Well done, though I'd check for typos.
Very good wording and flow. If you have or ever get an Allpoetry account, let me know. I'll add you to my favorites list. 
| Arwen-Undomiel.com http://www.arwen-undomiel.com/forum/ |
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| My Secret thing. http://www.arwen-undomiel.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=48&t=13431 |
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| Author: | Jax Nova [ January 6th, 2007, 2:12 pm ] |
| Post subject: | My Secret thing. |
"My Secret Thing" A flamboyant explanation only curbs the expectation, Of this elquent design on a surface facing sign. An entourage can't take away this fleeting pain inside, Corrosion of emotions only fuels the times I've cried. Instability eats at the heart of me in this elusion, While sit in solitude and feel for one to touch. But it's all an elaborate scheme to inhanse my confusion, This internal battle of outward things that hurts inside so much. I need something real that I can hold on to, A place to go to be along with only us and You. A feeling of solitude in a crowd moving in and through, Something that has always been but is so very new. Hold me father holding it deep inside my heart, Comfort me comforting it and see to all our needs. Promise me promising it we will never be apart, Bleed for me as I would bleed for it here as it bleeds. Now take me. Take me away and I'll take it away. Hold me. Hold me so I can hold it and wait until that day. |
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| Author: | Witch_King_of_Angmar [ January 6th, 2007, 6:31 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Good as a song and poem! Excellent. |
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| Author: | FRODOFAN [ January 8th, 2007, 10:13 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Well done, though I'd check for typos. Very good wording and flow. If you have or ever get an Allpoetry account, let me know. I'll add you to my favorites list.
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| Author: | Jax Nova [ January 10th, 2007, 1:57 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thanks for the comments. 
And FRODOFAN I don't have one of those... not sure what they are. (although I am assuming it's a poetry forum) ButI am on a poetry forum called http://forum.poetryconnection.net Asside from that, christianteenforums.com, and my book that's the only place I have got my poetry yet. lol |
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| Author: | FRODOFAN [ January 10th, 2007, 2:50 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I'll check out that forum. Yes, Allpoetry is a huge community. It's incredibly addictive also. Check out my page and you can see how it works: http://www.allpoetry.com/frodofan They have contests and groups. You get lots of feedback and can comment on other people's poems too. |
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| Author: | Jax Nova [ January 11th, 2007, 1:00 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Sounds cool. I will have to check it out.
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| Author: | Ms.Gamgee [ January 17th, 2007, 4:57 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Wow, excellent, it's just....very very good, I don't know what else to say. Awsome job. |
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| Author: | Jax Nova [ January 18th, 2007, 7:46 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thanks.
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| Author: | ~*ArwenEvenstar*~ [ February 2nd, 2007, 9:08 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Awesome job again, Jax. I really like how this one flows. |
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| Author: | Jax Nova [ February 3rd, 2007, 3:36 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thanks... Again. lol
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| Author: | pip&leggyluvr [ February 5th, 2007, 11:58 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
wow. this one is....idk, diff. in sum way, from the ones that u usually write....i like it.... a lot. As usual, of course. lol i'm not just saying that, though...i rlly rlly like this one...idk....there's just sumthing about it.... |
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| Author: | Jax Nova [ February 5th, 2007, 2:40 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thanks pip. And yeah it is a bit different from my others.. not sure how to explain it but it is... lol *shrugs* |
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