Doctor Who:
[Tenth Doctor]
Rose: Oh, here's trouble. What you been up to?
The Doctor: Oh, this and that. Became the imaginary friend of a future French aristocrat, picked a fight with a clockwork man... [A whinny is heard from off screen] Oh, and I met a horse.
Mickey: What's a horse doing on a spaceship?
The Doctor: Mickey, what's pre-revolutionary France doing on a spaceship? Get a little perspective!
The Doctor: And just last week she stared into the heart of the time vortex and aged 57 years. But she'll do.
Jackie: I'm forty!
The Doctor: Deluded. Bless. I'll have to trade her in. Do you need anyone? She's very good at tea. Well, when I say "very good" I mean not bad. Well, I say "not bad"— anyway, lead on. Allons-y—but not too fast. Her ankle's going.
Jackie: I'll show you were my ankle's going!
The Doctor: Tracked you down with this. This is my timey-wimey detector. It goes ding when there's stuff. Also, it can boil an egg at 30 paces, whether you want it to or not, actually, so I've learned to stay away from hens. It's not pretty when they blow.
The Doctor: Lonely assassins, they used to be called. No one quite knows where they came from, but they're as old as the Universe—or very nearly. And they've survived this long because they have the most perfect defense system ever evolved: they're quantum locked. They don't exist when they're being observed. The moment they're seen by any other living creature, they freeze into rock. No choice, it's a fact of their biology. In the sight of any living thing they literally turn to stone. And you can't kill a stone. 'Course, a stone can't kill you either, but then you turn your head away. Then you
blink, and
oh yes it can.
The Master: And so it came to pass that the human race fell, and the Earth was no more. And I looked down upon my new dominion. As Master of all. And I thought it...
good.
Doctor: Name?
General Staal: General Staal of the Tenth Sontaran battle fleet. "Staal The Undefeated!"
Doctor: Oh that's no good. What if you get defeated? "Staal The Not-Quite-So-Undefeated-Any-More-But-Never-Mind?"
Donna: It's a murder, a mystery and Agatha Christie!
The Doctor: So? Happens to me all the time.
Donna: I know but isn't that a bit weird? Agatha Christie didn't walk around surrounded by murders, not really. That's like meeting Dickens surrounded by ghosts at Christmas!
Doctor: Well...
The Doctor: Almost every species in the universe has an irrational fear of the dark, but they're wrong, because it's not irrational. It's
Vashta Nerada.
The Doctor and Sky Silvestry: Roast beef. Bananas. The Medusa Cascade. [Beat] BANG! [Rapidfire] Rose Tyler Martha Jones Donna Noble TARDIS! [beat] Shamble-bobble-dibble-dooble. [beat] Oh, Doctor, you're so handsome. Yes, I am, thank you.
Mr Smith: I'm receiving a communication from the Earth-bound ships. They have a message for the human race.
Sarah Jane Smith: Put it through. Let's hear it.
Daleks: EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!
[The transmission continues. Jack Harkness and Martha Jones both hear it, and react in horror.]
Jack: No. Oh, no!
Gwen: What is it? Who are they? Do you know them, Jack?!
Sarah Jane Smith: [whispers] No.
Jack: [clutching Ianto and Gwen to him and kissing them on the forehead] There's nothing I can do. I'm sorry, we're dead.
Sarah Jane Smith: [crying] No, not them. You're so young! [hugs Luke]
[Eleventh Doctor]
Amelia: Are you all right?
The Doctor: Just had a fall, all the way down there right to the library. Hell of a climb back up.
Amelia: You're soaking wet.
The Doctor: I was in the swimming pool.
Amelia: You said you were in the library.
The Doctor: So was the swimming pool.
The Doctor: You're Amelia!
Amy: You're late.
The Doctor: Amelia Pond, you're the little girl!
Amy: I'm Amelia and you're late.
The Doctor: What happened?
Amy: Twelve years.
The Doctor: You hit me with a cricket bat!
Amy: Twelve years!
The Doctor: Cricket bat!
Amy: Twelve years, and four psychiatrists!
The Doctor: Four?
Amy: I kept biting them.
The Doctor: Why?
Amy: They said you weren't real.
River Song: Okay, I've mapped the probability vectors, done a foldback on the temporal isometery, charted the ship to its destination and... [presses a button, the TARDIS chimes] parked us right alongside.
The Doctor: Parked us? But we haven't landed!
River Song: Of course we've landed; I just landed her.
The Doctor: But it didn't make the noise.
River Song: What noise?
The Doctor: You know, the... [does an impression of the TARDIS materialisation sound]
River Song: It's not supposed to make that noise. You leave the brakes on.
The Doctor: Yes, well, it's a brilliant noise. I love that noise.
The Doctor: You graffitied the oldest cliff face in the universe.
River Song: You wouldn't answer your phone.
River Song: I have questions, but number one is this: What in the name of sanity have you got on your head?
The Doctor: It's a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool.
Getting carried away? Never
