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GONE IS SHE
http://www.arwen-undomiel.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=48&t=9026		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  Envied Alexander [ June 16th, 2006, 4:33 pm ]
Post subject:  GONE IS SHE
first i would like to say a few things, i am not a mother, but this is written from a mother's point of veiw. if this poem confuses you, please PM me. if you would like for me to make in longer, please let me know. and i REALLY want comments on this one, i'm not very sure about this one.

GONE IS SHE
joy.
where has it gone?
will it be gone for long?
for the joy in my life is gone.
gone is she, who made my life worth liveing.
in one moment.
in a singal clash.
now all i wish to do is wallow in ash.
all because of that crash.
she has left me, on this earth alone.
but now she is gone.
gone is she, my little one.
in one moment, all my pain had begun.
gone was the one, i dearly loved.
gone was my child, in just one crash.
gone is the little girl, who grew under my heart.
gone is my baby, who i had cared for in the midnight.
gone is she, the light of my life.
the pain stabs at me like a knife
but now she is gone, why had it been her?
why not me? there would have been less pain for her.
gone is my child, my little dark-haired girl.
who was flesh of my flesh, and bone of my bone.
she has left me pain prone.
the time that my pain will ease is unknown
my child is gone, but i shall see her again
my baby, my child, i'll hold you in heaven.
this is for all mothers who have ever lost a child.
Author:  Aredhel Ar-Feiniel [ June 16th, 2006, 4:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
that is beautiful ... i swear if i were a mother i would be in tears right now... i love it!
Author:  Envied Alexander [ June 16th, 2006, 4:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
thank you, i think i might enter it in a contest....
Author:  evenstar of mirkwood [ June 16th, 2006, 4:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
That is such a beautiful poem. It expresses so much emotion! It's wonderful!
Author:  Envied Alexander [ June 16th, 2006, 4:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
thanx! i'm really pleased with it... :D
Author:  evenstar of mirkwood [ June 16th, 2006, 4:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
I think you should enter it in a contest...maybe on poetry.com
Author:  Pirogoeth of Kuith [ June 16th, 2006, 4:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
:( That's sad... And really pretty...

:P I posted now!
Author:  Envied Alexander [ June 16th, 2006, 5:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
aww, i was just kidding! but thanx Pirogoeth of Kuith
!!
and Eve, i was really thinking about it, i used the rhyme help from there! lol!
Author:  Pirogoeth of Kuith [ June 16th, 2006, 5:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
*Bows* You're quite welcome, Dearie. :) I wish I could write as good as that....
Author:  Envied Alexander [ June 16th, 2006, 5:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
normally, i try to hard, and it turns out bad, but i heard a story about a little girl who lived in my city, who was 9 years old, and she died in a car crash, her 16 year old cousin was driveing.... he lived......
Author:  Lady Erana [ June 16th, 2006, 5:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
That's a great poem, Findëmaxa! I adore it!
Author:  Envied Alexander [ June 16th, 2006, 5:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
thanx, it makes me happy when peeps post after my poems! and call me Max of Finder if you wish!
Author:  Lady Erana [ June 16th, 2006, 5:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
^ I will! :D

It's really a good poem!
Author:  Envied Alexander [ June 16th, 2006, 6:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
thank you!
Author:  Annabel Lee [ June 16th, 2006, 7:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hey Max on this part


gone is my baby, who i had cared for in the midnight


you need to either change it to

gone is my baby, who i had cared for in the midle of the night
or
gone is my baby, who i had cared for in the night

or

gone is my baby, who i had cared for at midnight

Just thought i would bring that to your attension
Author:  Envied Alexander [ June 16th, 2006, 7:17 pm ]
Post subject: 
why? i like it the way it is, if you had written the poem, you could change it. but I wrote it. so it stays how it is...
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