*shuffles into thread, eyes downcast*
Sooo... I have been writing fanfics for a while, but I've only been posting them on fanfic.net. I thought, just recently, that maybe it'd be a good idea to post one of my best works [in my opinion at least
] here. I very much value your opinions and constructive criticism so please don't be too stingy.
TITLE: What Do You See?
RATING: PG
OTHER: Angsty/Dramatic -- intended to be set during Order of the Phoenix
It was past midnight at number 12 Grimmauld Place, and the dark corridors and rooms were silent as people slumbered. The fire in the great hearth had gone out hours ago, and the last sounds of life in the old house had ceased long before that. Mrs.Black snored lightly from behind her black drapes in the entrance hall, and Kreacher scurried about quietly in the attic searching for household relics that had not yet been thrown out. Even Sirius, who normally slept as a dog curled up on the hearthrug, had fallen asleep on the lumpy couch, a firewhiskey bottle still in his left hand. Hermione was there too, slumped in a chair by the grate, a book slipping off her lap and the candle next to her burned nearly to a stub. At that moment the only source of movement and light was coming from the small basement kitchen where Remus Lupin had lit a match and was proceeding to light the burner on the cooker in order to boil water for tea.
Unlike other wizards, he enjoyed doing things the Muggle way every once in a while, just for the thrill.
As the water began to boil Remus looked irritably out the small kitchen window, coated in grime, at the waxing moon. It shone brightly tonight, which reminded Remus of the reason he was really up at that time. It seemed that he was always more restless before a full moon, causing him to have almost sleepless nights. The terrible bags under his eyes and the greying of his hair were definite testimonies to such nights. He absentmindedly rubbed his temple and closed his eyes for a moment.
“Do ya have enough tea for two in there?” a female’s tired voice asked.
Remus broke out of his reverie, opened his grey eyes, and put on a tired smile, “Oh, Tonks… I didn’t hear you come in. I’ve got plenty of tea here.”
The young woman smiled warmly back, crossed her arms over her chest, and yawned sleepily as she waited for her tea.
Remus turned off the gas, took out two chipped mugs (remembering to turn them upside down in case a creature had made its home there) and poured some steaming, brown tea for the two of them. He handed one mug to Tonks who took a long sip from it, her eyes closed. She let out a low sigh.
“Thanks dear,” she said quietly, clutching the mug close with two hands as if its heat would keep her warm from some chill in the room.
“Not a problem. So… eh, why are you up so late?” Remus asked, looking down at his threadbare house slippers and then taking a sip of tea.
“I was thinking…” Tonks hesitated,” about us. About Bill and Fleur’s marriage, well… really about marriage in general.” She waved her hand in non-committed manner
Remus butted in knowing full well where this conversation would lead, “Nymphadora, you know I’m -”
“-too old, too poor, to dangerous for me. Yes, I know. And don’t call me that name” she snapped, then sighed again, “Remus, those excuses are nothing. I don’t care what people will say, as long as we love each other, we’ll be happy,” a frustrated edge appeared in Tonks’ voice, “I can’t stand us being apart Remus! I just want to be with you! Why can’t I be a part of your life?”
Remus was silent for a moment letting her words sink in whilst forming his own reply. He pulled Tonks into a one armed embrace. “ I just don’t understand… What do you see in me?”
Tonks looked up with a near shocked expression etched on her face as if she couldn’t believe he had actually asked such a question.
“I see a tired man that the world has taken its toll on. He has been unloved and shunned most of his life, and he hopes that one day someone will see him for who he truly is on the inside, not for what he has become on the outside,” Tonks paused, pulling out of his tight hold slightly, a desperate plea in her eyes “I am that someone Remus! Why won’t you accept me?”
Remus was silent once again, torn between his love for the woman standing before him, and for her safety; safety from himself. They'd never be able to have children, and he hoped she knew that. What if he were to harm her whilst in his werewolf form? Or worse yet, what if he killed her? Tears threatened to flow at that thought, and he quickly banished it, swiping the sleeve of his bathrobe across his eyes. Finally he looked at her beautiful face that was twisted with sadness and confusion, “I’m sorry,” he whispered.
The sadness was replaced quickly by anger as Tonks’ eyes flashed, and glistened as hot tears brimmed, and began to roll down her cheeks. Her unhappiness was a perfect contrast against her glowing bubble gum pink hair.
“You always are,” she whispered icily into his ear.
Then she kissed him lightly on the lips, her hand trailing down his cheek and around his neck. She was pushing herself closer than he wanted; dangerously close. He didn’t want to put her in that kind of situation. They couldn’t be together and he knew it. She let go of him abruptly upon realising he would not return the fervor with which she kissed him. Pushing the half-empty mug into his free hand she turned on her heel and was gone, just as abruptly as she had appeared.
Remus stood rooted to the spot for a moment as the kiss and Tonks’ gentle touch washed over his body leaving his lips tingling, his throat tight, and a feeling of longing in the pit of his stomach that was slowly spreading. No one had ever touched him that way in his life. No one had ever wanted to talk to him either, much less touch him. Sighing, he dumped the mugs in the kitchen sink, having lost his appetite for anything, watching the brown liquid form swirls and patterns before slipping down the drain.
Just like my life, Remus thought sadly.
He sat down at the table, closed his weary eyes, and put his head in his hands.
Why did the world have to be so troublesome?
Did you host a fan fiction contest a while back? I think you may have seen it then. I've updated it since then though. *le nod*