Wait? Did I just hear the word misplaced? Hmmm... maybe I can help here, Aina thought, taking her finger out of her hair.
She pushed toward the gnome.
"I lose things a lot! I bet I could help!" She said, none to quietly.

_________________
<center>
Receiving So Much More.

PM me with prayer requests
www.therebelution.com
</center>

"Misplaced?" Osnaian repeated incredulously. "How did that happen, pray tell?" Stupid moronic gnome. What does he want us to do? Go on a little scavenger hunt? Even if it was for a beautiful artifact of unimaginable power, he still wouldn't go on it. He didn't need power. He hated having it. He liked being responsible for himself.

_________________

I was cured all right.

"Didn't you hear me the first time?!" said the gnome (slightly loudly). "It wasn't my fault, okay? It just... wasn't..." Sniffling (extremely loudly), he began to cry.

Eyfene chewed her lip and tossed a glare at her fellow elf - the tactless one - as well as the dark-haired female she'd decided not to like. It wasn't as though she sympathized with the gnome. Far from it. She merely experienced a soft twinge of compassion that may or may not be borne of pity and might or might not lead to acts of kindness. After all, she too had a propensity for misplacing things. Perhaps that explained the two-letter prefix attached to her title.

She rose to her feet and awkwardly patted the gnome on the shiny bald head. "No worries. I'll help you find it." Not that I have a choice, she added despondently, but then a human girl and the druid robed in dun(g) chimed in. She paused long enough to offer them both a warm smile.

"You didn't really think I was crying, did you?" the gnome demanded, shifting again into his customary glare. He sniffed, then continued briskly, "Hmph. Works every time. Anyhoo, onwards to business." Muttering into his beard, he hopped down from the table and began clearing a spot in the center of the tavern. He moved precisely two stools and one chair before, huffing and puffing, he collapsed and moaned, "My knees, my knees!" The result? One gnome plopped into an overstuffed armchair (which the barkeep somehow managed to cough up from the back room) and half a dozen unfortunate souls finishing the job.

Thirty-one minutes past midnight, a ticked off Eyfene poked the gnome in the belly. "Business?" she prompted.

"Snore," the gnome replied. ("ZZzzz" would be more accurate, but onomatopoeias remind me of English teachers, so I'll refrain.)

Eyfene slapped him. And spirited bachelorettes, especially elven ones, are quite good at slapping people.

"That was uncalled for!" he sputtered, as soon as his eyes popped open. "You're such a pickle-headed tomnoddy!" ("$%^#%" would be more accurate, but that is, unfortunately, censored.) Snatching up his (full-sized) twig, he wriggled out of the armchair and stumped to the cleared space in the center of the tavern. "Well?" he demanded. "Whoever's coming, gather 'round, gather 'round. And whoever's not coming... well, you can just work your way out the door." (You don't really think he means that, do you?)

_________________

"Think that isn't what I've been attempting for the last bloody thirty-one minutes?" snarled Orithon, trying to detach the gnomette from his leg for the twenty-seventh time. She'd bitten him seven times, tripped him ten times, and shrieked piercingly nonstop through that entire half hour. Orithon's head was pounding. It really didn't improve his temper.

For the sixteenth time, he whipped out a dagger and attempted to dispatch the small creature with a well-placed stab. For the sixteenth time, it mysteriously flew out of his fingers and whizzed off to join its fellows in the opposite wall.

"This way!" chirped the gnomette merrily, ceasing her shrieks of glee to grin diabolically up at him. Orithon, predictably, found himself moving to, as the other gnome put it, "gather 'round".

"I - don't - care - what - it - is - you've - lost," he snapped, kicking out with every word. The gnomette, of course, did nothing but shriek louder. Glaring daggers - all the ones he'd lost in the opposite wall - Orithon dropped into a chair. The tiny gnome instantly let go her hold. "Can't go, oh no!" she chirped, dancing around him like some sort of demented doll. "Elfy boy has to stay here!"

He was regretting even thinking about following the directions on that note.

_________________

Dyriazyx Zrystialyna Zahradnik Calanon (known by her friends, enemies, and casual acquaintances as simply 'Jade') was a wanderer. She went where she wanted when she wanted to and in whatever manner she felt was best. True, she was often employed by others to vanquish various forms of evil, but such a profession was hardly restricting. Her employers allowed her to accomplish her tasks by whatever means she wished (Jade would work under no other conditions), and she was always free to select whichever job sounded most appealing. And, as an added bonus, she was making the world a better place to live in - one of the most liberating feelings that Jade had ever experienced.

