That is what I'm going for.

_________________
Be with me always - take any form - drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you!

Curran, I liked the way the story flowed. Very well done.
I've been working on this story about these two brothers. It's a drama, but I'm having some trouble. These brothers would do anything for each other but I'm having some difficulties figuring out how they would act towards each other. I don't have any brothers myself so I realize i've stepped into a deep puddle here, but does anybody here have any tips for me.

_________________
Made by Meganelf



Made 1000 posts on 7/22/06!!!!!!!!!

here's the prologue of mine:
Prologue- The Greatest Discovery

It was a cold, cloudy morning when Tom Magimille, a strong stalky man of 60, decided to take a walk along the rocks of the shore on Tory Island. Tom’s leg was giving him a little pain, but he shook it off as a joint spasm. Slowly, he limped along the rock mixed with sand beach--breathing in the salty ocean air. He could barely see the cove through the fog. The cove was his destination; he loved to go sit and watch the waves roll in.
Tom Magimille was a retired business owner. He owned the Mag. Printing Press, but he retired and passed it on to his son, Stephan Magimille. He moved from Belfast, Ireland to Tory Island where he hoped to lead a quiet, uneventful old age. However, he was not old. Tom had just turned 60, his graying hair gave off an appearance of an older man and his face was etched with wrinkles, but his eyes were as bright as ever behind a pair of round-rimmed glasses. Tom had retired after his leg injury and was rather thankful to be away from the busy life of a businessman. Tom bought a house overlooking the sea and visited the shores every morning. Tom was not expecting anything eventful to happen that morning but to his great surprise, today would be the day that would change his life as he knew it.

Tom had rushed in the house and grabbed four sacks of burlap, he dumped out the old papers, pictures, and rubbish on the floor and hurried back outside as fast as his leg would allow. The sand slowed him down quite a bit but his determination to solve the objects he had found in the cove was motivating him forward. He reached the cove and stared incredulously at the pile of colored oval-ish treasures in front of him.
“Holy...” Tom muttered, his voice leaving him.
Tom could tell that these were no ordinary eggs. He placed them gently into the sacks, three in each. One by one, Tom carried them back to his house.
After half-an-hour of pacing, Tom decided to call his son. His son was connected to all the right people and he hoped that Stephan could help him. Tom grabbed the receiver and anxiously dialed his son’s phone number. He didn’t relax at all until he heard the gruff, “Hello?” on the other line.
“Stephan? This is your father!” Tom said clutching the phone.
“Dad? How are yo--”
“I need some help! And fast!” Tom interrupted, not wanting to chitchat.
“Help, what kind of help?” Stephan asked, a hint of worry entered his voice.
Tom explained the situation to his son, making sure to not leave out any information. Stephan was taking it quite well and was not questioning his father’s encounter at all.
“So, you didn’t see the person who put them there, right?” Stephan asked finally.
“I just found them! How could I have? I am only out there for two hours a day!” Tom cried into the reciever. He glanced anxiously at the four large burlap sacks piled in his living room.
“Ok, dad!” His son, Stephan, replied, “I’ll make a few phone calls.”
“Hurry, they give me a funny feeling.” Tom said.
“Yeah...” Stephan said distractedly and hung up. Once Tom heard the line go dead, he hung up the phone and moved over to one of the sacks. Reaching into it he pulled out a large dark blue egg. It was heavy and the shell was thick. Tom held it out in front of him and whistled under his breath.

