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 Post subject: For Will Turner (PG-13)
PostPosted: May 27th, 2007, 2:18 pm 
Ringwraith
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Here is a poem I wrote about 40 minutes after seeing PotC: AWE. Please comment.

Sword in chest
Lifes-bloods on the deck,
I rasp my last breaths
As my sight fades unchecked.

Elizabeth's crying
Jack rough hand takes mine,
Around a dagger hilt
my fingers bind.

Thoughts scrambled,
lifting up is my hand,
cold dagger blade
driving into his heart's land.

Rushing of water
a knife stuck in me
Heart is pride out
replacing the beat.

Into the Abyss
the captain goes.
The ship falls too
in the sunset gold.

But I'm not dead,
just gone beyond.
In the flash of green
my heart lives on.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: May 28th, 2007, 11:19 pm 
Istari
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This is good! Really capture's Will's feelings nicely. *applauds* :)

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PostPosted: June 1st, 2007, 6:30 pm 
Dunadan
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Oh my gosh..............that was breath-taking. I almost cried it was so awesome! Bravo!

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PostPosted: June 1st, 2007, 10:33 pm 
Ringwraith
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Thanks, Will's 'death' moment was still fresh in my mind when I wrote it, I think that is why it turned out like that. I almost cryed writing it.

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PostPosted: June 1st, 2007, 11:02 pm 
Istari
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This is off-topic but...your top banner is awesome. I love that quote. :drool:

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Thanks RA, Elenriel, PD/Aliana Dawn, Arwen, Aramel, Shadowcat, Nurr, Tar-Dis!
Pippin of Herenya's Line - "...give nothing back!"
Got fed up and eloped with Ragetti 1-3-08 :P
PHYLLIS, THE ANTI-SUSPIAN!


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PostPosted: June 2nd, 2007, 11:23 am 
Ringwraith
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Thanks, Kemen made it.

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PostPosted: June 8th, 2007, 6:43 pm 
Istari
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Oh that poem is beutiful! I really like how it was from Will's point of view and I think that it flows amazingly well. Wonderful, wonderful job!

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PostPosted: June 9th, 2007, 11:05 am 
Istari
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I haven't seen AWE yet, but your poem is really, really good. It gives you a really good impression of what Will must feel at this moment. Good job! :)

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: June 13th, 2007, 2:24 pm 
Hobbit
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Wow! This is a really great peom! It really captures Will's feelings and isn't to complicated to understand...if you get my meaning...well done! :)

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PostPosted: June 14th, 2007, 12:43 pm 
Ringwraith
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Thanks, to all of you.

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