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Four Sonnets (02 Added) http://www.arwen-undomiel.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=48&t=20380 |
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Author: | Witch_King_of_Angmar [ August 28th, 2009, 6:32 pm ] |
Post subject: | Four Sonnets (02 Added) |
Sonnet 01 The sun sets on (for us or them I don't know) a sleepy green world that is electric. And you don't know to feel your hand and face, Be held in those lights, hold you here, electric. Our lips brush. You whisper thunder and what I know is lightning (who crawls down my spine and grabs inside) that I call love. He comes from your pale skin, so soft in intimacy. I(you) don't want to wake up from (if we do someday I can't see) you(me) together in this sleepy green world that is alive from each shiver and breath of desire that comes (even one caress under a changing star) from the blue nights and love electric. Sonnet 02 What can I say to you when the sky is black (to you) when the sky is cold and I can't speak a word then. The sky is silent and in the water a moon is (silent) watching with the black moss in the trees decayed. All the world (is with me and you) is in a shade of charcoal noise and love and color that will not fade or bleed away (it won't). Evey second is unsaid and I can't say a word then why would I speak (whisper) and break it why would this moment end or (would I speak) the simple silent air to be broken when the world is held by you (you). And what thunder could break what is held by you? Sonnet 03 The morning sun is good (and moon) and its fingers stretch towards me. And it is so good (beautiful) when it touches when warmth and life and breath all come together there. You are so good (O green world!) this day your hours like many branches of a tree who (moving in a breeze) hide a secret moment of truth of love (a laugh I've never thought before, hiding). The evening moon is (me) numbing. It is light and broken glass shattered that crosses me with stretching fingers. All of it is so good and I must sing out and shout (aloud) a shifting song of shadows and lights walking over you (O green world!). Sonnet 04 Crying night I'm feeling you (you're feeling me) You're diluting me with light (with bleeding noise a bleeding light (You so alive and warm and pulsing) who burns when it pulses in me. O morning sun O northern star O your hand your blazing fingers so soft they fall with mine they blend together (dilute each other). Why is the world so loud tonight (through you)? Tonight in the dark night that is you (me)? Why creeps the world between us, the day into this perfect (our blazing fingers touch (sleep) that we hide ourselves (we drown ourselves) in loving clouds of starlight, that we cover ourselves in love slipping from the crying night? |
Author: | Mornie utulie [ August 28th, 2009, 9:50 pm ] |
Post subject: | |
Touching. I have to say the first one is almost liquid (although a little more chaotic and overlapping emotions), it makes the reader (or at least me) feel contemplative but not in a normal sense, I love the fact that it is not linear. The second is a lot more overwhelming with emotion, and more chaotic, the fire imagery expressing passion wonderfully... I have to say I like the first one more only because the contrast of emotion in the second is only too familiar to me but overlooking my own emotions (that don't quite matter to you, the author) the second one is absolutely amazing. |
Author: | Witch_King_of_Angmar [ August 31st, 2009, 10:18 pm ] |
Post subject: | |
Mornie utulie wrote: Touching.
I have to say the first one is almost liquid (although a little more chaotic and overlapping emotions), it makes the reader (or at least me) feel contemplative but not in a normal sense, I love the fact that it is not linear. The second is a lot more overwhelming with emotion, and more chaotic, the fire imagery expressing passion wonderfully... I have to say I like the first one more only because the contrast of emotion in the second is only too familiar to me but overlooking my own emotions (that don't quite matter to you, the author) the second one is absolutely amazing. Thank you very much! ![]() The second one isn't really a love poem, per se, it's also oriented around the emotions nature causes as the first, but a little left over infatuation got mixed in their and made the whole thing turn into a rather crazy meditation on both. ![]() |
Author: | Mornie utulie [ September 1st, 2009, 3:54 pm ] |
Post subject: | |
if you ask me I'm all for an overdose of emotion ^.^ plus...nature could always force herself through to love-related affairs and it makes a great way to describe obstacles without sounding redundant |
Author: | Witch_King_of_Angmar [ September 7th, 2009, 4:32 pm ] |
Post subject: | |
I added the first one that I dug up... |
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