All this to say, Jade rather liked freedom. She liked being able to choose where she was going next, and how. Unfortunately, she seemed to have had this right temporarily revoked, as was evinced by the fact that she was currently being herded through the streets by a small procession of ten or so young gnomes and gnomettes. It certainly hadn't been her choice to come with them. As of thirty minutes ago, she had been quietly enjoying a modest meal in one of the town's more moderate inns and planning on retiring fairly soon, so as to be well-rested for the start of her next quest in the morning. Apparently, there had been some manner of 'fell beast' spotted by a group of farmers some twenty miles west of Eresdor. Since Jade specialized in the elimination of all forms of evil, she felt it was only her duty to at least investigate the claims. All of this, as of thirty minutes ago.

As of twenty-nine minutes ago, Jade had found herself suddenly surrounded by several eerily gleeful gnomes. After several minutes of simply staring, she had asked what she could do for them and was answered with a string of cheerful babble about their feet. Feet? Gnomes' feet? Oh. She'd vaguely recalled the note that she'd found in her pocket that morning saying something about a gnome's foot, as well as several other strange things. Smiling politely, she'd gently informed them that she was on a very important quest and didn't have time for their large coin sacks or cookies, but the poor dears evidently hadn't understood, for they had proceeded to remove the chair from underneath her and hurriedly usher her out the door. Only when she'd tried to turn back and had been immediately met with pointy objects and something that sounded vaguely like a threat had she understood: noncompliance was not an option.

Thus, at precisely thirty-six minutes past midnight, Dyriazyx Zrystialyna Zahradnik Calanon (Jade) found herself being rather unceremoniously shoved through the doorway of The Gnome's Foot. She immediately recovered her balance and straightened, instinctively yanking up her hood to cover her pointed ears. They'd gotten her into some rather interesting situations in the past.

"Drow-girl tried to run away!" one of the gnomettes announced cheerfully, pointing up at Jade.

"I'm not a drow!" Jade said insistently. She'd already tried to convince the gnomes of this several times already on the journey over. Alright, so technically, her father was a drow. But her mother was a High Elf, so why couldn't she ever be called 'High-Elf girl'? Yes, her skin was darker than the typical porcelain white, but it meant nothing! Once she had fully rid the world of all major forms of evil, Jade vowed that her next objective would be clearing the drow name (her sparkling reputation as a slayer of evil would hopefully be of assistance there) and teaching younger drow that the reputation of their race did not condemn them to a life of evil-doing. Then, she perhaps would attempt to end world hunger, or....

The realization that everyone was still staring at her put an abrupt end to Jade's altruistic planning. "Hello," she said politely, inclining her head respectfully. There was a gnome holding a stick at the center of the room whom she assumed as the leader, of sorts. "I'm very sorry, sir gnome, for failing to reply to your summons, but you see, I'm on a mission of utmost importance that cannot be fully disclosed in a place such as this - no offense to anyone present. As I am in no imminent need of money or cookies, I'm afraid that I shall have to ask your pardon and be on my way. Should you need any evil slayed in the future, however, I would be more than pleased to offer my services."

Having smoothly extricated herself from the situation and thus removed any obligation that she had to be present, Jade dipped a quick curtsy and turned to leave. She'd nearly made it to the door when she suddenly found several small people attached to her legs. "Ah, sir, your...companions have...."

Would it be too late to join this?

Because really, this looks fantastic.

Name: Drey Madoc
Gender: Male
Race: Human
Age: 41
Profession: Cook
Weapons: Dagger, crossbow
Appearance: Greying red hair, squinty brown eyes and an ample beer belly. Rather tall and quite fond of wearing garish red tunics, he also sports an odd conical hat that looks vaguely like a spoiling aubergine.

_________________

_________________


Just became a college freshman; be on sparingly

[excuse the writing quality that follows. almost midnight here and I'm tired. ]
Eyfene fell out of her chair. A chair? What chair? She'd been standing only a moment ago. She must not have registered the actual, mundane act of sitting down, when she was soaring so fantastically in the magical realm that elven bachelorettes know so well - the Land of Fantastical Clouds Full of Fluffy Hearts and Handsome Men. Prince Alexander 'Alex' Balmoral n+2 the Absolutely Peerless all but forgotten, she gazed at the ebon-haired, emerald-eyed, singing sexy beast with her heart in her eyes. Oh, the beauty! Oh, the rapture! Oh, the manliness of his voice! Oh, the -

"Kindly spare our eardrums," said the gnome, with a petulant glance at the ebon-haired, emerald-eyed, singing sexy beast. At this, Eyfene pouted. As if he actually needed his eardrums at the moment. What was he doing, anyway? He seemed to be poking the floor with his (full-sized) twig. No, there was more than that. He was drawing something. "There!" he declared, stepping back to admire his handiwork. Grinning from ear to ear - a none too cuddly sight - he glanced at the others. "Look!"

Eyfene looked. "Wow," she commented. "Floorboards."

