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 Post subject: Where the Circle Ends
PostPosted: February 16th, 2007, 2:29 pm 
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Just something I wrote last year and I found it in one of my note books. Figured I would post it.






A long time ago down an old city road,
A stranger road into town.
Only a dollar five to keep him alive,
As the sun went down.
He saw a man on the street, there at his feet,
Hungry and still.
He opened his hand, and gave the man,
A one dollar bill.

With the money in hand that man took a stand,
Made a life for himself.
Helped a young man with a scholarship plan,
And passed on his wealth.
This your man made a friend, that would be in the end,
One troubled soul.
With the young man's aid, the two of them made,
That friends spirit whole.

The friend moved away unexpected one day,
To a place far away.
Never lost touch of the man who helped him so much,
Wrote till his last day.
In a letter one time, he said he witnessed a crime,
And saved a girls life.
She was there in the store, when he came in the door,
Stabbed by a knife.

The girl made it alright, to the hospital that night,
She recovered in time.
She grew up and dug, a young man out of drugs,
Saved him from crime.
The young man helped a friend, who needed money again,
To buy good from the store.
His friend went away happy that day,
But soon needed more.

So he robbed an old man, and took from his hand,
A five dollar bill.
The young man and his band, got out of hand,
They didn't mean to kill.
The old man fell to the ground, with a moaning sound,
In him a knife.
But he said, "Here, take my five, I won't be alive.
Clean up your life."

As the old man lay dying, he remembered the time,
He road into town.
There on the street, down at his feet,
Where he fell down.
A man lay hungry and still, his image so shrill,
So he gave him his one.
Where it all began, where he first helped that man,
His life was now done.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: February 17th, 2007, 10:54 pm 
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wow.....thats rlly good....amazing.....a rlly great way of looking @ life; a great way of putting it....how it's all a big circle....keep it up! great as usual! :)

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PostPosted: February 19th, 2007, 12:55 pm 
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Thanks for reading and the comment :)

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PostPosted: February 20th, 2007, 9:19 pm 
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anytime :)

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PostPosted: February 21st, 2007, 10:24 am 
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I'm amazed and impressed once again. This is great!!! The rhyming and the way the characters are connected in the circle is very well done. And the tone of the poem fits it so well, it's so simple yet meaningful! I love it!! :angel:

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PostPosted: February 21st, 2007, 1:21 pm 
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Thanks Eä. :) appreciate your reading and commenting.

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PostPosted: February 21st, 2007, 1:47 pm 
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You are very welcome! :-)
It's quite different from your other poems. Did you write others similar to this in style and theme?

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PostPosted: February 21st, 2007, 9:34 pm 
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Another great piece Jax. I love how you depicted life as a circle. I thought the end was sad, yet meaningful. Once again, the poem is eloquently expressed. Great job! :-D

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PostPosted: February 22nd, 2007, 3:53 pm 
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Eä wrote:
You are very welcome! :-)
It's quite different from your other poems. Did you write others similar to this in style and theme?


Yes, it is a bit different from my normal peoms. I have written a few this same or similar style. I think part of the difference may be that I wrote this intending it to be a song, which seemes to give them a little different style usually.


Elenriel Greenleaf wrote:
Another great piece Jax. I love how you depicted life as a circle. I thought the end was sad, yet meaningful. Once again, the poem is eloquently expressed. Great job! :-D


Thanks for the comment and reading. :) And yeah the end is sad but I think it portrays reality in a lot of ways.

Very often people are hurt because of a good work they have done. But it proves that it doesn't really matter even if in the end one good work will cost you your life... it's still worth it because the impact that just one good thing or one kind word can have is limitless!

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PostPosted: February 23rd, 2007, 6:05 am 
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Jax Nova wrote:
Yes, it is a bit different from my normal peoms. I have written a few this same or similar style. I think part of the difference may be that I wrote this intending it to be a song, which seemes to give them a little different style usually.

Aye, makes sense... I would love to read the others as well :-)

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PostPosted: February 23rd, 2007, 3:47 pm 
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Well, I will see about getting another posted then. :)

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PostPosted: February 23rd, 2007, 5:42 pm 
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Great, I'll be looking out for it... I don't hang around here so often... :angel:

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PostPosted: February 24th, 2007, 1:03 pm 
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Alright. :) I'll try and get it up before to long in the futre. lol

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