[color] Dear friends,
Lately, I feel you don't appreciate me. That's why I'm writing this letter to point out my opinions on the way I've been treated of late - treatment which, I feel, is unfair.
To you, I'm just the evil guy who gets what he deserves. Am I so despicable?! Aren't I a loveable guy?! Really, what gets me, is the way in which whenever my name is mentioned, people instantly boo and hiss and throws cans at my head. Well, Eye.
Even my minions don't like me. You think the orcs who climb up my tower to give me my cheese and onion crisps are my friends? How wrong could you be! They only obey me because they know if they don't, I'll destroy them. In my view, this is completely wrong.
Also! Everyone thinks that where I live is ugly because of the streams of molten lava and nasty orc pits. I thought I'd done a good job decorating. Hadn't I? It turns out behind my back, everyone was saying they hated the decor. Way to make me feel loved, eh? Don't you know my single flaming red Eye weeps itself to sleep at night?
No one ever buys me birthday presents. In fact, I doubt if anyone actually knows when my birthday is. People refuse to reply to my letters because I keep declaring war on them. Don't they know it's just little old me having fun? Can't they take a small joke?
Finally, and this is where my letter will end; I think I must be the loneliest giant Eye in all of Middle Earth. If you got to know me, I'm sure you'd like me. But no one wants to get to know me because I'm corrupt and evil. Well, excuse me!
I shall say farewell now, but I hope you have taken my words into consideration.
Yours Tearfully and Balefully,
The Dark Lord Sauron.
xxx [color=red]
~~~
Haha, I couldn't resist. I just imagined a lonely, thoroughly annoyed Dark Lord and typed away.
Hope you enjoyed it. 
goldyxxx
