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~ Kaj
For Bitter or Worse
What do you say when it's all over
What do you do when it's all gone
What do you do when you get lost inside your soul
Where do we go when love's gone
What do you say nothing at all
Endless plains of water, as far as the eye could see. For weeks the
Devil's Hoard had sailed on open waters, and for weeks Kaj Gray wandered on the quarter deck; thinking and staring at the, seemingly infinite, masses of grey water. Ever since Jimmy died, Kaj had fled to this spot of silence and solitude, unable to be around other and to avoid his brother.
Surely Garrett had noticed his change in behaviour as well, realising that his brother blamed him for the death of James; even the men knew something was going on. But Garrett had covered the incident up as an accident, and quickly had distracted the crew's attention with a new raid on Nassau. Plundering and killing was the only thing the pirates cared about, so with the spoils of plunder aboard, the crew soon favoured the Captain over his equally feared brother, in whatever silent quarrel there was going on.
Kaj watched how a bloody sun sank in the ocean. The peaceful scene couldn’t contrast his confused and depressed thoughts more. Somehow flashes of Jimmy’s death continued to pop up in his head. Slowly, all the images played like a movie in his head. The quarrel, Garret stabbing his younger brother in the back, blood, blood everywhere as Kaj tried to save little James..
But his brother’s death was not the only thing that was on Kaj’s mind. Whether it was triggered by shock or emotion, he couldn’t help but thinking of all those, that had been killed by his hand. Yes.. he had killed many. Men, women, little boys, infants, without mercy, without purpose. A strange feeling had welled up inside him, grabbing him by the throat and suffocating him. He felt..remorse. He was genuinely sorry for the horrible deeds he’d done. But there was nothing that could make everything undone. All those innocent lives had been lost, and that was on his account.
And for what? What had they been doing these past years? How had he been able to become such a monster?
For many days he’d now isolated himself from the others of the crew, these thoughts weighing heavy on his heart.. But the more he thought and turned, Kaj slowly came to realise that there’s was only one thing he could do. Change his life radically, repent and use all that had been done for evil, now for good.
And although a little voice in the back of his head screamed for retribution, he’d made up his mind. Would he then commit the same crime of which he accused his brother? No, he would renounce violence, leave the ship as soon they would go ashore and-.
“Kaj!”
Kaj woke up from his thoughts, and recognised the voice of his brother, who sounded excited. He usually did whenever he’d thought of another cruel plan. As Kaj descended to the main deck, the sound of jeering and shouting of the crew grew louder, ascertaining Kaj, that his brother was up to something. As soon as he got clear sight of the main deck, he knew what. Garrett was surrounded by half of the crew, while a young girl was trying to break free from his grasp. Her face was tearstained and her dress was ragged and aside of that’s she looked quite scared and in panic, she was overall very pretty.
“What is the meaning of this?” Kaj demanded, his voice as cold as ice, as he eyed his elder brother. With his emotions closer to the surface than usual, he couldn’t help but feel a burning hatred for his brother and pity for the girl.
“This?” Garrett answered with a wicked voice and lust in his eyes. “This is a little souvenir I brought from Naussau. You may have a go after I finish with her, it will help you to get your
old self back.” The men jeered and shouted as Garret planted a possessive kiss on the girl’s lips.
“No..” Kaj answered soft but threateningly. “We will let her go, unharmed.” The men had fallen silent, and awaited excitedly how the Captain’s wrath would pour over the first mate.
“Is there something wrong little brother?” Garrett hissed, his eyes narrowed to slits. His amused countenance had changed in one of anger. “Don’t you like my methods any longer? Are you too good to obey my orders?”
“F*ck you.. and f*ck your methods.” Kaj growled, unable to control his anger anymore. “Your methods got Jimmy killed!”
Garret became as pale as death and his voice trembled with anger as he spoke. “You dare to falsely accuse your Captain and to disobey orders? What for traitorous schemes have you been making up last weeks?
Traitor! But we know what to do, don’t we men?”
In a flash of a second Kaj had drawn his gun, but was no use. Half of the crew had interpreted their Captain’s words as a signal to attack Kaj, who was by no means able to defend himself. He fell on the deck, receiving blows from all sides. An immense pain spread throughout his body as the pirates tried to kick him, wherever they could. He cried out in agony; wishing that it would stop. But in the state of half-consciousness, a small voice whispered in his ear the he had deserved this. That it was only a fraction of the punishment that awaited him, after the Last Judgement.
His body was limp and all Kaj could feel was pain. He lay curled up in a ball, hoping that it would stop. That all would stop.
Kaj didn’t realise that he was lifted, until he hit the ice cold water. The pain. The cold. Endless plains of water, as far as the eye could see. His body slowly submerged and Kaj did not even realise that this was the place where he would die.</center>