Face falling, the gnome stared at the apparently empty space on the floor and tapped his bearded chin. "It lacks a tad of artistic flair. I know!" Vewy, vewy carefully, he lowered his (full-sized) twig. A puff of smoke, then a fireball shot out its end and caught onto the wooden floorboards, where it thinned and raced along invisible lines until it outlined a magnificent -

"What is it?" asked Eyfene.

The gnome glared. "Don't you recognize a penguin when you see one?"

"A what?"

He waved his hands dismissively. "Never mind that, you #@$%@#. I mean, you pickle-headed tomnoddy. Now, all of you, kindly wipe your feet and step onto the flaming penguin." A shuffle of feet and a few squeals of encouragement (among other, more physically violent things) from the gnomettes. "Gather close, now. Don't be shy. Ready?" Crowded close among her new companions (the penguin on the floor was rather small), Eyfene shut her eyes and heard the gnome clear his throat. "Bippity boppity boo!" Pop!

A rush of wind and magic and sparkly rainbow colors. The last thing she recalled before she lost consciousness was the gnome shouting, "One last thing! If ever in doubt, tell them that Mushoo sent you!" Then the world went [s]black[/s] blue, and she dreamed blissfully of floating on clouds with fluffy hearts and handsome men.
[INTERMISSION] [aka LDM being too tired/lazy/braindead to properly introduce new scene]

Eyfene was the first among her newfound companions to wake up. The first thing she saw was a lot of snow - a vast plain of snow, really. Then she noticed the penguin.

She screamed.

_________________

Arete walked towards the pinguin, staring daggers at Vrjyndor. As he passed the man, he muttered "You sir, are drunk and should shut up" in none to polite a way. Then he walked onto the flaming pinguin, wondering what great and awsome (note the scarcasm) act the gnome would preform next. Then the gnome uttered the words, "Bippity boppity boo!" and there was a loud pop as Arete felt the tugging of the magical transport spell. The gnome's last words were lost to him as the spell whisked him away from the tavern, much to his thankfulness, but his last thoughts were of a less than thankful nature. Bippity boppity boo, how original.

***

Arete awoke to the screams of one of his companions. As he picked himself up off the packed snow, he looked around and saw nothing but more snow; though he wasn't really looking as the girl was still screaming. "Shut up!" he shouted at her. "It's just a penguin!"

_________________
Four Gods wait on the windowsill,
Where once eight Gods did war and will,
And if the Gods themselves may die,
What does that say for you and I?

Now, three Gods wait on the windowsill
Where one God's blood was lately spilled
While black tongues lap at the spreading pool
And build the strength they need to rule.

Aina blinked a few times, then rubbed her eyes.
Unsure of what was going on, she pinched herself.
Someone else's scream pierced her ears, and she looked around her, trying to understand what was happening.
She took in her surroundings, noting snow, people, and... a penguin?

Aina shook her head and rubbed her eyes again.
She poked the person nearest to her. "Can someone tell me what's going on?"

_________________
<center>
Receiving So Much More.

PM me with prayer requests
www.therebelution.com
</center>

Saeryn didn't care about the important, powerful, etc. artifact. She was going on the quest, no doubt about that, but it wasn't for the artifact. She glanced sideways at the black-haired, singing man. <i>He's so handsome!</i> Casting her eyes the other way, she spotted the Prince fellow. He definitely wasn't bad-looking, either.

Even if it wasn't for the men, Saeryn would have gone just to make her cousin angry. He was always complaining that she didn't do enough in the carpentry shop. Just let him see how he liked taking orders, helping irritated customers, making deliveries... He'd be missing her in no time. She almost laughed outloud thinking about it. It would serve him right. And she would get to watch those handsome men some more.

When the gnome drew a flaming... bird on the floor, she eagerly stepped inside, elbowing her way to fit in with all the others. Her world spun suddenly, twisting and turning in a most attractive manner. The colors and shapes abruptly dissappated into a snow-covered landscape, her companions, and one... bird. <i>What is that thing?</i> she wondered, still lying on the ground. Whatever it was, that elf lady seemed to think it was reason for panic.

Standing up slowly, she said, "So... where are we?"

Etra rolled over and groaned, this was not his day. First a letter, then a gnome, now a freezing cold iceburg. On top of it all he was being poked by a nearby girl. "What?" He growled in his most menicing voice.

(sorry for the uber-short post, but I'm kinda tired, plus this character is very unfamliar to me, and sorry for not posting more, but I've been trying to follow along.)

_________________

Married Artemis Fowl on July 16, 2007
[!+^$%=#?&]
The Seemingly Nice But Actually Really Nasty Nazgul
School ate my life. *sigh*

_________________


Just became a college freshman; be on sparingly