Bella nodded and followed, grabbing clothes on the way, she swayed abit and leaned on the door frame watching him. "I guess hunting would be ok. I havent hunted in le last 4 months." she confessed, 4 months since he died. He was why she hunted at all. After her parents died when she was little, 10 years old, she moved in with her aunt and uncle. THey never wanted kids. So when she moved in they did little with her.

Then in grade 12 when she was 17, along came the Winchesters. They were good to her. She didn't hunt really, but she spent time with them and gave info on what she knew about the school. So when they left, she went with them, well after them. Being with them helped, it wasn't like they made her whole, they helped her realise she wasn't nobody.

But when she lost Dean 4 months ago, she started to doubt and her world started crashing. If he could die, why would she try.

_________________
Where do you go when your running away,
The cost of stopping is too great to pay.
~Amanda (saw this written in a washroom stall at a movie theater)

Dean was a little disappointed to hear that she hadn't hunted since he died. He would have killed just about anything he could if someone close to him died, but Bella was not him. "Need to start getting you back intot he hunting habit then, now that I'm back. Hopefully you aren't too rusty." He said jokingly. As he thought about how Bella is now vs. how she was she just seemed to let herself slip into oblivion, she looked like a completely different person now. He flet that the water was warm and grabbed a towel down from the shelf above the toilet. "Water's warm." Dean said as he handed Bella the towel. "I'm gonna uh," he looked around the room outside, "start cleaning up I suppose. We need to leave as soon as we can. Whatever pulled me out of the Pit is bad mojo and we need to know what it was fast. Never know if it is going to come back. Damn!" Dean spotted a mountain of beer cans beside the bed that he didn't see before, "How long have you been here Bella?"

_________________
Still happily married to Sean Bean! (05-Feb-2010)

Bellaa shrugged. "Don't remember." she looked down. "I know I used all the money I had on beer though." she closed her eyes. She wasn't sure what he would say to that. She knew she was drunk all the time now, trying to get rid of the pain that loosing him gave her, but he was back. She sighed and closed the door geting ready for her shower. 30 minutes later she was opening the washroom door again. She had cried in the shower, silently so Dean couldn't heat, but she did. SHe didn't know why though.

_________________
Where do you go when your running away,
The cost of stopping is too great to pay.
~Amanda (saw this written in a washroom stall at a movie theater)

Dean wasn't quite sure what to say when she said she spent all her money on beer. He had the room pretty clean by the time she emerged from the bathroom. Dean saw that she was wiping her eyes a little but he just figiured that she was getting something out of her eye or the sensation of getting soap in the eye was still there. "Good to see you nice and clean Bella." Dean commented unsure of what to say. "Starting to look like yourself again." He had a moment of thought about how they were going to get to Booby's house. He sure as hell didn't want to hotwire that piece of crap again. "Do you mind if we take your car? I had to hotwire a piece of crap to get here."

_________________
Still happily married to Sean Bean! (05-Feb-2010)

Bella nodded and grabbed her things and headed out to her car. "Could you drive?" she asked still no feeling herself even with what he said. Part of her hoped Bobby wouldn't tell Dean about her habits, the ones Dean didn't know about. It was one thing to get drunk, it was another to go out to demon invested areas and just yelling out she was a hunter. She tried that 3 to 5 times with Bobby having to rush in to rescue her.

It really wasn't that she was upset about Dean had died, a big part was the guilt. Right before Dean, Sam and Ruby were about to go in and face Lilith, she had gotten his attention and would have told him she loved him, but she lost her nerve. She never told him how she felt.

_________________
Where do you go when your running away,
The cost of stopping is too great to pay.
~Amanda (saw this written in a washroom stall at a movie theater)

"No problem. I was going to suggest that maybe I should drive." Dean couldn't help but give a small laugh as he took what he could of Bella's things and stuffed it in the car. He unlocked her door and started the engine.

_________________
Still happily married to Sean Bean! (05-Feb-2010)

Bella got in and leaned on the door of the Car. It would be a long drive, adn if she was luck she would sleep through most of it. And lucky enough she did as dean turned on the radio.

_________________
Where do you go when your running away,
The cost of stopping is too great to pay.
~Amanda (saw this written in a washroom stall at a movie theater)

