I would get caught telling Gimli he can have all the ale he can drink if he paints the Green Dragon Inn red, but would never tell Éowyn she can have an unlimited number of cooking lessons with the best cook in Rohan if she sews each of the Nazgûl bright orange robes.... because it would probably do her no good... I would then admit to telling Èöl he will have unlimited wealth if he uses only blue metal to make his two finest swords and once he is done I would buy the swords for myself with the unlimited wealth I am offering him.



1. Steal rohirim and gondorian blades so you can make an entire suit of armor out of molded sword blades. (No sharp edges against your skin mind you)

2. Sneak into Hobbiton and skin all their goats so you can make the largest Goat skin rug ever

3. Pluck every last leaf off of tree beard.

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I would get caught stealing Rohirrim and Gondorian blades so I could make a full suit of armour from them, because I would have stabbed myself several times during the thefts, and they would have just had to follow the trail of blood to Hobbiton; where I would be in the process of admitting that I had snuck into that fair village to slay and skin all of their goats to make the largest goatskin rug ever. I would, however, never be stupid enough to pluck every last leaf off Treebeard because he would squash me like a bug.

1. Challenge Merry and Pippin to a table dancing contest.
2. Steal all of Gollum's freshly caught fish and charred them in the cooking fire.
3. Singe Gimli's beard and hair off with a fire brand.

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Tevildo, Prince of Cats

I would get caught challenging Merry and Pippin to a table dancing contest after admiting to stealing all of Gollum's freshly caught fish and charring them in the cooking fire. Though the thought would cross my mind as I look into said cooking fire I would never singe Gimli's beard and hair of with a fire brand.

1. Force Golum to eat Lembas
2. Force Frodo to give up the One Ring
3. Force Sam to trust Golum

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Tevildo, Prince of Cats

I would never tell Boromir that he, too, could be a paragon of fashion like his brother if you became his valet. I would admit to telling Faramir that some strange dude, Thorongil by name, will make him a master swordsman if he gives him the keys to the treasury room and then get caught telling Denethor that his sons are being corrupted by strange figures lurking around the throne room.

1. Snatch a baby warg and raise it as a pet
2. Send Arwen the wrong direction when she goes off to "save Frodo" (movie version) and send Tom Bombadil the right way.
3. Tell Yavanna that Sauruman plans to burn down the forests and kill the ents

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Tevildo, Prince of Cats

I would admit that I told Daeron that Lúthien will be dancing under the full moon so that he can spy on her only so I could set him up. Inwould never tell Beren that Daeron is spying on his fiancé on the next full moon.nInstead Inwould be caught telling Thingol where and when he can find his daughter's suitor ogling her by moonlight so he would remove Daeron from the picture.


1. Insist that they re-name Túna... Because it sounds too much like... Well... Tuna. (That's FISHY!)
2. Offer the builders of Helms Deep advice on how to build the wall better without it's "one Weakness"
3. Tell Pirates when Frodo and Bilbo are sailing into the weat so they can raid the ships

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Tevildo, Prince of Cats

The words... "Heck NO!" come to mind... I would NEVER run through the streets of Minas Tirith wearing only a red speedo and a tiara. Never. Instead I would much rather be caught crashing King Théoden's party at Meduseld dressed as a Viking, and steal all of the casks of mead. After that I would admit that I also entered the Prancing Pony the day before dressed as a clown, leaped onto the bar, and juggled plates for the patrons.


1. Slobber in Gimli's drink when he is not looking
2. Steal Pippin's pipe tobaco
3. Try and put horse shoes on Shadowfax

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Tevildo, Prince of Cats

I would get caught Tilling Aragorn Arwen is having an affair with Legolas by Legolas as he came to see what Aragorn was doing.
I would then asmit to asking Bill Ferny the best way to cheat pony purchasers out of their money in order to change the subject. I would, however, never help Gríma find a way to propose to Éowyn and inherit the crown of Rohan.


1. Give Christopher Lee his script from starwars instead of LOTR when he gets up to practice his part for the first time.
2. Throw rubber battle axes at the goblins from behind the camera during filming of the Battle of Helms deep
3. Steal PJ's coffee while filming a long grueling take so he falls asleep in his director's chair and then take over directing so you can get your name in the credits as "Co-director"

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Tevildo, Prince of Cats

I would never Accompany Bill the Pony back to Bree so you could sell him to Farmer Maggot because bill is a nice pony. Instead Inwould get caught stealing Fang and Grip (bu Fang and Grip) from Farmer Maggot to be used by Sauron in a new Warg breeding program
And then would admit to stealing all of Farmer Maggot's best cabbages to make cabbage rolls for the patrons of the Green Dragon.


1. Forge a fake Anduril and switch it with the real one
2. Interupt the elves every time they start singing
3.Put Bill the pony's shoes on Shadowfax

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Tevildo, Prince of Cats

Lol I'm sorry! I've just got shadowfax on the brain as of late. (He is weighs quite heavy on the brain too... O_o )

I would never steal all of Sam and Frodo's lembas, and replace it with dry crackers, because after I admitted to having issue an edict prohibiting the eating of second breakfasts, and morning and afternoon tea breaks, to reduce the amount of obesity in the Shire they would not let me within a hundred miles of them ever again. So... instead I would head to Mordor where I would be caught knocking on the Black Gate so I could sell Sauron an encyclopaedia set.


1. Stay FAR AWAY from Shadowfax and pester the horses in Bree instead.
2. Eat the carrots meant for the horses in Bree
3. Throw horse apples at passing pedestrians in Bree

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Tevildo, Prince of Cats