Nicely done, as said above nice word choices.
I liked the flow as well. There were a few spots it seemed a bit rough to me, but that might just be me.
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| Death of a Dream http://www.arwen-undomiel.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=48&t=16022 |
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| Author: | Witch_King_of_Angmar [ July 24th, 2007, 1:59 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Death of a Dream |
Inverse lines, the lies of mine, Death of a dream, with much malign, The death across the old streamline, My love, with no goodbyes, Inverse lines, the lies of mine. Siren ringing, the call of longing, Death of a dream, no longer belonging, The death among the warmongering, Their hate, with no reprieve, Siren ringing, the call of longing. Obeisance given, the submission of heaven, Death of a dream, out was love driven, The death outside by those beriven, My loss, with no last glance, Obeisance given, the submission of heaven. The thunder hallows the impure night, I hope someone will set things aright, Because I will beg rightly At the feet of the almighty, For my dream to live. |
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| Author: | JC802 [ July 26th, 2007, 1:46 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
that's a really good poem...you used an excellent since of wording |
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| Author: | Jax Nova [ July 26th, 2007, 5:35 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Nicely done, as said above nice word choices. I liked the flow as well. There were a few spots it seemed a bit rough to me, but that might just be me.
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