“Are you Tom Magimille?” The woman on Tom’s threshold asked. Tom nodded and held the door open for her.
“I’m Crymson Elementweilder,” the woman said, looking around the house. Her short dark brown hair and bright blue-ish grey eyes gave her a look of severity. But Tom noticed despite her intimidating looks, she was very pretty. Crymson shook off her large coat.
“I am here on behalf of the Elhgmar Council.” Crymson informed Tom, meeting his eyes. She was almost a head shorter than Tom but he regarded her as a woman of authority.
“The what?” Tom asked, his brow furrowed.
“The Elhgmar Council. We deal with magical creatures.” Crymson repeated in a somewhat agitated tone.
“Oh, right. Then these-” Tom motioned to the burlap sacks, “-are...magical creatures?”
“Yes.” Crymson said striding over the sacks. She bent down and picked up a deep red egg. “These are various dragon eggs.”
“They’re what?” cried Tom incredulously.
“Dragon eggs, of more than one species. I wonder who left them.”
“Who wouldn’t? Their Dragon eggs! Their probably dangerous.”
“The majority of these aren’t. Only the dark blue and the deep red eggs are remotely dangerous.” Crymson replied, straightening up, still holding the red egg. At this Tom swallowed and glanced at the dark blue egg he had been holding. Tom tore his eyes away and looked at Crymson.
“So-- how did the eggs get here?” He asked, attentively. Crymson looked up at him, her face expressionless.
“I’ll explain everything.” She said simply. Tom looked at her.
“Oh right.” He turned his back as if to walk away. He suddenly whipped around and blurted out the thought that was haunting him since her arrival.
“How can these be Dragon eggs? Its 2150, for goodness sakes! If there were ever dragons, aren’t they...they medieval?”
For the first time, Tom saw a smile on Crymson’s features. She held out the red egg and said, “They’ve been hiding.”
Tom looked at her exasperated. “Hiding? I don’t understand.”
“Make a pot of tea and I’ll explain anything.” Crymson repeated,
“Oh. Sure.” Tom said bustling off to the kitchen. He was rushing around kitchen making some nice ginger tea --and Crymson had sat down in a high back armchair smiling in a secretive way at the eggs. Her eyes flashing in an unknown light. Perhaps it was just the firelight, or perhaps it was something else.

“It was long ago. In the biblical era if you believe that sort of thing,” Crymson started, sipping on some hot tea, “It was a time of ancient magic and magical creatures. They were everywhere. In different climates you would find different creatures, different species, everything. No creature however was more powerful, more plentiful than Dragons. There were few who owned a Dragon and even most of the owners did not understand the greatness of these animals.
Dragons were not dangerous as you may have heard and read. They keep to themselves and are very wise in the way that they live and thrive. The majority lived in mountains and deserted areas around the world, not only for environment, but also for protection from those who opposed them. During King Hetzar’s reign in 500, the demand that the Dragon species be terminated was far too great. Hetzar gathered his elite army and they killed off the Dragon specie’s. Over time, there were scarcely any different kinds of Dragons left; there had once been over 90 Dragon kinds, but after the ‘Dragon Slaughter’—as it is known—there was only 12 species left. No one knows for sure what happened, whether the Dragon Owners bore them away to the Mountains of Elhgmar – a terrain where no mortal can reach, or did they die off, only leaving behind their offspring. Their offspring meaning these eggs. There have been a select few who have found, understood, and nurtured dragons of various breeds from hatchlings; but it is a very select few.
New discoveries have been found, different races have joined together and have called themselves the Elhgmarian’s. You must have visited the Elhgmar Mountains to join the Council, mind. We have all searched and have found nothing, yet. The Council feels like they are getting close, a feeling that is shared by everyone who believes. This discovery of the eggs is almost a breakthrough. We must fly to Elhgmar, where the ancient dragon owners and their companions wait until one day when the world accepts Dragons and all other ‘mythological’ creatures.
Since I am one of those ‘Dragon Owners’ I have been appointed to carry the eggs along with 11 other well-suited Elhgmarians.”
“You...you have a dragon.” Tom stuttered.
“Yes.” Crymson shot him a death glare, “Dragons are growing to be almost myths. Only a select few own one. Those who do possess a dragon either live in hiding or are constantly on the move. Dragon possessors are not welcomed in society.”
“But--why?” Tom asked curiously.
“If you are in the presence of a magical being for too long, something changes inside you a dragon and a human being can form an unbreakable bond and that bond can transfer powers of the dragon to the human. You view things differently and that leads to conflicts within different races.” Crymson said.
“So, so you have magical powers too?” Tom stuttered, dropping his tea. It smashed on the floor sending the liquid and glass flying in all directions. No one moved to pick up the mess.
“In a sense.” Crymson shrugged, making the ends of her short hair graze her shoulders.
“Oh...ok.” Tom said, completely confused and astounded. He rested his head in a hand and shook it back and forth.
“Well. That’s about it. I will need to take the eggs if you don’t mind.” Crymson said, standing up.
“Yes, please do!” Tom said in a tense mumble. Waving his free hand at the sacks.
“Thank you Mr. Magimille,” Crymson said, replacing the dark blue egg and the dark red egg back in the sacks. Tom said nothing, only looked at Crymson. She only smiled and gathered up the bags. When she was about to walk out the door she added, “And please for our safety and yours, do not mention this to anyone,” as if it were an after thought she felt she should share. And with that she left, without another word.
Tom looked at her and mouthed wordlessly. How could he tell anyone? No one would believe him.

