I have written this poem in my english lesson ( it was boring!) based on the charge of the gondorian horsemen led by faramir. Please, tell me what you think.

The city still, the horses quiet,
The pennons flutter high
These mighty men of arms are a sight
And yet you hear them sigh

It is their call to push back the foe
To bring to a halt his advance
To fight close neath the mountain snows
to spear soldiers on their lance

As they ready shield and sword
you hear them for protection pray
their deaths to make new tales for bard
Their hearts and minds now fey

they mounted and faced their foes
Like riders of the damned
Great songs to honour their memory
Into the lines they should have slammed

But their adversary, he was too wise
His bowmen up did call
with a hail of death they filled the skies
to cause they riders fall

"for death, for glory" the cavalry did yell
to die as they saw fit
But at the next thing they saw, they fell
The barbed shafts did hit

Of this number only one survived
The companies great captain
but stuck through with feathered knives
spattered by a bloody rain

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"This is the hour of the Shire-folk, when they arise from their quiet fields to shake the towers and counsels of the Great. Who of all the Wise could have foreseen it? Or, if they are wise, why should they expect to know it, until the hour has struck? "

It's good, especially I like the first and third verse, they got a nice word flow. But I miss a more... perhaps hopeful concluding verse... it doesn't tell whether the charge was completely in vain or our captain lives! (which he fortunately does!)

Also, you might more responses and comments if you had the thread moved to the Fanfiction forum!

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It not based on fanfic though.That doesnt make sense and also the place where it says beep, thats not a swear word. Its an expression used to describe a doomed person. So that clears that up then.

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"This is the hour of the Shire-folk, when they arise from their quiet fields to shake the towers and counsels of the Great. Who of all the Wise could have foreseen it? Or, if they are wise, why should they expect to know it, until the hour has struck? "

Well, in my understanding fanfiction might also be inspired by another authors work. But I think you will get more replies and perhaps better comments there since people who post there are writers!
Ohh and I just noticed it's actually called "Fanfiction and poetry"!

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>>Be the change you wish to see in the world<<



Banner credit: Shadowcat & Nurrantiel Mashiara

It's a good poem, EBM, but I agree with Eä--it technically belongs in the Fanfiction and Poetry section, not here.

Nice work, though.

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Do I have to ask the mods to move my topic for me or what?
Im confused...

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"This is the hour of the Shire-folk, when they arise from their quiet fields to shake the towers and counsels of the Great. Who of all the Wise could have foreseen it? Or, if they are wise, why should they expect to know it, until the hour has struck? "

^You can either ask the mods (PM the A-U moderator account or the mod on duty for the LotR section) or you can post your poem again on the Fanfiction and poetry board.

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>>Be the change you wish to see in the world<<



Banner credit: Shadowcat & Nurrantiel Mashiara

hm... nice poem! It sounds alot like Famir's ride to Osgiliath in the Return of the King... is that what it's based off of?

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(}--{)Imagination Inspires Ideas -Zandain(}--{)
Married Cloud Strife 9/17/08