*jumps* how long was it? I need to know

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i need your help guys!!! for a new story im writing...
i have 2 versions of one part but i dont know which one to use

version 1
Jasmine arrived the same time as Victor. They both waved to eachother as Jasmine waited for him to catch up. All she knoes is that she is going to ask him one question and try to make it lead up to her hinting she likes him, she is so nervous. As he approached she took a deep breath.
"Hey Victor."
"Hey Jasmine."
"I have a question for you." Jasmine said with her heart fluttering and her stomach turning.
"What's up?"
"Are you and Anna going out?"
"What?"
"Are you and Anna going out?"
"No...no...did you think we were?"
Jasmine is feeling some kind of relief, but she is still scared and nervous about what's next.
"Yea, I would be pretty jealous of her if you were."
"Your would?" Victor said looking at her is disbelief, but his gleaming eyes had a hint of hope.
"Yea, I would be jealous 'cause...I like you alot."
"You do?"
"Yes, I do." Jasmine looked down at the ground. She automatically feels so embarressed, so stupid, so foolish to think a guy like Victor would like her.
"I like you alot, too."
"You do?"
"Yes, just to make it official will you go out with me?" Victor asked Jasmine just as they were about to enter bookclub, perfect timing. Jasmine smiled and looked up at Victor and said in a soft, caring and happy voice
"Of course."
The two hugged eachother in the doorway for a long, but not too long, time. They walked into bookclub together as they came to where Jasmine usually sits Victor gently pulled on her arm. "Sit with me."



I'll post the second version tommorow but i have to go now, sorry , talk to you all later
p.s. Sam thanks for thecomment

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i wanna join!! i wanna join!! see my poem at the fanfiction place...the thread is called

Dont Go (A Narnian Poem)

just over a page and a half, i didn't want to force the judges to read to much! *mutters about Sam writing five pages*

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<center>“Envy consists in seeing things never in themselves, but only in their relations. If you desire glory, you may envy Napoleon, but Napoleon envied Caesar, Caesar envied Alexander, and Alexander, I daresay, envied Hercules, who never existed.”
at one point, I was alejandrah.

Since I haven't done the prompt for ages, I'll do this one:

Hands
Hands....
Instruments of work and play
Made of complex tissues

Bones as rigid as steel
Connected to muscles
Tougher than rock
By tendons like bridges
Covered and protected
By layers and layers
Of dead and live cells
May bring life into the world
Or crush the life into death
With them, man has brought
Beauty and wonders into
Existence yet destruction
From hands entered the world
Men entered the dream of fame
With their unique skills with the hand
However those known for their evil
Are known for deeds done by hands
No matter, if it is used for good or
Death and hatred, hands are
Skillful tools, capable of many tasks

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I was cured all right.

i wanna join!! here's a Poem I have written




Don't Go


By: *Estel*

You walk to your
Death with a stern
face and pride,
I watch in the
Sahdows as I
quietly Cry
I look at your face,
it looks nither sad
or glad. You look
sort of troubled,
as you walk slowly
though this land
Your Proud head
drooped, sunken low
to the earth, makes
me Cry at the sight
As you stop and
look up, with monster's
so near, I hide
behind the bushes
to watch in Fear
With a sreaming laugh
and a knife in hand, the
One who will kill you,
is drawing near at hand.
"Why doesn't he fight back?"
I whisper to myself as they
bound you and taunt you
with shrieks and laughs.
The Knife raises's above you,
and with a joyous laugh,
the Knife falls and smotes you.
I whisper "Don't Go...
No! Dont kill him please!"
Its too late now there is
nothing to be done, as the
monsters scatter, and flee through
the Wood.
With sobs and tears, I walk near you,
to see your face, as I never knew

I Love that poem estel its amazing.

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New Account: Khaleesi

That's wonderful, Estel. I love it, especially as a huge CoN fan. Very nicely done.

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"Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home."

lol. thanks

Yes that really was fantastic. I also loved the one written by Caunion the Frost Lord as well.

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Made by Meganelf



Made 1000 posts on 7/22/06!!!!!!!!!

I wrote something for last week's prompt, but didn't really like it so I didn't post it. lol I really like what everyone else wrote!

I'll try a prompt for this week.
Write a poem, story, etc, taken from the simile, "As silent as the grave."

I really have nothing to do so I'm being brave and posting a poem I wrote recently because all my writing prompts are too long.

