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PostPosted: October 24th, 2006, 6:25 pm 
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Gwenneth wrote:
There's also a guy at my church who was a leader at my middle school youth group [I'm now in high school]. And he's just an amazing person. He and his wife recently had their first baby, it's so cute. :happy: Recieving hugs from him really makes me feel...
safe. I don't know, but I feel something totally different. And it's not one of those "guy" hugs, like Darrell was talking about, but a genuine, "I really care about you. How are you?"


I have that feeling when my mom hugs me... which is about once every six months. I don't know if it's just my [s]paranoid[/s] happy nature, but I'm not a very huggable person.

*shies away from Mrs. Gamgee again*

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PostPosted: October 24th, 2006, 8:30 pm 
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Well, I give hugs to people every day, seeing that I have a Personal bubble the size of a needle. I give hugs to my "girlfriends".

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PostPosted: October 24th, 2006, 8:38 pm 
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:teehee: What is this "personal bubble" you are all talking about? I have never heard of such a thing!

Okay, I have, but I don't really have one. I love getting hugs, and as Gwen said sometimes they can mean a lot more to me or express more to me than words.


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PostPosted: October 24th, 2006, 8:41 pm 
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Thats what I was trying to say. Some days I have a bubble, but most of the time I am a free hug machine!

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PostPosted: October 24th, 2006, 9:57 pm 
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*hugs Tel*

I also like hugs because it seems like you can give them to just about anyone without things getting to intimate for discomfort. That's a nice thing between me and some of my guyfriends.

By the way, this question was asked by one of the guys in my World History class today. Who has a "harder" life- girls or guys? I know, it's one of those questions that could be argued endlessly and senselessly, but I was just wondering what you thought. We didn't come to a conclusion in class today because things became a bit... interesting I should say. I trust you all to be mature and courteous in your answer though.

Don't worry, I'm not expecting a whole paragraph. Just simple answers will do, but please have some kind of reason behind what you're saying. I might answer later depending on which way this goes. Anybody is free to change the subject if things get out of hand, and you all know when that is I trust.


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PostPosted: October 25th, 2006, 9:19 am 


I'm not sure you can say either girls or guys have it harder. Each face lots of diferent challenges, and everyone has to struggle with them, whatever they may be. Somethings will be easier for guys, others for girls, and somethings will only be faced by one gender. I'm not sure you can say it is more difficult for one or the other.

It also depends on the time (as in what stage in history) and which 'class' the person is in. No doubt in some societies girls had it easier, but in others guys will have it easier. As you say Larael, it is an endless and pointless arguement, which ever perspective you take :P


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PostPosted: October 25th, 2006, 12:46 pm 
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@Which gender has it harder?

Well, I am not sure. I would have to say women. I know that us guys have it hard too. But the whole pregnant thing, I woudnt want to go through that, and women are tough to get through that. That is the hardest thing anyone can do, so thats why I think woman have a hard life.

However, some guys lives are also hard. FI, a person is self-cautious about their looks, personality, friends, and such. We guys have to keep an image that both appeals to our guy brotherhood, and to the ladies whom we want to get attention from.

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PostPosted: October 25th, 2006, 9:08 pm 
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Guh, I think I'm going to take the side that these 3 (surprised to see only males have answered so far)have already taken.

I personally think that everyday society makes it a little harder on both men and women, boys and girls, males and females....whatever. I mean some guys face things that I wouldnt be able to go through and in some respects, they have to make tougher desicions!
But ladies, you know we face a lot as well...I suppose I could go on and list a little for each side...hmm....yeah.

Men: The thing that scares me the most with you lot, is having (at least here in america) to face a draft. I cannot imagine one day, recieving a call or a letter "you're going to war" i mean....wow. Shock, also, as men you are the ones who generally become head of the house (if you get married and have a family) you call many of the desicions (with consent of your wife, of course :)) and you do a lot of the providing, allthough, even with that women are becoming more involved each day. Then there's pressure that society pushes even on men, not just us ladies. Relationship-wise, men are the ones that are required to ask you out on a date, to ask you to be his girlfriend, guys are the ones that have to decide when the time is right to ask for your hand in marriage! So, yeah, I suppose its not all easy for ya.