The dive took almost a day but the familiar sight of Bobby's junk yard was now in thier sights. Dean pulled the car up by the front door and got out. He when up to the front door, knocked and waited for Bobby to answer. Bella was soon at his side. "How the hell am I going to explain this?" Dean thought to himself right before the front door opened. "Suprise." That was all Dean could get out as Bobby looked at him purely supprised.
"I don't...?" Bobby asked quite confused as to how Dean could be here even though he died 4 months ago.
"Yeah me either." Dean cut him off as he walked inside in front of Bobby who had stummbeled back in suprise. "but here I am." Bobby reached for his silver knife on the end table by the door and strted swinging at Dean. Dean blocked his blade and whe he was hit back into the house he called, "Bobby! Bobby it's me!"
"My a$$!" Bobby replied not willing to take the risk, he started for him again.
"Wait, Wait, Wait!!" Dean said as he brought a chair inbetween them. "Your name is Robert Steven Singer. You became a hunter after your wife got possessed.... you're about the closest thing I have to a father." Bobby just looked at him suprised. "Bobby... It's me!"
Bobby acted like he realized that it was Dean, pushing the chair away to get closer and touched his shoulder. Dean gave a slight smile hoping Bobby finally understood when the silver blade came back towards his head. Dean got Bobby's arm in a lock behind him back. "I'm not a Shapeshifter!" Dean said.
"Then your a Revenant!" Bobby stated as Dean took the knife from Bobby's hand and pushed him forward.
"Alright if I was either..." Dean said as he held his laft and out and the knife in his hand. "Would I do this with a silver knife?" He rolled up his left sleeve gave a sigh and cut himself. The blood trickled down but that was it.
"Dean?" Bobby asked as the reaization finally hit that he wasn't a supernatural being.
"That's what I've been trying to tell ya." Dean walked towars Bobby and , Bobby pulled him into a hug. He couldn't believe it!
"It's-It's good to see ya, boy." Bobby said rather emotionally.
"Yeah, you too." Dean replied with emotion as well.
"But, how did you bust out?"
"I don't know. I just, ah, woke up in a pine box..." Dean had placed the knife down and looked back at Bobby only to be greeted by a bunch of holy water to the face. He stood there for a second before spitting some of the water out to the side. "I'm not a demon either you know." He couldn't help but state as he looked back as Bobby.
"Sorry..." Bobby said holding up the holy water. "Can't be too careful."
"Can I get a towel or something?" Dean asked as he was dripping with holy water.
"Oh ya, of course." Bobby went for the towels and noticed bella had closed the front door and was now standing in the room. "Bella? Good to see you girl. Why didn't you tell me it was really Dean?" He handed Dean the towel and Dean started to dry off his face.

_________________
Still happily married to Sean Bean! (05-Feb-2010)

"Sorry." Bella said and looked down. THe Beer was still in her system making her reactions slower then they should have been. "Do you have some asprin Bobby?" She asked and gave him a look that meant she didn't want him to tell Dean about what she did after sam left, but she knew he still would.

_________________
Where do you go when your running away,
The cost of stopping is too great to pay.
~Amanda (saw this written in a washroom stall at a movie theater)

Bobby gave a disapproving sigh as he went to the cabnet to get her some asprin. "Here Bella." He said, hander her a capsule or two. "You know where the water and cups are." He turned his attention to Dean. "Even if you were a demon I can still see why Bella would still be with ya."
"What do you mean?" Dean asked as he still was wiping holy water off his face and clothes.
"Bella has been practically asking for demons to get her since you died. The past few months haven't been easy for any of us."
"What do you mean Bella's 'been practically asking for demons to get her'?" Dean's big brother instinct had kicked in full gear.
"For a while she had been walking out into crowds of demons shouting out she was a hunter. They beat her senseless too. I would always find her at bars afterward completely blacked out and practically broken..." Dean just looked at him with a clear what-the-hell expression on his face. "After you died she just lost her mind and her will to hunt."
"Are your serious?" Dean asked with unbelief hoping Bobby was joking.
"Yes Dean, I'm serious. I gave her a damn good talking to everytime too and then she was gone after the third or fourth time."
"You just let her leave?"
"She left in the middle of the night I didn't know until she was gone. I don't know what other stupid things she did after that."
"You didn't even try to find her?"
"Of course I did! She is an adult Dean! If she don't want to be found she won't be found." Dean immediatly made his way to Bella.
"Why would you just let demons do that to you Bella!? What were you trying to accomplish?" Dean just thought she had turned into an alcoholic but the drop hunting and ask for demons to practially kill here made him angry and really worried. If Bella was doing this then what the hell might Sam be doing?

_________________
Still happily married to Sean Bean! (05-Feb-2010)

Bella took the asprin. "Bobby shouldn't have told you." She said not looking Dean in the eyes. "It was my choice to do it ok? After you died I figured why try any more." She looked out the window, she wasn't ready to confess her feelings. She was sure Bobby knew, although he never said anything.

