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Post subject: Gollum and Smeagol's Diary  Posted: September 9th, 2008, 12:22 pm |
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Joined: 18 October 2007
Posts: 4502
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Dear Our Diary,
It is Gollum writing! Smelly, stupid Smeagol can't write with Gollum. He's useless, idiotic, stupid, preciousss, yes, preciousssss, stupid! I tell him to go and catch fish, otherwise we'll go without all evening. So he goes off and then comes back telling me he can't catch the slippery fish! He's useless, yes he is! Stupid, smelly Smeagol. So poor Gollum has to go and catch the fish for our supper.
Smeagol did try, yes he did precious! But the fishes were slippery and tricksy, so Smeagol had to bash them on a rock. You can't blame poor Smeagol, he tries his best, he does.
Shut up! It's me who looks after us. We survived because of me! And what do you do? Be stupid! Be nice to stupid, fat hobbits when we could easily just stab their eyeses out.
Don't be mean to me! We tries, we tries... Smeagol does his best to help, yes he does, preciousss.
Please! I'm the one who does everything. I slaves all day to get us a nice supper, and you does nothing. Gollum does everything, I am working my fingers to the bone.
Be nice to poor Smeagol!
Be nice to poor Smeagol? My precious! What abouts poor Gollum, eh? Pfffffffff!
Love from,
Gollum
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
And Smeagol xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
_________________ 
~~Siggy by Lembas~~
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Post subject: Posted: March 24th, 2009, 11:07 am |
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Joined: 02 May 2008
Posts: 3694
Location: A hidden forest in Middle-Earth
Country: 
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I think we need another entry on here sometime, Goldy.  Gollum/Smeagol is just too amusing.  _________________  Banner from Nellie
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Post subject: Posted: March 24th, 2009, 11:38 am |
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Joined: 04 June 2005
Posts: 11662
Location: Smeag's Island (Where the inevitable is evitable)
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That is so funny! XD
_________________ <center>
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Post subject: Posted: March 24th, 2009, 1:38 pm |
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Joined: 18 October 2007
Posts: 4502
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*Bows* Thank you, you two! Another entry it is...
~~~
Dear Our Diary,
It's been a while since we last wrote. We've been busy following about the two fat hobbits. Helping them find the hotel called the Crack of Doom. Apparently, they wants to find an expensive room for the precious!
We wasn't treated very nice once when we went there, precious, no we wasn't. Our hotel room was more of a... what was it, precious?
Dungeon. Anyways, we're going with the hobbits.
The fat one says he might buy us chips. We're being very nice to them, precious.
FOOL!
We should just stabs their eyes out, precious. Simpler that way. Then we takes the precious back home. Whys we needs to go all the way to Mordor to find a HOTEL, we doesn't know.
Apparently the rooms are very warm, precious.
SHUT UP!
Love, Gollum
xxxxxxxxxxxx(gollum, gollum)
and smeagolxxxx
_________________
~~Siggy by Lembas~~
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Post subject: Posted: March 24th, 2009, 7:09 pm |
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Joined: 13 August 2006
Posts: 1407
Location: Montana
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Gender: Female
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They think it's a hotel! Genius! _________________ 
and I'm still a dreamer, a believer
I've lost my faith in so many things but I still believe in You
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Post subject: Posted: March 24th, 2009, 10:20 pm |
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Joined: 08 October 2006
Posts: 4629
Location: Imladris
Country: 
Gender: Female
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Oh, that's so funny. Write more soon, please.
_________________  
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Post subject: Posted: March 24th, 2009, 10:24 pm |
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Joined: 31 August 2006
Posts: 500
Location: 1913
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Too funny! Write more! (Presssssure!)
_________________ <center> Needs help with her site!!!
Welcome to My World.
It is close to Narnia.
Thanks for your support. You know who you are.</center>
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Post subject: Posted: March 25th, 2009, 5:42 am |
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Joined: 26 October 2005
Posts: 2953
Location: Between the Shire and Erebor
Country:
Gender: Female
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That's so funny! Keep up the good work, I'm looking forward to the next entry  _________________ 
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Post subject: Posted: March 25th, 2009, 10:14 am |
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Joined: 18 October 2007
Posts: 4502
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Hehe! Thanks for the kind replies, guys Nice to know my work is appreciated
~~~
Dear Our Diary,
We hates them. We hates the hobbits. Kill them, preciousss! Yesss, kill them both, and then we takes the preciousss, and WE be the master now! No running about to nasstyy hotels, where the fees for one night will probably be more than the nasty hobbitses can pay. Will they run outs on the bill now, precious? Perhaps they'll do that? They're trickssy!
The hobbitses are only trying to find the precious a nice place to stay. Apparently, the Crack of Doom hotel has four stars!
