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| Lost...and Found (short story) http://www.arwen-undomiel.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=48&t=13765 |
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| Author: | ethelfleda [ January 25th, 2007, 11:15 am ] |
| Post subject: | Lost...and Found (short story) |
Lost...and Found I’d been gone for three days when they found me. I was lying right in the middle of the big field where the big kids play football in the summer. The nice policeman with the big moustache said that a lot of people had been looking for me, but I say they can’t have been looking very hard because I wasn’t really trying to hide. I told the policeman that he must be very bad at hide-and-seek, but he just laughed and said he’d better take me back to my mummy and daddy. Mum was very angry and shouted lots. She said I was “disobedient” and “an attention seeker” and that I only ran away so that everyone would have to take time off work to come and look for me. I don’t think Mum liked me very much. One night when she thought I was in bed, I heard her tell Daddy that I was “a pain in the ass” (I know that’s a naughty word, but I’m using quote marks and that means that I’m only saying what she said so I’m allowed to say it – Mrs Taylor said so). Daddy told her that was a nasty thing to say, but Mum never admits she’s wrong, so she didn’t say anything after that. After Mum had finished shouting, Daddy picked me up and gave me a big hug. I could see he wanted to cry because his eyes looked all wet and shiny and I could see my reflection in them. Men aren’t allowed to cry though, so I cried for him. I cried so hard that snot came out of my nose and went on his shirt, but he didn’t mind because he loves me very much. I know that because he tells me every night when he thinks I’m asleep. I’m not asleep though, because I wait up especially, just to hear him say it. I don’t know why they made such a big fuss really. It’s not like I broke a law or hurt myself or anything – I just went away for a few days. Mum used to do it all the time and I didn’t shout or nearly cry. Daddy did though. On the way home, Daddy let me sit on his shoulders. I don’t think Mum liked it because she was pulling her cross face and muttering under her breath about “rewarding bad behaviour”. Daddy ignored her and didn’t put me down until we got home. Then he made me fish fingers with smiley faces and spaghetti hoops, which is my favourite meal ever. He made me go to bed straight after, but I didn’t like that because I knew that meant something bad was going to happen the next day. In the morning, Mum let me eat breakfast in my pyjamas because she said she didn’t want me spilling food on my clothes. Then she made me put on my smart skirt and the itchy cardigan that Grandma knitted for me and Mum always makes me wear on special occasions. Daddy gave me a kiss on the forehead and said that everything would be okay, and then we got in the car and drove across town to a big old house that looked like it would have ghosts in the roof. We got out of the car and Mum walked straight in without knocking. I thought it was rude to just walk into someone else’s house but Daddy said it wasn’t a house, it was kind of like a doctor’s surgery. I don’t like doctors, so I started to cry and ran back to the car, but Daddy picked me up and carried me inside. Mum was already sat on a hard plastic chair, and Daddy went and sat next to her with me on his lap. A voice came from nowhere and asked Mum and Daddy to go into Doctor Hopkins’ office. I held onto Daddy’s arm because I didn’t want him to go, but Mum pulled my hands away and dragged Daddy down a corridor. I didn’t see where they went because a pretty lady with high heels and short hair came and gave me a jigsaw, but it had three pieces missing so I couldn’t do it. After a long time, Mum and Daddy came out and it was their turn to try and do the jigsaw with the missing pieces while I had to go and talk to Doctor Hopkins. There was a big word written on his desk in shiny gold letters, but I couldn’t read what it said because it looked like the letters were all in the wrong order. I thought he must be very stupid if he couldn’t spell properly, but he was wearing glasses so then I thought he must be smart. That made me very confused, and I started to cry. Doctor Hopkins just gave me a big hanky for me to blow my nose on and waited for me to stop crying. Then he asked me lots of questions about why I’d run away. It felt like a test, except I didn’t know if I was giving the right answers or not. I told him how it feels nice to lie down for so long that I can feel the grass growing in the spaces between my fingers, and it feels nice to stare at the sky making shapes out of the clouds, and it feels nice to try and count the stars even though there are too many to count, even in a million billion years. It helps me forget about all the shouting at home and the nasty girls that laugh at me at school and the thousands of thoughts that spin round my head all the time and won’t leave me alone. I don’t think Doctor Hopkins listened very carefully though, because when Mum and Daddy came back in the room, he didn’t tell them anything that I’d told him. He used a lot of words that I don’t understand, but they must have been bad because Mum started to cry. That scared me, because I thought maybe there really was something wrong with me. Maybe the doctor had told her I was sick or something. Maybe... But I didn’t want to think about that. I couldn’t die, because then I’d never get to play with Sally Martin’s doll’s house. And if I did die, there’d be no one to look after Daddy. Mum and Daddy didn’t say anything in the car after we left the doctor’s, not even to tell me off for sucking my thumb. The quietness didn’t last though. When we got home, they started shouting at each other, and I think it might have been about me. Mum and Daddy were always shouting, but for the first time Daddy seemed to be winning the argument. I didn’t want to hear what they were saying, so I just lay on my bed and watched the peaks on the ceiling turn into snowy mountains. I imagined little people climbing those mountains, and I wished I was as small as them so that next time I ran away, nobody would ever find me. Finally, the mountains grew dark and the tiny climbers disappeared, leaving me behind. Just as I began to fall asleep, wondering why Daddy hadn’t come up, I heard the door open and someone came in. I screwed my eyes tight shut and pretended to be asleep, but even without looking I knew that it was Mum who was now kneeling next to my bed. She held my hand and I felt her tears soak my bed sheets. She stayed with me for what felt like ages, then at last she whispered the words I used to hear in my dreams – “I’m sorry. I know things are difficult, but I love you.” Suddenly I didn’t want to run away anymore. |
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