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Post subject: Silver Snowflake..  Posted: February 16th, 2006, 5:12 pm |
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Joined: 20 January 2006
Posts: 1429
Location: Hertfordshire, England
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( Making this up on the spot...so...do forgive me. ^_^; )
Frozen cerulean, such a vibrant embrace
of colour to harsh drained white.
Gentle words halted, stolen away
As the blizzard encases the echo.
Ah, how beautiful you are,
Against ice, your eyelashes frosted
by a kiss of an angel.
With nought but the touch of an artist,
You lie, so perfect forever.
Forgive me, my love, forgive me
as crimson stains in streaks.
Sleep my love, and never wake.
Sleep, my silver snowflake.
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"Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination" - Oscar Wilde
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Post subject: Posted: February 16th, 2006, 11:31 pm |
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Joined: 22 October 2005
Posts: 569
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I like it...Not that I'm a qualified critic of course, but it captures the emotion, and you use some powerful language.
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Post subject: Posted: February 16th, 2006, 11:32 pm |
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Joined: 07 June 2005
Posts: 5272
Location: Texas
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wonderful, it's very vivid
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Post subject: Posted: February 17th, 2006, 5:37 am |
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Joined: 20 January 2006
Posts: 1429
Location: Hertfordshire, England
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Thank you, to both of you.
I really appreciate the comments, and I do so love writing poetry.
I feel on a poem roll at the moment actually, so more will likely appear. -smiles-
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"Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination" - Oscar Wilde
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Post subject: Posted: February 17th, 2006, 4:09 pm |
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Joined: 04 November 2005
Posts: 19521
Location: In a pudle on Naboo with dragon kind and ents and Jedi and wolves living in the Last Homely House!
Gender: Male
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Agree Enyalië_Vandarya... I am not a qualified critic by any means but I do like it. 
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Post subject: Posted: February 17th, 2006, 7:46 pm |
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Joined: 28 January 2006
Posts: 762
Location: England
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Ah, darling, its simply swoonable^^ *huggles*
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Those who find ugly meanings, in beautiful things, are corrupt without being charming. This is a fault. -Oscar Wilde-
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Post subject: Posted: February 23rd, 2006, 12:54 pm |
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Joined: 20 January 2006
Posts: 1429
Location: Hertfordshire, England
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^ Thank you again.
-smiles-
Swoonable, hm?
It's slightly ..sadistic. Although, I meant it to sound as such...does it sound evil?
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"Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination" - Oscar Wilde
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Post subject: Posted: February 23rd, 2006, 8:13 pm |
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Joined: 06 May 2005
Posts: 2120
Location: midwest
Country: 
Gender: Female
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It is definately very descriptive. Good job!
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Post subject: Posted: February 28th, 2006, 8:29 am |
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Joined: 28 January 2006
Posts: 762
Location: England
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Very evil, darling. *grins* I believe that's where the swoonability comes in... *shifty eyes* I think it's the thought that evil must have a hidden side that makes it so. But yes, very sadistic and evil. ^__^
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Those who find ugly meanings, in beautiful things, are corrupt without being charming. This is a fault. -Oscar Wilde-
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Post subject: Posted: March 1st, 2006, 3:29 am |
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Joined: 04 June 2005
Posts: 1388
Location: California
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Love the lanugage. Very sharp and vibrant.
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Post subject: Posted: March 1st, 2006, 11:50 am |
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Joined: 05 January 2006
Posts: 4689
Location: Somewhere dark... *glowy red eyes*
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Thats beautiful! What else can I say?
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