Rules      FAQ       Register        Login
It is currently December 11th, 2017, 8:57 pm

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 8 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: The Lay of Mary-Sue and Marty-Sam
PostPosted: November 4th, 2006, 9:05 pm 
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: 05 May 2005
Posts: 695
Location: Somewhere far, far away...

Offline
    The Lay of Mary-Sue and Marty-Sam


    Listen, O my children
    And take careful heed
    Lest you fall
    Into this greatest misdeed

    Of Fanfiction writers,
    And Role-Players, too.

    It is of Mary-Sue and Marty-Sam
    Those names so horrible to hear
    But that, alas, I fear we all
    Have written,
    Some day or other.

    Mary-Sue takes many forms,
    All name exotic she loves
    Her hair is long
    In shades of gold,
    Or perhaps of bright shining red.

    Whatever the color, it shimmers and sparkles
    And its equal has yet to be found.
    Her skin is so clear!
    Her complexion so white!
    Like a diamond displayed in the moonlight.

    She is tall and beautiful, belovéd by all
    Her eyes are an emerald green,
    Her clothes always shimmer
    And sway in the breeze
    Even if they be made of leather!

    Skilled and deadly in the arts of war,
    Her bow and her sword always are near
    Her aim is so true,
    And her quiver never empties,
    And she is never at lack
    Of a quip to her enemies.

    Now, my children, I turn to Marty-Sam
    Lesser the known,
    Much more the deadly.

    Marty-Sam is ever so handsome,
    But in a tasteful, dark kind of way,
    "Authority? What's that?
    Am I some kind of prat?"
    (But then, one day he will be king.)

    He is clothed all in black, so dashing and smart
    His sword has a hilt of silver,
    So rich, so beautiful, this weapon of war,
    And it's name is, of course, unpronounceable.

    Marty-Sam and Mary-Sue, both warriors, both handsome
    Their foes fear them the most
    Mary-Sue is the Elven Ranger,
    Marty-Sam, a lonely warrior, searching for something…

    It is Mary-Sue he is seeking!
    Oh, wonderful day,
    When he finds her and holds her a heartbeat away!

    O, how they love each other!
    Their joy has no bounds!
    But wait! What is this!
    Who can this be?

    The Villain! Oh No! For it doth seem to me
    That he loves Mary-Sue, but not very nicely.
    Oh horror!
    Oh dread!

    Now it is time, his heroine kidnapped!
    Marty-Sam girds up his sword,
    And leaps on his steed, a stallion it seems,
    A horse just as black as the night.

    Mary-Sue, meanwhile, will not ever give in!
    "Marty-Sam loves me," she cries.
    Seeing his pervertedness
    Will not win the day,
    The Villain gets angry! Oh no!

    Marty, hearing his heroine cry from a lonely tower
    In a castle all covered in vines,
    Jumps from the saddle, and begins to climb
    Hoping his love will be fine.

    Not to fear, Marty, 'cause Mary's quite well,
    For in time she suddenly remembers:
    She's a warrior! She's strong!
    No one can deny
    It is with great skill that she steals her foe's sword.

    Holding it to his throat, Mary-Sue proclaims
    That she is free, she is mighty, and no villain can win!
    Oh no!
    Because this is a sappy fanfic, or role-play, or…
    whatever.

    Just at that moment, Marty-Sam arrives!
    He must rescue his heroine!
    He must! He must!

    Sword shining brightly, it comes down with force,
    But wait! What on earth? This just isn't right!

    Mary-Sue, if you'll kindly remember, has just rescued herself!
    Is holding a sword
    To the villain's neck!

    Oh dear.
    Oh dear me.

    Marty-Sam's sword has found it's mark, but alas!
    It also is where
    Our Heroine just happens to stand
    and it seems that
    Her head, as well as the villain's
    is cut cleanly off of her rest.

    Marty-Sam stands there, transfixed with horror
    This isn't how it's supposed to end!
    He cries to the sky
    "Oh, please, take my life!
    For I have along with mine enemy destroyed my love!"
    With that, and with a final kiss blown
    To Mary, Marty leaps from the window and the tower so tall.

    So please, oh my children, take my advise.
    Never, oh never,
    No, please never write
    Of Mary-Sue
    And her Marty-Sam.

    ~Fin.




---------

Coming Soon to a forum near you...


REVENGE OF THE CLICHES

_________________

<center>Image
Image
~I am a Shieldmaiden for Christ!~
[?~^:]
Doll base


Top
 Profile                  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: November 26th, 2006, 11:49 pm 
Maia
Maia
User avatar

Joined: 26 November 2006
Posts: 4503
Location: USA

Offline
wow that was amazing!


Top
 Profile                  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: December 24th, 2006, 5:24 pm 
Tolkien Scholar
Tolkien Scholar
User avatar

Joined: 24 January 2006
Posts: 7390
Country: United Kingdom (uk)

Offline
W000000T HELL YEAH YOU GO GIRL

_________________
Image
Made by Lembas


Top
 Profile                  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: January 2nd, 2007, 9:15 am 


A most appropriate story, and precautionary tale, for those making their first foray into writing.

And a subtle and humorous reminder for veteran writers, lest we forget.

Thank you, so very much!!


Top
                  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: February 16th, 2007, 3:54 pm 
Dwarf
Dwarf
User avatar

Joined: 17 November 2006
Posts: 88
Location: Holland, MI USA
Gender: Female

Offline
Beautifull images!!

_________________
Image

~The Beloved A-U Gentlewoman ~

Image


Top
 Profile                  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: May 13th, 2007, 11:19 am 
Gondorian
Gondorian
User avatar

Joined: 29 September 2006
Posts: 265

Offline
Very Interesting...

_________________
Formerly Known As MysticsAngel, *Arya*, Nessa Eledhwen, and Lyra Silvertongue. (I know. I change my name a lot...)

Image
Image
Thanks to Revenge for the banners!


Top
 Profile                  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: May 30th, 2007, 8:28 am 
Half-elf
Half-elf
User avatar

Joined: 14 November 2005
Posts: 913
Location: USA

Offline
*applauds*

Thanks for this reminder!

_________________
Image


Top
 Profile       WWW            
 
 Post subject: Re: The Lay of Mary-Sue and Marty-Sam
PostPosted: November 30th, 2017, 4:38 pm 
Dwarf
Dwarf
User avatar

Joined: 01 November 2017
Posts: 90
Location: Southern Hemisphere
Country: Australia (au)
Gender: Female

Offline
By all the gods and hells, YAAAAASSSSSSS!

_________________
~Dancing 'twixt southern stars~

(other stuff too but my poetic license expired)


Top
 Profile                  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 8 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]




Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Jump to:  
cron




Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group
Boyz theme by Zarron Media 2003