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| Dreaming http://www.arwen-undomiel.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=48&t=22382 |
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| Author: | Freya Baggins [ October 22nd, 2012, 2:10 am ] |
| Post subject: | Dreaming |
AN: I never did post this on here, though I meant to. Dreaming ~ A Boromir Drabble Pain and crushing blackness surrounded Boromir as the arrow struck. He tried to run, but found himself on the ground. Everything was moving as if time itself had slowed down. His eyes fell on two people, yet they weren’t people… they were Halflings. Then blackness began to engulf him and vision came in snatches. A king, dying, a boat, then a roaring filled his ears and water tumbled him over and over until… Young Boromir sat up in bed with a jolt, breathing heavily. Flinging his covers back, he slid out of bed and padded out of the room and down the hall to his father’s chambers. Tentatively he knocked on the door and was surprised when his father’s voice replied and invited him in. He found Denathor sitting in his bed, a heavy tome open in his lap, pouring over old texts. “Father, I did not wish to wake you, but this dream has occurred for several nights now and has disturbed me greatly.” “Explain.” Denathor looked at his son quizzically. Boromir told his dream to his father, who looked at him sympathetically. “Son, it was just a dream. When I was young I used to dream of being consumed by fire and madness. And neither has happened.” Feeling reassured, Boromir thanked his father and went back to bed. But he still couldn’t shake the feeling that the dream was somehow a premonition, and neither could Denathor. |
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| Author: | Ellie [ October 22nd, 2012, 4:49 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Dreaming |
The idea is good enough, but I think your writing could use work - it's overly cliched and you write in 'block phrases'. Work on creating your own metaphors instead of using tried and tested ones - that way your writing will come alive. |
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