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 Post subject: It was a Day -- Poem
PostPosted: July 7th, 2006, 1:37 am 
Dwarf
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I've submitted this to one of the contests, but I would honestly like some feedback, so I hope this shant be considered a double post or anything. :)

It was a Day

It was a day that sorrow built
With slowly aging stone.
A poison weed which years ago
Had been so quickly sown.

It was a day that broke the heart
Of Elvish maid so fair,
And stole from eyes the brilliant light
Which long had nestled there.

It was a day that took the life
Of leader fine and good.
A day that made a castle weep
As no one knew it could.

It was a day that killed a man;
A lover, father, king.
A day which verse cannot describe,
Or minstrel aim to sing.

It was a day that Queen went out,
Her body draped in black,
And did not weep for what she saw,
But what she now did lack.

It was a day that broke the hearts
Of men who heard her speak
To wood that waited in the dusk,
And shores she could not seek.

It was a day that tried the bond
Of two immortal hearts,
And closed a tale of endless love
With sadly mortal parts.



Please comment!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: July 7th, 2006, 1:50 am 
Gondorian
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Awesome job...I love the rhyme and rhythm to it. Excellent! Worth posting twice ;)

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PostPosted: July 7th, 2006, 6:31 pm 
Istari
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I love it!! It's so sad and beautiful, and wonderfully written!! :)

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PostPosted: July 9th, 2006, 10:25 pm 
Balrog
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OMG, I love this! this is awesome!! :-D I luv the subject, & the words, & the rhythm is really good. Great job!! Keep writing! :-D

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PostPosted: July 10th, 2006, 3:56 pm 
Warden of the Knight
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lol what can I say? Love the ryming, love the flow, love the imagry and metaphoric typ statements, (if that makes any sense) Great job! :)

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