Crymson left the house in a small black car and drove down to a deserted beach about an hour away from Tom Magimille’s house. The beach was almost hidden by tall sloping rocks that looked dangerous. If anyone tried to descend, they would surely die--not unless of course you found the small stair like rocks behind overgrown weeds. Crymson knew about the stairwell of course. She carried the bags down the stairs one at a time taking precious time to ensure their safety. When she carried the last of the sacks down to the small beach, she finally looked up at the man sitting in a niche in the rocky slope.
“I’ve got them.” Crymson said. Holding up the bag for the man to see.
“Great. Now we can finally get some rest.” The man said, closing his eyes as if he were to fall asleep.
“I agree, we’ll fly out tomorrow morning, “But first we need to find some food.”
“Yes please, and some meat for our friends.” Kith nodded toward the dark shadows of two enormous animals. One was a twelve-foot tall griffin by the name of Kiowa, with a monstrous wingspan. She has copper colored fur, and deep brown feathers. Her eyes are a pure green, flecked with gold. The other was no other than the dragon. The dragon, Dawnfire had an enormous red body with black leathery wings. Although his intimidating appearance of his overall power, sharp teeth and strong powerful claws, Dawnfire was nothing less than stunning. If one were to get over the first initial fear, they would see the beauty of the fire dragon.
Crymson walked over to the beloved beast and gently stroked his scaly, dry skin. Kiowa looked at Crymson with reproach and lay down, fluffing her feathers. “You two would like some meat, wouldn’t you?”
‘Yes please.’ A voice inside Crymson head said. The voice was deep and was filled with strength and wisdom. The voice belonged to Crymson’s dragon, Dawnfire. Crymson, like many other Owner's of magical creatures could communicate with their creatures, but only through thought.
“Kiowa says she would like some deer meat.” Kith spoke up.
“I think that this island is a few short of deer meat.” Crymson commented, “I’ll get what I can.”
She rummaged in her packs and pulled out a bag of paper money and coins. Crymson climbed up the rock-stairs and went back to the car. She drove off toward the center of the island where there was a small town. The town was not crowded and most of the shops were closed. The market was still open however. Crymson parked the car and walked in, avoiding the gaze of anyone who looked her way. She walked up and down the aisles, selecting different choices of crackers, cheese, fruit, and drinks. After she was happy with her selection she went over to the deli.
“Do you have any steaks?” Crymson asked the butcher.
“Only a few miss.” The man gruffly said. He was sharpening a knife and did not look up.
“I would like to purchase whatever you have.”
The man looked up for the first time, “Ok.” He went into a room and a couple minutes later he came back with 7 steaks.
“That’s 14 pounds.” He said dropping the wrapped meats in front of her.
“Good, I would also like to buy the largest poultry you have.”
The man stared at her with wide eyes and once again disappeared in the back room. He came back with a very large turkey.
“Thank you sir.” Crymson took the meats and her other food and went to go pay. She left the shop, her moneybag feeling horribly light, but she was satisfied nonetheless.
When she arrived back at the spot where Kith and their beasts hid, an hour later, Crymson stowed the car and carried her purchases down to the small beach.
“I got some steaks and a bird for them.” Crymson informed Kith.
“Great, and us?” Kith looked more tired than he had been an hour ago.
“Crackers, cheese, fruit, you know, stuff that will give us strength and energy.” Crymson shrugged. Kith nodded and thanked her; Crymson pulled out the food and tossed him the crackers and cheese. Crmyson unwrapped the meats and gave 3 steaks to Kiowa and 4 steaks as well as the turkey to Dawnfire. The beasts ate happily and Crymson went over to eat with Kith. They ate a hearty meal of cheese, crackers and fruit. There was plenty of water so they made sure they were hydrated. Neither of them could afford to be famished or dehydrated and risk putting their journey off for a day. They would have to fly to London tomorrow or it would be too late.
When night came, Kith stretched and said, “I think we should let them fly. And maybe hunt for awhile.”
“Sure.” Crymson agreed and turned to Dawnfire, he looked at her expectantly.
‘You may roam for a little while, but take caution, you cannot be seen.’ Crymson thought to her dragon.
‘Of course, I wouldn’t think of it. May I hunt?’ Dawnfire replied, he stood up and stretched his wings.
‘Only a little, no farm animals, only wild animals.’ Crymson ordered looking at her Dragon sternly.
‘Yes, Crymson.’ Dawnfire bowed in recognition and within seconds he was off, flying into the air. Crymson felt a stab of jealousy and sadness. How she desired to be on his back, flying unseen above the world.
Kiowa followed Dawnfire, her powerful wings thrusting her up. She circled the beach and then flew toward inland in search of food. Kith watched her fly off; he stared off into the night,
“I wish I were with her.” He said. Crymson went and stood next to her friend.
“Same with me.” Together they stood in the cool night thinking of the blissful experience that they wish they could be apart of.
The Dragon and the Griffin returned a little past midnight. They looked content so their Owners left them to be and they fell asleep, waiting for morning to come.


