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 Post subject: The Silent Man [PG-13?]
PostPosted: September 16th, 2007, 10:20 am 
Istari
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I haven't written any poetry for a long time... This one isn't so good, but I though I'd share anyway.

The Silent Man.

It was cold one night,
No light to guide the man.
His sanctuary was in sight,
He started to run as fast as he could.

He trips, he falls, he is broken.
He lies, wounded on the ground.
he doesn't move, no word is spoken,
In his head his voice is screaming loud.

Help! he yelps, clear in his head.
Nobody hears, nobody cares.
Help! he mouths, no word is said.
And there and then his heart tears.

Here he lies cold and alone.
Face is pale, lips are blue.
If only we could have heard him moan.
Now, there is nothing we can do.


Last edited by Bubble Black on October 7th, 2007, 11:46 am, edited 2 times in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: October 6th, 2007, 11:31 am 
Moderator
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Interesting piece. Reminds me of all the suffering people generally don't notice - or pretend they don't!

It's a little odd how you switch from past tense to present tense in the 4th line, but this could be easily changed.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: October 7th, 2007, 11:44 am 
Istari
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Thank you! I'd almost forgotten I'd posted this here.

Meep. That does sound a little odd. I didn't even notice I'd done that. Thank you for telling me. :D


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 Post subject: If only....
PostPosted: October 7th, 2007, 4:38 pm 
Gondorian
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The finality of history! How often we humans go over the way it might have happened. And wish for a happier ending. The tragedy of "if only"! How often we repeat it! Your poem reached in and generated all these thoughts in my mind.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: October 12th, 2007, 1:27 pm 
Istari
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Wow. Thank you very much. :D


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