_________________
Where do you go when your running away,
The cost of stopping is too great to pay.
~Amanda (saw this written in a washroom stall at a movie theater)

Dean couldn't believe what he was hearing. She was so full of life and then in an instince she just rolled over and changed into this person that stood before him. "You just figured because I am gone that you can't do something good and meaningful with your life?" Dean became somewhat frustrated but know he was seriosuly wondering what the hell Sam was up to if Bella had changed this much. "Sorry. I just don't understand why you would roll over like that Bella." He looked back at Bobby. "Hey Bobby, Sam's number's not working... he's not.."
"Oh no, he's alive." Bobby stated. "As far as I know." his finishing atatement didn't bring Dean too much comfort.
"Good. Wait, what do you mean 'as far as you know'?" Dean had thought about it for a second.
"I haven't talk to him for months."
"You're kidding, you let Bella and Sam go off by themselves?"
"He was dead set on it."
"Bobby you should have been looking after them both."
"I can't be everywhere all the time you igit. I tried! These last fer months haven't been easy you know. For any of us. We had to bury you."
"Why did you bury me?"
"I wanted you salted and burned, the usual drill, but.. Sam wouldn't have it and Bella agreed."
"Well, I'm glad they won that one."
"Sam said you'd need a body when he got you home somehow." Bobby thought for a second. "That's about all he said."
"What do you mean?"
"He was quiet.. real quiet."Bobby found a seat before he continued. "Then.. he just took off. Wouldn't return my calls, I tried to find him but... he don't want to be found."
"Damnnit..." Dean gave a sigh of frustration.
"What?" Bobby asked.
"Oh he got me home ok. But whatever he did it is bad mojo."
"What makes you so sure?"
"You should have seen the gravesite. It's like a nuke went off. AFter I got out I could feel something following me but I haven't any idea what it was. I never saw it."
"You think Sam made a deal?"
"That's what I would have done. We need to find him."
"Agreed."
"Hey Bobby, mind if I use your phone?"
"Go ahead."

Dean immediatly when to the phone and rang up the cell phone company he and Sam always used. "Hi, I have an account with you guys. And uh, I lost my phone. Wondered if you could trun the GPS on for me?" He waited until the person at the other end asked a question or two. "Yeah, the name is Wedge Antilies... Social is 2474... Thank you." Click. Dean went immeditatly for the computer to locate Sam.
"How did you know he would use that name?" Bobby asked.
"You kidding? What don't I know about that kid?" Dean replied matter-of-factly. "Hey Bobby... what's the deal at the liquor store?" Dean held up a bottle of boos "Hmm? Parents out of town or something?" Did everyone just turn into an alcoholic? What the hell?
"Like I said the last few months ain't been... al that easy." Bobby and Dean had a small stare contest.
"Right." Bobby was the first to break. Dean looked back at the screen to see that Sam was in Pontiac, Illinois. Dean was suprised and yet not suprised by this. "Sam's in Pontiac, Illinois."
"Right near where you were planted."
"Right near where I popped up. Quite a conicidence, don't you think? Let's go. If Sam did make a deal he has an a$$ kicking coming." Dean grabbed Bella's keys. "Coming Bobby?"
"Yeah, of course. I'm taking my own car though."

_________________
Still happily married to Sean Bean! (05-Feb-2010)

Bella went out to her car. She wanted to see Sam too, and to be truthful, she hoped he wasn't as messed up as her. As they drove she could tell Dean wanted to talk. Taking a deep breath, she asked. "What is it Dean, I know you have something to say."

_________________
Where do you go when your running away,
The cost of stopping is too great to pay.
~Amanda (saw this written in a washroom stall at a movie theater)

*Sorry for being away for a few days*

"When does it end!?" Dean was frustrated, angry, and a few other things but mostly those two. "Why do we all have to be so stupid? Dad makes a deal to save me, I make a deal to save Sam, and now Sam makes a deal to bring me back!? Is this just going to continue for the rest of our lives? One of us dies and the other goes and makes a deal and starts the cycle up again!? I told Sam not to bring me back if we couldn't get out of the deal, hell I didn't even want him to get me out of the deal or else he would die!" He paused for a moment and then looked at her. "And then I come back and learn that everyone has become an alcoholic again. You have changed into a completely different person since... you know. Bobby seems to be alright for the most part and I'm pretty sure Sam has lost it as well. I'm getting tired of this crap Bella." Dean continued to drive. He was having flashes of his time down in the pit but he didn't show it his face. He was somewhat relieved to be out but coming back to find friends and and idiotic family member in disoray is bad as well. In the back of his mind he hoped that Sam didn't make a deal but... if Sam didn't bring him back, then what did and why?

_________________
Still happily married to Sean Bean! (05-Feb-2010)

((Its fine.))

Bella looked out the window. "Dean, I'm sorry ok. I know I'm a mess. I know I shouldn't have let myself end up the way I did. But it helped with the guilt." She looked at him. "And I don't mean the kind of quilt for not being able to save you." She looked at him clearly for the first time since he came to the hotel. He hadn't changed, and something urged her to tell him how she felt.

_________________
Where do you go when your running away,
The cost of stopping is too great to pay.
~Amanda (saw this written in a washroom stall at a movie theater)

He knew being angry and frustrated wasn't going to help with how he felt about what happened to Bella. All he could do now was help her get back on her feet. He thought about her last sentence for a second. "If it wasn't 'I couldn't save you guilt' then what was it?"

_________________
Still happily married to Sean Bean! (05-Feb-2010)