The next morning, Kiowa woke both of them up. She was squawking noisily. Crymson shot up, Kith right behind her; they ran toward her and tried to make her quiet. Kiowa was pacing nervously, pawing and tossing her head. Even Dawnfire was restless, he swiveled his head back and forth and sniffed the air.
“Make her stop! She is going to wake the whole town!” Crymson hissed. Kith looked at her, a frightened look in his eye.
“She says that a group of mortals are coming toward the beach, they will be here soon!” Kith cried. Crymson looked at Kith.
“We have to go, now.” She said.
“Now? We aren’t packed.”
“Then I suggest we hurry.” Kith nodded and ran to grab his stuff. Crymson stuffed the food and her blankets into her traveling packs. With great care, she put the eggs in their own pack. Crymson rushed to put the packs on Dawnfire. Kith was had hurried over to put his packs along with 2 sack of the eggs on Kiowa. Within minutes they were done and they climbed onto their creatures.
‘Fly to London in great haste.’ Crymson told her Dragon. Dawnfire pushed off from the ground and off into the sky, Kiowa was right behind him. Crymson looked back and saw 3 boys climbing down the rocky steps, she sighed in relief; they had barely left in time.

They arrived in London not but two hours later. They had to land in some rural area about 20 minutes from their destination. They met the Elhgmarian Council’s appointed caretakers there, and Dawnfire and Kiowa were rushed out of citizen sight. Crymson and Kith had arrived in the city half an hour later, thoroughly exhausted; a surly escort was ushering them around. For most of the day, they did sightseeing and prepared for their proposal for the following day. They drove by the Elhgmarian Headquarters several times before they headed back. It was 10 at night when they arrived at a small motel a block away from the Elhgmarian’s Headquarters. Their escort checked them in and helped them with their bags. Kith had not said a word since leaving Kiowa and he looked more tired by the minute.
“We’ll need to keep the warm eggs in a warm, place, and the cold eggs in a cool place.” Kith remarked suddenly. Crymson rolled her eyes, her tiredness taking advantage of her. She became quickly annoyed with him pointing out the obvious.
“I’ll take the warm eggs.” She said sharply. She grabbed the key from their escort and shoved it into the keyhole of her room. She dragged her bags in and then the 2 sacks of the ‘warm’ eggs. Crymson groaned, half-guilty of snapping at Kith. Crymson spent 10 minutes trying to get a warm environment for the eggs. When she succeeded, Crymson threw herself onto the plush looking bed and fell asleep immediately.