Four stars! Pffff! My precious! Since when did four stars mark achievement in the hospitality and culinary field! Never, my precious, never! Why doesn't we just take the precious?
The fat hobbit would hurt usss, hurt us preciousss!
Why doesn't we hurt HIM? HA! Everything HURTS. Our poor feet are aching away, and ours hands, our HANDS, preciousss! They're burnsing all day because we has to run around after master and his friend.
Anyway, who says it's such a nice hotel? Hmm? Who says? Last time we went there, the hotel manager wasn't so much running an efficient business as running a circus of DOOM! In what other hotel has we ever been chained to a rack?
It wasn't a nice cushy bed?
No, precious. If the hobbitses think we're going to spend OUR money on this ridiculous notion, they're SADLY MISTAKEN, my precious.
...What's that? Oh it's the fat hobbit shouting again.
I think we must go, precious.
Pffff! We ought to stab OUT HIS EYESES.
Love, Gollumxxxxxx
and smeagolxxxxx _________________
~~Siggy by Lembas~~
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Post subject: Posted: April 18th, 2009, 12:00 am |
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Joined: 05 October 2007
Posts: 4746
Country: 
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That. Was. Hilarious.
It's amazing! Write more please!
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Post subject: Posted: April 18th, 2009, 2:21 pm |
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Joined: 02 July 2008
Posts: 2675
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Goldie, I bow to your awesomeness. 
"Dear Our Diary" _________________ 
i'm back for a little! i'll see how this visit goes.
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Post subject: Posted: April 18th, 2009, 2:50 pm |
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Joined: 18 October 2007
Posts: 4502
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Thank you, Nia and Silvery! 
~~~
Dear Our Diary,
The fat one is getting on our nerves, precious. What should we do to him, precious, my love? Gouge out his eyeses? Take out his eyeses, and make HIM lead the way to nasty hotel!
Fat one told us he'd bake Slinker cake for his next meal. What did he mean by that? Then fat hobbit said he'd make Stinker gravy for second course. Do you suppose it's tasty, precious?
Probably not, precious. All nasstyy fat hobbit's foodses are HORRIBLE and they CHOKESES us, my precious!
Yesss, nasstyyy choking. Not nice, precious.
And when will we reach this hotel, anyways? I wonders if that nasstyyy hotel manager will be there again... He didn't smell very nice, precious.
No, not very nice. But when we pointed it outs to him he said we didn't exactly smell like a basket of roses.
CHEEK! Basket of roses? My precious!
Anyway, doesn't we have to go now? We doesn't want nasty hobbit to shout at us.
Oh, you're always grovelling to them, isn't you? I'll tell you again what we should does... first, take pointy hobbit sword, and aim for the eyes, and...
Oh, we really does have to go. Will write more soon. Love, Gollumxxx
and smeagolxxx _________________
~~Siggy by Lembas~~
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Post subject: Posted: April 18th, 2009, 4:25 pm |
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Joined: 07 October 2006
Posts: 292
Location: In the snow.
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Brilliant.
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Post subject: Posted: April 21st, 2009, 10:08 pm |
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Joined: 08 October 2006
Posts: 4629
Location: Imladris
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Gender: Female
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Oh, very funny. _________________
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Post subject: Posted: April 21st, 2009, 10:37 pm |
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Joined: 05 October 2007
Posts: 4746
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Post subject: Posted: April 23rd, 2009, 12:29 pm |
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Joined: 18 October 2007
Posts: 4502
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Hehe, it's nice to have fans of my mad Gollum and Smeagol ramblings
~~~
Dear Our Diary,
We're sick of trailing around after nasstyy hobbits. They has our preciouss, and we have to run abouts after them. What about OUR plans, hmm, preciouss, my love? What abouts the planss WE had?
What were our plans, preciouss?
Trail about after hobbitss, hoping to steal the precious.
Isn't that what we're doing now, preciouss?
Well...
.....
SHUT UP!
Yes preciouss!! Don't hurt Smeagol, poor, poor, poor, poor Smeagol! He grovels and tries his best, yes he does, he does precious! AIIEEEEEEEERRRARUUUUAAARRRRRR!
Oh shut up precious.
Yes precious.
What if... we led the hobbitses... to the nasstyy tour guide of the tunnel?
We doesn't want to see her again. She promised she wouldn't eat us because we smells like garbage, yes we does precious.
FOOL! She could kill the hobbitses for us and we takes back the preciouss. No hobbitses, no nasstyy hotel to hunt for. No nasstyy hotel manager that chainses us in dungeons.
It sounds very risky, precious.
Well I'M the one in charge, precious, and doesn't you want the preciouss back, my love?
Yes, I doesss. For meeee!
For us.
Yes, precious.
We has to go now but we shall write more about this.
Love Gollumxxxxxx
and smeagolxxxxxxxxxxxx _________________
~~Siggy by Lembas~~
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