before he returned.


1. Warn Smaug that the dwarves are coming for him
2. Warn the dwarves that Smaug "somehow" knows they are coming from.
3. Set Lake Town aflame before Smaug can

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 Post subject: Re: LOTR crimes
PostPosted: June 2nd, 2017, 1:50 pm 
Istari
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I would never warn Smaug that the Dwarves are coming for him. And, I would only admit to warning the Dwarves that Smaug "somehow" knows that they are coming for him, after I got caught setting Laketown aflame before Smaug could.

1. Tell Bilbo that the Great Goblin is very anxious to meet him.
2. Tell Thorin that Bilbo stole the Arkenstone and gave it to Gollum as compensation for taking the One Ring.
3. Tell Balin that Thorin is planning on sending him on a "fool's errand" so he can get "first dibs" on any artifacts in Erebor.

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 Post subject: Re: LOTR crimes
PostPosted: June 6th, 2017, 10:53 am 
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Inwould never tell Bilbo the Great Goblin is very anxious to meet him... I might say he is anxious to MEAT him, though... O_o
I would admit that I did tell Thorin that Bilbo stole the Arkenstone and gave it to Gollum as compensation for taking the One Ring.
I would get caught telling Balin that Thorin is planning on sending him on a "fool's errand" so he can get "first dibs" on any artifacts in
Erebor.



1. Sing elven songs in the Dwarven mines.
2. Carve Dwarven Runes on the Elven homes
3. Lead a large Dwarven hunting party to hunt in the woods of Lorien.

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 Post subject: Re: LOTR crimes
PostPosted: June 6th, 2017, 4:08 pm 
Istari
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I would get caught singing Elven songs in the Dwarven mines and, under interrogation, I would admit that it was I who carved the Dwarven Runes on the Elves homes. I would never lead a large Dwarven hunting party into Lórien to hunt because their breathing would surely give us away, and the Elves have very sharp pointy things.

1. Serve a vegetarian dinner to Dúrin the Deathless.
2. Take an Orc hunting party to Mirkwood so they can kill Thranduil's moose.
3. Ask Éowyn to make the stew for Aragorn and Arwen's wedding feast.

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 Post subject: Re: LOTR crimes
PostPosted: June 7th, 2017, 12:58 pm 
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I would have to admit to serving a vegetarian dinner to Dúrin the Deathless after being caught asking Éowyn to make the stew for Aragorn and Arwen's wedding feast
I would never take an Orc hunting party to Mirkwood so they can kill Thranduil's moose because I would need the moose as my get-away ride after running from angry pateons due to my poor catering choices!!



1. Convince the hobbits that in order to make sloppy Joes you have to have a guy named Joe who is uncleanly and use him in the food.
2. Tell Gandalf that Aragorn intends to take the ring and use it to defeat Saruman in single combat.
3. Tell Frodo the only way to destroy the ring is to eat it.

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 Post subject: Re: LOTR crimes
PostPosted: June 7th, 2017, 4:20 pm 
Istari
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I doubt seriously that I could convince the hobbits that, in order to make Sloppy Joes, you have to have a guy named Joe who is unclean, and use he to prepare the food.

I would get caught telling Gandalf that Aragorn intends to take the Ring and use it to defeat Saruman in single contact, and would have to admit that I told Frodo the only way to destroy the Ring is to eat it, when Gandalf can't find it.

1. Tell Eöl Maeglin is moving to Gondolin so he can usurp Turgon's throne.
2. Tell Aredhel that Eöl is going to Gondolin to ask for a divorce.
3. Tell Turgon his nephew and brother-in-law are coming to Gondolin to set up a new forge.

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 Post subject: Re: LOTR crimes
PostPosted: June 9th, 2017, 11:10 pm 
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I would never tell Eöl Maeglin is moving to Gondolin so he can usurp Turgon's throne... I would hate to spoil his plans! :P

I would get caught telling Aredhel that Eöl is going to Gondolin to ask for a divorce but to change the subject I would admit to telling Turgon his nephew and brother-in-law are coming to Gondolin to set up a new forge.