They were flying over a sea of endless grass. Dawnfire’s powerful wings kept them a safe distance from the ground. Crymson threw her arms open wide in a state of pure bliss. The wind in her hair, the howling of the air in her ears made the ride all more enjoyable. It was as if the dragon and the rider were one. The time passed and they flew onward. Dawnfire never seemed to tire. Only when they reached the rocky shores of an unrecognizable beach did the most dreadful thing happen.
There were first three pounding noises. Dawnfire flinched away, almost unseating his rider. Crymson looked around in search of the noise. More pounding followed, Dawnfire flipped in the air. This time the violent tremors of his powerful body unseated his rider, sending her to the unforgiving waters below.
Crymson shot up, her body drenched with cold sweat. She quickly realized that the pounding noise was someone knocking on her motel door. Still, Crymson could not forget the feeling of falling off and into the air, knowing that her dragon was not there with her. Crymson quickly pushed herself off the bed and hurried over the door. Crymson wrenched open the door and saw Kith, clothed in a black and white suit standing in her doorframe.
“We are to meet the Council in and hour.” He said smiling.
“What time is it?” Crymson asked, yawning.
“A quarter past 7, I believe.”
Crymson sighed and thanked Kith for informing her of the meeting. Crymson shut the door and went to take a deserving cold shower.

