Arwen-Undomiel.com
http://www.arwen-undomiel.com/forum/

If I Was A Queen....
http://www.arwen-undomiel.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=48&t=22814		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Thalionwen [ November 13th, 2013, 6:35 pm ]
Post subject:  If I Was A Queen....
If I was a queen
I would no longer weep
If I was a queen
No more would I sweep
For all the day long do I care for the king
And all the night long of queen do I dream
I know it sounds foolish
From way up there
But to I YOU look foolish
From way down here
If I was a queen they would think no such things
For only my kindness
They would lift up and sing
So now am I queen
At least in my dreams.
So what do you all think? I'm only thirteen but I would like to know if it sounds stupid or lame. Be honest with me, I plan on showing this to a lot of people. Thanks guys. :-D :lol:
Author:  Feanor [ November 16th, 2013, 10:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If I Was A Queen....
It's not bad. Though the first 2 lines are kinda silly... I mean, /everyone/ goes through hard times, even people in high places. ;)

But you're off to a good start. :)
Author:  Thalionwen [ November 17th, 2013, 4:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If I Was A Queen....
Ok, you're right there. It's just like a figure of speach, that this person who's saying this believes that it'd be better as queen. Because she doesn't know that it's hard too. She just wants to be higher up than the servant of the king. But yeah, I'll have to work on that. Thanks for the imput. :D
Author:  Feanor [ November 22nd, 2013, 6:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If I Was A Queen....
Ahh, ok. So she's kind of ignorant. :P
You're welcome. XD I can't wait to see what else you come up with. :)
Author:  Thalionwen [ November 23rd, 2013, 12:54 am ]
Post subject:  Re: If I Was A Queen....
Yeah. :D Thanks, I have written another poem. I wrote it after my grandpa died. I'll PM it or post it if you want to see it. :D
Author:  Feanor [ November 28th, 2013, 7:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: If I Was A Queen....
I'm so sorry about your grandpa. :(
I'd like to see it... if you feel it's too personal to let the whole forum see, I'm fine with a PM.
Page 1 of 1 All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/