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Post subject: A BAD poem i wrote  Posted: March 25th, 2006, 7:56 am |
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Joined: 31 December 2005
Posts: 3506
Location: Hell.
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A Haze On Reality
A haze on reality
Mystic blue eyes
Gaze deep into mine
Moon stare
Fatal glare
Crying on the shoulder of reality
A haze on reality
-----------------------------------------------
Ok, heres another - took me 5 seconds.
Playing in the Snow
Spiralling deep out of society
Dissolusioning reality
Cheating mortality
Creating serenity
Losing our dignity
We play in the snow
(v. bad poem i know!)
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Post subject: Posted: March 25th, 2006, 8:01 am |
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Joined: 15 March 2006
Posts: 4107
Location: The Square! LOL!
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Their good, I think I know which boy the first ones about! The second one is clever!
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Post subject: Posted: March 25th, 2006, 1:17 pm |
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Joined: 31 December 2005
Posts: 3506
Location: Hell.
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it's about william moseley actually!
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Post subject: Posted: March 26th, 2006, 6:43 am |
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Joined: 05 January 2006
Posts: 4689
Location: Somewhere dark... *glowy red eyes*
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So is it a "haze on reality" cos he'll probably never even meet you?
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Post subject: Posted: March 26th, 2006, 6:48 am |
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Joined: 31 December 2005
Posts: 3506
Location: Hell.
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yep - you got it girl!
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Post subject: Posted: March 27th, 2006, 3:53 pm |
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Joined: 15 March 2006
Posts: 4107
Location: The Square! LOL!
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Oh I thought it was the "other" blue-eyed boy-God I'm obsessed!
Its still good tho!
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Post subject: Posted: March 27th, 2006, 3:56 pm |
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Joined: 21 March 2006
Posts: 1137
Location: The Netherlands - Europe
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Jikes! That ís a bad poem  exactly as the title said, by the way. So I guess there's nothing wrong in it. _________________ 
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Post subject: Posted: March 27th, 2006, 5:24 pm |
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Joined: 31 December 2005
Posts: 3506
Location: Hell.
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wrong in what?
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Post subject: Posted: March 28th, 2006, 1:11 pm |
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Joined: 15 March 2006
Posts: 4107
Location: The Square! LOL!
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Eyalan wrote: Jikes! That ís a bad poem exactly as the title said, by the way. So I guess there's nothing wrong in it. I thought it was good, but some didn't rhyme well!
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Post subject: Posted: March 28th, 2006, 1:53 pm |
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Joined: 31 December 2005
Posts: 3506
Location: Hell.
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it wasn't sposed to rhyme btw. only Moon stare, fatal glare
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Post subject: Posted: March 28th, 2006, 3:05 pm |
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Joined: 15 March 2006
Posts: 4107
Location: The Square! LOL!
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No the PLaying in the Snow one!
Only CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISM ALLOWED No NASTY COMMENTS!
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Post subject: Posted: March 28th, 2006, 3:34 pm |
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Joined: 31 December 2005
Posts: 3506
Location: Hell.
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that one wasn't realy meant to either, only they all were sposed to finish in ty.
Quotes Susan: 'you know that doesn't really rhyme...'
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Post subject: Posted: March 28th, 2006, 3:36 pm |
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Joined: 15 March 2006
Posts: 4107
Location: The Square! LOL!
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Oh, erm... wots it called... Poetic lisence!
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Post subject: Posted: March 28th, 2006, 3:42 pm |
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Joined: 31 December 2005
Posts: 3506
Location: Hell.
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hmmmm... i dont have much of that... i'm good at doing like normal joyful poems but not sad ones
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Post subject: Posted: March 28th, 2006, 3:45 pm |
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Joined: 15 March 2006
Posts: 4107
Location: The Square! LOL!
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Poetic License is when u can change rules to fit ure poem like word endings, sentence structure etc.
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