Crymson finished putting on the last of her make up. She straightened her black pencil skirt, white top, and black blazer. Despite her disliking for formal wear, anyone wise enough knew that you would need to make a good impression on the Elhgmarian Leaders if you were to ask a favor as big as Kith and Crymson were going to. Crymson checked her appearance one more time and went to go meet Kith in the lobby.
“Ready?” Kith asked once she reached him.
“No, but its now or never.”
“Agreed.” Kith grinned. Kith was not making a big deal about his nerves. Rather, he smiled as they walked out of the motel to catch a cab, however he hardly said anything during the ride. Crymson was sure she looked just as she felt. Pale and nervous, she could feel butterflies flying around in her stomach.
The taxi ride seemed to take hours, and once they reached the sophisticated building that was the Elhgmarian Councils’ Headquarters, Crymson’s heart seemed to jump into her throat.
The taxi pulled up to the curb and looked around at them. Kith paid the man and got out. He held the door for Crymson as she stepped out on the hard pavement. Her high-heels echoed as she walked. Kith strode next to her, his smile strained. Neither said a word as they climbed the marble steps. The Council Headquarters looked much like a bank; that’s how they hid themselves from the naive world. Crymson and Kith walked into the building in awe, having neither of them been there before. A pretty blonde receptionist smiled at them as they walked up to her.
“Ms.Elementweilder and Mr.Rochnar I presume?” The lady said. Crymson nodded tersely.
“I am Georgiana Freles, Secretary of Sr. Elhgmarian Leader, Mr.Itralia.” The blonde stood up and moved out from her desk, “Follow me please.”
Crymson and Kith were led down several hallways and to what seemed to be a lecture room. The blonde showed them to some chairs that encircled a large wooden table. They took their seats and the blonde walked towards the door. She stopped when she pulled the doors open.
“Please wait here, they will be with you in a moment. Thank you.” And with that she closed the door and was gone.
Crymson and Kith waited in silence, Kith rung his hands nervously, and his smile was more strained than ever. Crymson tried to relax by thinking of Dawnfire, but the haunting dream lingered in her mind and she quickly drew her thoughts away. Crymson started to drum her fingers on the table, waiting for some kind of relief of this painful and uncomfortable silence.
At that moment the double doors were thrown open and 10 strict looking men and women entered the room. They took their seats opposite of Kith and Crymson. They all took out files and glanced over them before fixing the guests with an unfaltering gaze. A man that looked of 50 and carried himself with authority stood and opened a file lying in front of him.
“You are Crymson Elementweilder and Kithnoran Rochnar, are you not?”
“Yes, I am Crymson and this is Kithnoran.” Crymson said, Kith nodded beside her.
“Very good.” The man said, he broke into a smile and Crymson relaxed a little. “I am Mr. Gordin Itralia. On behalf of the Council, we are very happy you are here.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“You may have saved the Dragon species.” Mr. Itralia said thankfully,” tell us, where did you find these eggs?”
“An island off the coast of Ireland, sir.”
“Very good, and did anyone see them?”
“Only one, sir, a mortal who called his son. His son called me, knowing that I was, err… fascinated with ‘mythology’—as he put it.”
“Was this mortal any trouble?”
“No, he was quite thankful to give them up.”
“Very good, very good. Now, I understand that you want permission granted to you to fly into Elhgmar Mountains?”
“Yes, sir. We believe that’s the only way Dragons can survive.” Kith spoke for the first time.
“And you want 12 people to accompany you?”
“Ten. Twelve including Ms. Elementweilder and I.”
“Why so many? There are rules you see…”
Crymson looked at the Council, they all nodded along with what Mr.Itralia was saying. “We know of the rules, sir.”
“Of course, of course.” Mr. Itralia said smiling.
Crymson tried to look calm and collected, “We want one person per egg. That way there is not a greater risk.”
“Risk? Why would there be a risk?” said a woman with sharp black eyes and hair that matched.
“I examined the spot where the eggs were left. They were put in a cove where around noon the tide comes in and almost fills it. We were guessing that the person who abandoned them did not want them to err… survive so they left them to drown.” Kith said and Crymson nodded in agreement.
“Were any of these eggs Water Species?” The lady asked.
“Only 2 miss.”
“Right, so thank you for stating your purpose, we feel it necessary to ask some questions about each of you.” Mr. Itralia said.
“What?” Crymson asked startled.
“We must ask you questions, miss.” Mr. Itralia repeated.
“But you have all our background on file! We are part of the Ehgmarians.” Crymson argued, “I don’t see why we must go through the questions again!”
“Ms. Elementweilder! We feel it necessary, to make sure that you are truly acceptable to run such a mission.” Mr. Itralia said firmly.
‘Acceptable! He must know that this is in our true interest!’ Crymson thought angrily. She stuffed down the urge to yell at the Council. Kith glanced at her nervously, expecting her to do just that.
“Ask what you want.” Kith said quickly. The Council glanced at each other and opened up their files. The questions went on for an hour. They varied from Kith’s and Crymson’s previous occupations, their social and personal life, their relationship and their family histories. Crymson answered each question truthfully and to the point. When the Council seemed satisfied they all leaned back in their chairs. Mr. Itralia stood up and surveyed them.
“Well, we will get our answer to you within the hour. Please wait out in the lobby.”
Crymson and Kith thanked the Council and they went out to the lobby and sat down in two chairs. Crymson surveyed the crowd; she was keen on eyes and very observant. She found it hard to focus though, she was still upset about how they were forced to tell the Council about their lives, even the parts where she was not proud of. Time seemed to crawl on, the hour seemed like days. But after an hour the blonde receptionist came and fetched them.
“They’ve made their decision, please follow me.” Kith was first to stand and Crymson followed his lead. The secretary led them to the same room where the Council was waiting. She ushered them inside and then left the room, closing the doors with a snap.
“Thank you for putting in your request. We have thoroughly thought about and discussed your wishes. We, the Council, feel that the best course of action is to… grant you permission to journey into the Elhgmar Mountains.” Mr.Itralia said with a straight face. Crymson felt relieved and grinned at Kith who grinned back.
“However, there must be rules and precautions to be followed. This is a book of all of this, please read this and follow them or you will be thoroughly sorry. And, we have prepared a list of all the fit candidates for this journey, respectable, honorable people. Thank you.” Mr. Itralia handed Crmyson the list and nodded towards the door. Crymson and Kith walked out grinning beside themselves. Crymson clutched the folder and book, a great sense of pride filling the inside of her. They walked out of the building, at loss for words.
With a sigh of relief, Crymson climbed into the taxi waiting for them. The easy part was over. The hard part was just about to begin.

