I was going back through all my OCs and charries and found that... they were all more MS than Mary-sue and Marty-sam themselves! But I kind of liked some of these characters since I had used them quite a bit BUT! As I have matured, I have looked back to see how horribly MS they all are and I have decided to strip them all down to the bare minimum and build them up and revamp them into hopefully better and more realistic characters. Or... realistic to their own world.
I will also be adding new characters to this as well.
dark blue=revamped character
light blue=new character
And also,
Critique is welcome! In fact I would love critiquing here, so if you see something very odd, don't be afraid to point them out!
And you mind find most all of my characters are redhead. This reason might be because I myself am a redhead, and feel like there is a lack of redheads in the world!
Alright, so to start off, I will revamp my possibly most MS and oldest char ever! My elven namesake!
Here is the old bio:
viewtopic.php?t=14799It's revamp time!!Name Eruraina Ruindoleth
I changed her last name from Lusseroch(horse wisperer) to Ruindoleth(Firey red hair) because the last name is more of a chosen name that relates to the character somehow. And Eruraina isn't really a horse whisperer, but she has firey red hair, so this name fit better.(translation thanks to realelvish.net)Appearance eyes a blue-green with tingles of gold, kind of like the color of a murky sea in the sunset. But eyes are not the dominant feature, and don't stand out. Her face has the usually fair elven beauty with small delicate features, though a scar runs from the corner of her mouth to the corner of her eye on the right side of her face. Her hair is a flaiming fire color that runs in waves down her back, almost to her waste. But it is often braided. She is lean and fit, with calloused hands. And she is the average height of an elf, with the usual slender build compared to that of men.
Instead of drawing out the appearance to multiple selections, I decided to lump it all together in one section. Instead of "mesmerizing eyes" and "red-hold hair" I made her eyes less dominant, and more related to something natural as seems fitting with elves. And the same with the hair. I don't imagine it red-gold... more flame colored. Her build is the usual for elves, the only real peculiar thing about her is her scar(when it comes to appearances). Even though Tolkien doesn't mention any elves with red hair, there might have been a few, since as I recall just none of the elves that make it to spotlight and names are redheaded.Apparel Her travel apparel is made mostly of light leather and weatherproof cloth dyed in various shades of forest green and navy blue. The hems and edges are designed with silver elvish leaves and vines. Her light shin-high riding boots are worn and brown with the same designs, and the cloths are complete with a dark grey cloak. Other apparel may vary from rp to rp or scene to scene.
I was looking through her apparel and man... there was alot of black and silver and brown. It was making me depressed. And they're not really elvish colors either. So, lets turn it around and completely change the color scheme! Some a little more likely for an elf to wear. A little less descriptives, I know. I don't go into the details of each layer, but this is where my fellow rpers' imaginations can be allowed to roam free. 
Weapons A longsword at her hip with horse heads on the hilt in fluid elvish design and a pomel with a clasp holding a blue jewel. She also has a plain wood longbow and simple arrows with white fletching and sharp broadheads in a quiver painted with designs of horses on a green feild and a red sun.
The old version of her sword had a black rohirrim style hilt and a white blade... O.O MS alert! MS alert! A WHITE blade? Cht... no thank you... lets elf it up a bit, lessen the rohirrim influence, and make the blade normal, please! Not to mention the inscription didn't make any sence, so lets just wipe that away until I think of something better! And the arrows again went with the black and white theme she used to have... lets get a little more normal and a little less morbid there!Known FamilyCousins viewtopic.php?t=6736&sid=1ed1e906ba2c1eaeb9298f87d4a0cbd7Ira & Tulie
Lover Locien
Child Roina
CompanionsHorse all black mare named Fuin
Eagle a trained golden eagle named Hen
Yes, I cut out alot of stuff here. I think the species and name of the animal companions is enough, don't you think? "build like a friesian, speed faster than a thoroughbred..." Okay, the MS raidar is going haywire! Lets just say black mare... Simple, nothing special. And no matching eye colors this time... And golden eagle is breed not color... they just look kinda golden... And I totally wiped away the dragons. Why? Because I'm pretty sure in Middle-Earth there are no dragon-dragonrider relationships with dragons. Especially after reading about Bilbo's encounter with Smaug(and wasn's Smaug the last dragon?)HistoryEruraina was estimated to be born between 1050 TA and 1100 TA. She was found by some messangers heading from Gondor to Rivendell. She was in the arms of a dead she-elf that was slain by orc arrows in what would later be named the Gap of Rohan. It was assumed that that woman was her mother. The messangers braught Eruraina to Rivendell where she was raised in the caring arms of foster parents. But very young she would find herself with a very restless heart and found herself yearning for adventure. She was allowed some quests to Angmar and Eregion, and became very familiar with the area west of the Misty Mountains. In these years she became a very proud elf, as well as difiant and strong willed. This was changed when one day she tried to cross the pass of Caradras in the middle of winter when the trails were harsh, alone. Eruraina's horse hit a snow bank and freaked, bucking and bolting off. Eruraina was flown from the horse's back and hit the cliff beside them, causing her to loose conciousness.(Also it would be this accident that also caused the scar on her face since her face also hit a sharp rock)
When conciousness returned, she found she and her horse had been saved by a Lothlorien elf by the name of Locien. He escorted her back to Rivendell where they spent some time together and the experience as well as Locien himself, humbled Eruraina greatly, and gradually the two fell in love. It was not long after that that they wed and soon had their daughter, Roina.
They moved to Locien's home in Lothlorien and were happy together for many years. Until Locien was ambushed by orcs on a messanger mission, and his life was lost. Upon hearing the news of her lover's death, Eruraina fled from Lothlorien, leaving her daughter behind. She fled eastward, finding herself in unfamiliar lands. One of which was the newely developed realm of the Horse-lords. It was hear she stumbled across a breeder having trouble with wolves scaring his herds. Eruraina helped him out, and as payment was given her black mare, Fuin. In the past, even during her travels before, Eruraina didn't care to assosiate in the world of men, thinking them a lesser race(one of the reason she was considered very proud), and cared less of their doings. But this encounter made her curiouse about the race of men and so she spent some time amung the Horse-Lords, learning their history and deeds before moving on to Gondor to find a library of histories in Minas-Tirith. She became engrossed in books, forgetting her grief, as her eyes slowly opened to the world around her. So she took off exploring with a heart open to learning, humbling herself to new standards.
Upon returning to Rivendell after a few years she encountered twin she-elves that it was later somehow discovered that were her cousins. For some time she stayed there, learning from the masters alongside her cousins before restless feet and her unquenchable curiosity led her to wandering again...
Okay... So this history is MUCH different from before... but I prefer it. It seems more realistic. And I actually did a little research to see what was going on in Middle-Earth. She was born sometime between when Greenwood was renamed Mirkwood and the first White Council. I kept the general events. Her obtaining the scar, falling in love, having a child, love lost and leaving her daughter, some feats in Rohan, discovery of family, and such. Just in a different order as originally. Much was changed. Like originally Eruraina got a scar by being ambushed by 20 orcs and somehow making it out alive... MS RADAR!!! GOING CRRRAAAZZYYY!!!! Yeah... how about a freak accident while trying to cross Caradras pass(I spelt that so wrong) during bad weather? Yeah... seems more likely to me, eh? And this concludes Eruraina's revamp. Time to move on to the next character.
