There use to be a joke thread on some forums I go to all the time, and just thought it would be a good idea to make one here. Everyone go ahead and post some good ones. I'll start.

19 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity,>
>
>
> 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a
> Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
> 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
> 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries
> with that.
> 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It 'In.'
> 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten
> Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
> 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write 'For Smuggling Diamonds'
> 7. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy.'
> 8. Don t use any punctuation
> 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
> 10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat with a serious face.
> 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go.'
> 12. Sing Along At The Opera
> 13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme
> 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play tropical Sounds
> All Day.
> 15. Five Days In Advance , Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their
> Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
> 16. Have Your Coworkers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
> 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won!, I Won!'
> 18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling
> 'Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!'
> 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To
> Have To Let One Of You Go.'

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Sig by Legolas

"What? In riddles? No! For I was talking aloud to myself. A habit of the old: they choose the wisest person present to speak to." -Gandalf

i love your joke Erkenhelm

This is one of Frankie BOyle's jokes (i apologize if it offends )
“I lost my virginity to my mum’s best friend. It was my dad. It was the only time he told me he loved me!”

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The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return

Two friends, (we'll call them Bob and Ralph to make this easier to understand ) were sitting at a bar one night having a drink.

Bob tells Ralph "I'm tired of not having an education. Tomorrow I'm going to go down to the community college and sign up for some classes"
Ralph says "That's a good idea, let me know how it goes tomorrow night."

So the next day Bob goes to the college and talks to the dean. The dean signs him up for the 4 basic classes: English, Math, History, and Logic.

"Logic?" Bob asks, "What's that?"

The dean says "I'll show you. Do you own a weed eater?"
Bob - "Yes."
Dean - "Then logically speaking, you should have a lawn."
Bob - "Yes, I do."
Dean - "And if you have a lawn, then logically you should have a house."
Bob - "I do have a house."
Dean -"And if you have a house, then logically speaking, you probably have a family. And if you have a family, you must be a heterosexual."
Bob - "Wow that's amazing. You were able to figure all of that out just by knowing that I own a weed eater!"

So Bob leaves the college feeling excited for his classes the next day and heads to the bar to meet Ralph.

They're sitting at the bar together and Ralph asks "So how'd it go at the college?" Bob tells him "It went great. The dean signed me up for the 4 basic classes: English, Math, History, and Logic."
Ralph - "Logic? What's that?"
Bob - "Do you own a weed eater?""
Ralph - "No."
Bob - "Then you're a homosexual."



Hope that's in a readable format. I cracked up when I first heard this one enjoy!

_________________

Sig by Legolas

"What? In riddles? No! For I was talking aloud to myself. A habit of the old: they choose the wisest person present to speak to." -Gandalf

Watching Mock The Week, loling majorly. One of my favourite jokes (not in exact words)

Hugh Dennis: When i was 15, i only had hair on one side of my chest.

Frankie Boyle: You know what that means. You're a freak!

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The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return