“These rules! They are ridiculous! No traveling until dark? That will take weeks, no months. How do they expect us to get things done?” Crymson cried throwing down the large book on the table. It’s weight made the table shutter, the two mugs filled with coffee rocked dangerously.
“Yes, I know!” Kith said, he looked at her urgently, “But we must not dwell on them; rules are meant to be broken!”
Crymson looked at him and nodded miserably, “I guess your right, we can always improvise, if the situation calls for it.”
She sat down next to Kith and pulled the file he was studying over to her. There were pictures, background, everything they needed to pick the worthy candidates.
“Most of these people have not been ‘honorable’. I know it to be true.” Kith said.
“We don’t want honorable.”
“We don’t?”
“No, we want people who can stick up for themselves and defend at all costs, no matter the shame.”
“Right, so the question is, who do we pick?”
They argued over the rightful candidates for hours. They made lists, picked at random, everything on could imagine. They finally decided on the ten that would join them on this epic journey. They both looked at the list, it had ten names written down:


Crymson Elementweilder and Dawnfire

Kithnoran and Kiowa

Rena and Granit

Tharox and Hafran

Edana and Ethne

Madoc and Tempay

Everya and Reminse

Gwendolyn and Isthel

Sorcha and Etain

Eracnaon and Shadowswift



“And so it begins.” Kith said.
“Yes, Kithnoran Rochnar.” Crymson said, smiling into the firelight.

_________________
<center>

[font=Times New Roman]
Hello, I'm Amoniel
[/font]</center>

*giggles as she reads Amoniels* heh, this seems oddly familiar...lol

The stories are great you guys, keep em up..

You've done an amazing job with kith and Kiowa, Amoniel! *Feels very pleased that her character was in the prolouge*

Wow. Wonderful. And hello, I have been a avid writer for some time now though a bit of a shy one, I tend to think of things late at night and forget to write them down, I write fantasy and poetry, most of it very short, I have a large novel on the way at the moment but still write many short things. I wonder if I might join.

It does doesn't it *ponders thoughtfully* *then breaks out in giggles* I think its good. maybe i'm just biased b/c i wrote it, but it just seems to fit!


Aww... thank you! I read over all the biographies, b/c i knew i wanted to characters to be in the prolouge and Kith just seemed to... fit. Just wait until chapter 2! It's all about Kith. Speaking of which.... *sends PM*

_________________
<center>

[font=Times New Roman]
Hello, I'm Amoniel
[/font]</center>

wow, Amoniel, that's awesome! I throughly enjoyed it... so much in fact I think I'll read it again...

_________________
<center>
"The piano is able to communicate the subtlest universal truths by means of wood, metal and vibrating air."

^That really was great Amoniel!

Nice seeing you arond FM! *hugs* I really like the Willy Wonks banner!

_________________
<center> .nph ftw.
[!~^$=+?]</center>

Okay, I just wrote this really fast because submissions for my school's Literary Magazine are due tomorrow (and I, of course, procrastinated), but I was hoping to maybe catch a few opinions on it before I turn it in to be read by the whole school.

_________________________________________________

“Anything yet, Ben?” Angela asked sleepily, glancing at her watch.

A noncommittal grunt came from the opposite corner as Ben continued to stubbornly work on the small radio-- their only connection to the outside world.

“He’s been makin’ up words again,” Nicki, the only child in the cramped room, informed her soberly. “Loud words.”

“Shouts of joy, kid,” Ben muttered as he struggled to turn a bolt. “Pure bliss. I’m just so…darn…happy…that I can’t keep it in sometimes.”

“But they’re special words for Ben only, Nicki,” Angela cut in suddenly, putting an arm around the little girl. “So let’s not…share Ben’s bliss with anyone else, hmm?”

Nicki nodded reluctantly. “Yes ma’am.”