Human Hands
The baby giggles with gifted joy
His hand grazes his mother's cheek
Butter soft skin with muscles
barely worn with use
Bones so undetectable, beneath pudgy fleshy
skin
the beauty of the young years that
won't ever come again

The hands now know how to
push, how to hit, how to punch,
how to grab and how to handle pain.
But they are slowly forgetting how to
touch with grace and help turne the wild
tame

Gripping a steering wheel, his life at
his own mercy
His hands are rough for his age.
Perhaps too mature.
He believes he's grown, and all though he's not,
his hands would say otherwise because
of how much they are worn

He holds a new life in his hands
Suddenly the pain and destruction
they once caused, dissolve into skin
Just as he knew pain, he remembers love
While his daughter brings her hand
to his cheek

His bones of steel still craddle
dearly to his children's children
Nothing is stronger than a warming
touch by a man who's wrinkles remind
him of his own triumphs and growth
While stroking a hand through his daughters
hair can be his last sun-ray of hope

She keeps to her self while she
looks the coffin over
He still looks like her angelic grandfather,
she thought he'd be there forever
But she reaches for his strong but life-less hands
for her last good-bye
And suddenly her hands that
had been a predator and victim of fear
remembered how to love

Sorry it's not that good. I just wrote it last night so it needs a lot of work still

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Made by Meganelf



Made 1000 posts on 7/22/06!!!!!!!!!

Oh, Itarildë, that's beautiful! For someone who's been through that, it's really moving.

Everyone has been doing wonderful work! I haven't yet started on my contest submission. I don't know anything about French Opera... I'll still try, but I'm a little worried.

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The Mysterious A-U Gentlewoman

That's so good Itarilde!! I love the way you write, it flows so well.

Well, I have bad news. I have another book idea and now I can't concentrate on the one I started and got 54 pages in to.

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"Without music, life would be a mistake." - Friedrich Nietzsche



"Make happy those who are near, and those who are far will come."

Fwee!

ok here is the second version
Version 2
Bookclub finished and Jasmine was waiting for her next book. She feels a tap on her shoulder, she turns around to see Victor.
"Oh, hi Victor."
"Can I talk to you?" Victor asked as Jasmine's smile faded
"Sure." Victor grabbed onto Jasmine's arm and pulled her away from the crowd.
"What's up?" Jasmine said unsure of why he pulled her aside.
"I...um...I....wrote you a poem."
"You did?" Jasmine asked smiling again.
"Yea, well it's a sonnet actually..."
Victor read this poem to Jasmine:
Jasmine, as lovely as the flower,
Both too pretty for life to bare.
You have the power,
To make me look at you and stare.

Your brown eyes glitter,
Your brown hairs curl
Your smile's never bitter
Your beauty makes my love unfurl

I think about you always,
I wish I could be with you.
Even if it's onlt for a few days,
I wish you would love me too.

Did my heart love till now?forswear it, sight!
For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night.

When Victor was doe reading his poem, he looked up at Jasmine. She looked like she was about to cry.
"Victor, that was beautiful. And it had Shakespeare! The rhyming couplet, it was from Romeo and Juliet, when Romeo first sees Juliet at the Capulet ball."
"Thank you. Yes it's from Romeo & Juliet...what else do you think, like about the feelings behind the sonnet."
Jasmine smiled and looked up at him. "I'm happy. I'm truely happy, because that's the was I feel about you."
Victor smiled and looked down at her. "I'm going to say this, just to make it official-will you go out with me?"
"Of course I will."
"Jasmine, you have just officially made me the luckiest and happiest guy on Earth."
The tow of them looked at eachother. Knowing that what they've been dreaming about and wishing for has become reality. They hugged eachother, they hugged eachother tight and caring.
Jasmine pulls away, "Well I better head home."
"Do you need a ride?" Victor asked.
"No thank you, I want to walk."
"Oh okay"
Jasmine went into her purse and took out a pen and peice of paper. She started writing down her phone number. She wanted to get to know Victor better and talk on the phone with him.She handed him the paper, "Call me, maybe we can hang out, see a movie, take a walk or just talk. See you soon." She started to step away from him, then turned her back.
"Bye!" is all Victor could say. He was happy, shocked, excited, anxious, nervous, reliefed and just about every other emotion all at once.

ok can you guys tell me what you think about the 2 versions and maybe suggest which one you like best. and please give some reason why you like one more than the other. thank you.

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I like version 2 better, I think. Version 1 seems to be a little sudden, but that might be just me. lol

I don't know anything about French opera either, Anna. And I need to find a famous opera to use, but can't find anything online. lol

I do that alot too, Elenwe. I'm writing along on one idea, then get excited about another so I write on that one...it goes around in circles.

That's a beautiful poem, Itarilde!