@Eä - You should ask about the name I think. I agree with Ana... it's unfair for people with no posts (or two) to be squatting names that others would like to use!

Yeah, most people don't think that I'm the marrying type, but it's definitely what I want in the future. I guess I'm very traditional in that sense, and I've always wanted to just settle down eventually. I agree about the compromises. And I also definitely agree about the religious views and values. For example (and I'm not trying to step on any toes here, this is just a personal thing), I could never ever date - much less marry - a Christian or a Catholic. There would be far too much conflict and there would be a lot of pressure for me to adopt his beliefs, which I could never do. My religious friends and I butt heads often enough... hehe.

@Aranel - me and you both with the attachment thing. I just don't see the point in getting into a relationship if you know already right from the start that it's not going to get anywhere....

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^ By me and my SS *squiggle hugs*

^Not stepping on my toes - I completely agree with you, only with me it's the other way around. I have no problem being friends with people of a different faith, in fact I have many really great friends who don't share my beliefs, but I think that having to compromise in my everyday life (like what values I might want to teach any children I might have etc) because my spouse doesn't share my faith, that would be too much.

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by Lembas

Gim: Oh gosh, I know. I was pleasantly surprised when I went through the memberlist in alphabetical order this morning just out of sheer boredom, stumped across my name, then Haldir Ithillen's... with no other Haldirs on the list. So I immediately snagged this one.

It's pretty funny how my wanting to get married seems to be a bit unexpected for everyone. Bahaha. I guess I don't openly run around telling people that I wanna get married because I definitely don't seem the type. Of all my friends, I think I'm the only one who wants to get married and have kids. Weird! Older men are definitely far better for marriage though, and definitely more ready - I agree with you there. Nice thinking ahead hehe. I'm dating someone who's 6 months younger than me. He's got a looooong way to go...

Ana: Yup, couldn't have said it better myself. That's exactly what I was getting at. And I'm the same way - I have lots of religious friends and family members, but a husband with opposing religious beliefs would be extremely impossible for the most part.

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Yeah, I mean, I'm not saying it can't be done, but I'd personally prefer that my husband supported the choices I made rather than question them

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by Lembas

I would go insane personally hahaha.

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I probably would too, eventually

So, I have a question we might discuss.
What is your opinion on love at first sight? Or not necessarily at first sight, but the whole idea of falling in love with someone you've only just met.

Because, and forgive me if I sound cold-hearted and cynical, I don't think you can really love someone you don't know. I mean, you can love the way they look and you can love the way they're making you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, but until you know what a person likes to do, what their good and bad sides are etc, how can you say you love them?

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by Lembas

You can't. It doesn't make sense. People have the concept of love confused with infatuation and obsession. Which would make it lust at first sight, not love. Now I know there's going to be some philosophical warmongers going at my neck with "what's the meaning of love anyway? Who are you to say what love is?" but there is a clear distinction between love and lust. Love is about understanding someone, caring about them and appreciating them for who they are, and is based on an emotional, physical and mental connection with somebody after a long or short period of time. You can love parts of them, like you said Ana - but that definitely doesn't mean you love them. Which most people get confused about.

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Finally someone who agrees with me It feels like the whole world is all about love at first sight and I'm like "it doesn't work that way!"
I do think though that you can get to know someone really fast and fall in love with them really fast - but the getting to know them-part is so important, it just isn't love without it.

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by Lembas

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^ By me and my SS *squiggle hugs*

Fitting topic for today.

I'm with you too. I don't believe there's love at first sight. I believe you can be attracted to someone at first sight, and maybe you'll come to love that person, but it wasn't love at the beginning. You have to know someone before you can love them.


And to go back to the other question:
I could see myself getting married, but I also could see it (eep!) not happening. Or at least happening waaaaay down the road. I take dating pretty seriously, in that I wouldn't want to date if it wouldn't go anywhere. I've yet to have a boyfriend, so who knows how things will go. I also don't seem to have a type. I like people who make me laugh, and who I can have conversations with. Though I've also come to realize I could never date someone who doesn't like novels or movies for pure entertainment. I've liked a few and I think it's probably a good thing it go any further than me liking them.

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going on a journey through my old claims

Oh it's so good to see that there are so many sensible people in the world

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by Lembas

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^ By me and my SS *squiggle hugs*

I don't really watch Judge Judy unless it happens to be the only thing that's on, but yeah. Seriously, the things people do...

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by Lembas

I have such bad commitment issues lol. I guess I'll get married someday, but its not really clear at the moment.
All I do know is that I want to go to school (for a looonnngg time) and reach a goal as to what I want to make a career out of, all the while being on said college's debate team. thus I need a guy who will let me do my own thing but at the same time still be mine. I haven't such good luck with a guy like that though.
On the appearance thing, I have little to no preference. I find a lot of different people attractive.
On religion, I'm don't really adhere to any one religion, but I do draw very specific ethics and morals without it and I need a person who at least agrees with the logic behind them.

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"Holmes is a little too scientific for my tastes -- it approaches to cold-bloodedness"

Eeehhh hello... I think I'm still a member of this club right ?

As far as the topic that was discussed over a month ago is concerned; I already jumped the gun so to speak and got married. I always had the fantasy of having a fairy-tale wedding with the big white dress in a cute little church. I got exactly what I wanted and I'm quite happy to be married to my husband. I was always afraid that I would never find anyone because I'm not very social, but I really feel like meeting Brandon was fate. In January 2007 I started working for my university. A few months later Brandon came back to the university to work in the same department as me. He had worked there before and left to do something else for a while. Six months later we started dating, two years later we got married, and now we are going on a year of marriage. If he hadn't come back, we wouldn't be together now.

I always wanted to marry young and have kids young, because when I was a kid it used to scare me that my parents were always so much older than everyone else parents. I'm 22 now and plan to start having kids in a few years, as long as everything works out biologically.

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"There's an ocean between.....where I am and where I want to be"