“Good girl. Now go get some sleep. I need to talk to Ben alone.”

As the girl complied, Angela crawled slowly over to where Ben sat. “Seriously, Ben, how goes it?” she asked quietly.

Ben sighed and finally gave up on the bolt. “About the same as it was last time you asked an hour ago,” he replied gruffly, stretching out his back with a groan. “I could be one wire away from success, or I could be one wire away from short-circuiting the whole blasted thing and making it all for nothing. I’m a writer, not an electrician.”

“And I’m a secretary, not a nurse. But sometimes we just have to make do. How much longer do you think we have?”

“Till they find us. Or till we slowly die of starvation and thirst. Personally, I’m wagering on the first possibility.”

“Wonderfully optimistic, aren’t we?” she asked dryly, prodding him in the shoulder.

“Nope, just realistic,” Ben shot back. Shrugging casually, he stretched out some more and yawned. “Shame, really. This would make a great story if we ever got out of it alive.”

Angela opened her mouth to rebuke him further, only to become aware of something lightly tickling the back of her hand. She slowly looked down to find a giant spider resting there. She immediately let out a piercing shriek and jumped up, shaking her hand around violently to ensure that the creature was gone.

“Hush!” Ben quickly stood as well and clamped a hand around her mouth to silence her. “Do you want to get us all killed?”

“Spider…” she hissed, glaring maliciously at the spot where the spider now sat.

“That’s all?” he asked incredulously, looking back and forth between her and the spider. “Watch this.” He took quickly took off a shoe and slammed it down on the arachnid in question, killing the spider on impact. “Crisis averted. Now, can we get back to worrying about the more life-threatening problems we have?”

“It could have been a deadly spider…” Angela muttered defensively, not daring to sit back down. “And anyway, I haven’t heard anything in ages. You don’t think they’re gone, do you?”

“Not likely,” Ben replied. “Probably just biding their time. Lulling us into a false sense of security. Then, without warning-”

“Listen!”

They both turned to look at Nicki, only to pause as they, too, heard something.

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.


CRASH!

Ben worked his jaw up and down several times unsuccessfully before finally making a sound. “Get up!” he shouted, running over to the small metal door that served as the only entrance and only exit to their tiny shelter. “Grab some debris and help me bar the door!”

They worked together quickly until a somewhat-formidable barrier had been formed in front of the door, then sat in silence.

While Angela huddled in the corner with Nicki held tightly in her arms, Ben picked up a fallen piece of metal rebar and approached the door again.

Without making a sound, he slowly pressed his ear up against the metal and waited. And waited. And waited.

Suddenly, he turned back around to face them, his face as pale as a ghost and his mouth set in a grim line.

“They’re inside.”

I luuuuuuuurv that, pirateoftherings! Is... is... is there more to it?
If not, I think I shall die! You left off at such a hanging moment... it's going to kill me!

Not only after it, is there any that goes on before it?

Yes, I know, I'm an idiot, but... I must know!

_________________
<center>
Receiving So Much More.

PM me with prayer requests
www.therebelution.com
</center>

Haha

That's actually kind of what I was going for. I had a word limit (because it's a magazine), so it would have taken half the story just to set up a scene, and quite a bit more to resolve it. So, I decided to just go for a little cliff-hanger that tells you only as much as you need. It's a somewhat new technique for me, as I personally love to describe stuff, but it works, I think. I may start using it more.

But, in response to your question: no, this story itself will not continue. As I said, it's just a little slot in time that has no beginning or ending. But writing it did give me several ideas for a longer multi-chap story that I may start working on soon-ish that's somewhat based on this. So we'll just have to see.

*dies*

_________________
<center>
Receiving So Much More.

PM me with prayer requests
www.therebelution.com
</center>

If you write a longer sorty post it here, I really liked that one!

_________________
<center> .nph ftw.
[!~^$=+?]</center>

I wrote this a little while ago when I was feeling sad *sniff*, I was looking for some suggestions I Hear You

No one talks to me
so I am deaf

No one sees me
so I am blind

No one loves me
so I am broken

_________________

I was cured all right.