1. Eat all Frodo's Lembas
2. Replace Gimli's dwarven axe with an Elven long bow
3. Convince Denathor to go to the council of Elrond instead of Boromir

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 Post subject: Re: LOTR crimes
PostPosted: June 10th, 2017, 1:17 pm 
Istari
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I would get caught eating all of Frodo's lembas by Sam who would be pissed off because he wanted it and, under his stern gaze, I would cave and admit to replacing Gimli's Dwarven axe with an Elven longbow.

I would never try to convince Denethor to go to the Council of Elrond instead of Boromir, in case he asked me to sing for my supper.

1. Steal all of Legolas' grooming products.
2. Shave off Aragorn's beard while he's sleeping.
3. Use Gimli's war axe to chop kindling.

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 Post subject: Re: LOTR crimes
PostPosted: June 15th, 2017, 12:31 pm 
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I first would be caught shaving off Aragorn's beard while he's sleeping. Upon catching me Legolas would force me to admit it was me who stole all his grooming products... but ONLY so I could give Aragorn a proper "makover" I would then smile sheepishly and say, "I guess this means I won't get to use Gimli's war axe to chop kindling?"


1. Eat Denathor's meal before it is served
2. Put tons of black pepper, cyan pepper, and jalapeño sauce on his next meal so it burns like fire.
3. Tell Denathor he eats too much and is a pig so he needs to stop eating so much.

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 Post subject: Re: LOTR crimes
PostPosted: June 15th, 2017, 2:27 pm 
Istari
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Switching around the order .....

I would get caught telling Denethor he eats too much, has the dining manners of a pig so he needs to stop eating so much.
I would then refuse to eat Denethor's meal which would rouse his suspicions, and I would have to admit that I had put tons of black pepper, cayenne pepper, and jalapeño sauce on itl so it would burn him like a fire.

1. Steal Strider's Ranger clothes and sell them at a swap meet.
2. Sharpen Gimli's axe and permanently ruin the blades ability to hold a decent edge.
3. Steal Sting from Frodo and use it to carve a roasted turkey.

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 Post subject: Re: LOTR crimes
PostPosted: July 1st, 2017, 12:17 am 
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Hehe



I would never steal Strider's Ranger clothes and sell them at a swap meet because I would need them to sneak in and sharpen Gimli's axe and permanently ruin the blades ability to hold a decent edge. I would not admit tonthat, however until after I was caught stealing Sting from Frodo to use it to carve a roasted turkey. After all... Gimli's axe is so dull it would no longer donthe job so i had to go with plan B!



1. Wear a star Trek uniform to Aragorn's wedding? (And yes... that's a crime! :p )
2. Tell Barliman Butterbur that hobbits are dangerouse and convince him not to "serve their kind." (And if you get that you might be a star wars need...)
3. Stand along a street in Hobbiton waving your hand suspiciously at passing hobbits saying, "These are not the stollen cakes you are looking for." Then sneak a tasty bite of cale the moment they turn their backs.

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 Post subject: Re: LOTR crimes
PostPosted: July 1st, 2017, 10:06 pm 
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I would naturally get caught wearing a Star Trek uniform to Aragorn's wedding and, because they thought it was some Orcish insignia, I would be captured, and have to admit, that I told Barliman Butterbur that Hobbits are dangerous, and that he shouldn't serve "their kind".

I would never stand on a street in Hobbiton waving my hand suspiciously at passing Hobbits while saying: "These are not stolen cakes you looking for." Nor would I be able to sneak a tasty bite of cake the moment they turn their backs, because I would be locked up in some dungeon in some long forsaken hole.

1. Offer to fight Bolg one-on-one at the Battle of the Five Armies.
2. March alongside the Orcs and Uruk-hai in Saruman's army to Helm's Deep.
3. Ride one of the fell beasts into battle at Pelennor Fields.

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