Women: As has been stated by Telpeath, we've got the lovely decision on pregnancy. Of course, you shouldnt be stupid enough to have babies until you're ready, but we are human and we make mistakes. If a guy has sex and whatnot, it's not as bad as a girl, she stays with a life on her hands, and women face the decision of having to keep that soul or not, which is not easy. Ladies also have a lovely little friend that visits them once a month, guys...you are LUCKY you don't deal with that....eww. But thats one of the incovniniences we get used to, i also think that women's role in society sucks. And the way a lot of women are treated,especially modern-day earth,lol. Also, I've only ever heard of one story where a boy got raped, I'm not syaing that it doesn't happen but the whole rape-and-kill situation, really only happens to girls, and that freaks me out to the max....well, until i can think of more i think thats it....yeah.

@Gwen: I know what you mean, my gives me those kind of hugs, and one of my friends. :]

@LDM: *snatches back and hugs*

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PostPosted: October 25th, 2006, 9:19 pm 
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Well, personally I think both men and women have hard lives, even though they don't face the same challenges. Men and women have standards that society has set to live up to. And if they don't, they will be looked down upon. They also have to appear appealing to the opposite sex, a hard thing to accomplish. And they both have their own individual problems.
@ Mrs. Gamgee - if they ever have the draft, I'll flee to Canada. I'm a pacifist so the idea of going to war doesn't go well with me. But if I am forced to, I'll work as a medic or something like that.

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PostPosted: October 25th, 2006, 11:35 pm 
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:lol: Run away to Canada...nice.

I pretty much agree with what most of Mrs. Gamgee said. :closedeyes: Guys have it tough, but girls usually have it harder. We've got major mood swings to deal with, our monthly friend *cough*, pregnancy in the future, terrible mean-girl cliques, the terrible unconcious desire for a boyfriend, but at the same time, not wanting to be used by guys...and always having to live up to the image of the girl next to you who looks better or acts flirtier. And if we chose not to take that path, then we are surrounded by forces every day telling us that we should! *screams*

Well, maybe that's mor emy personal experience. :blush: But sometimes it's really hard ebing a teenage girl...

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PostPosted: October 26th, 2006, 1:20 pm 
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Well, this is a great discussion you all are having! :)

@Hugs: I love hugs, giving and receiving, and sometimes find them easier to give than a compliment in RL (I'm working on that lol) Growing up in a close-knit Christian school from grades 5-12 really helped foster that comfort zone with hugs, because there are tons of guys and girls that I know and trust enough to hug me in a normal, friendly way. A hug can say so much, just look at how much the :hug: smilie is used on this forum! :P

@Which gender has it harder?

I think, as all of you have stated, that there are unique challenges that each gender has to face. But you must take into account which country you are living in. A woman who lives in Canada, US, UK, etc. can vote, work, have abortions, travel, marry who she wants and so on. Many countries, especially in the third world, remain prejudiced against women, forcing them to stay at home instead of work, not allowing them a say in politics, nevermind the abuse that occurs regularly.
I won't say that men in those countries don't face obstacles and such because of their gender, but because of the bias against women, the ladies have it much worse.
Back in countries like America, though, I agree that both genders have struggles. And as none of us are unbiased (er, we're all a girl or a boy ;) ) this debate can never truly be ended fairly. So opinions are all that counts :)

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PostPosted: October 26th, 2006, 3:21 pm 
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Luthien of Lorien wrote:
Many countries, especially in the third world, remain prejudiced against women, forcing them to stay at home instead of work, not allowing them a say in politics, nevermind the abuse that occurs regularly.
I won't say that men in those countries don't face obstacles and such because of their gender, but because of the bias against women, the ladies have it much worse.
that counts :)


Oh wow, I even forgot to think of that...I would absollutely say that women in the middle-east, and in most and a lot of asia have it a lot worse, even in places in Africa.

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PostPosted: October 26th, 2006, 4:48 pm 
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Yes, there are places in Africa, Middle East, and Asia where women aren't given the same rights as they are in Western Europe or America. One of the things in there is forced marriage. It remains an issue in some of those countries and I really really despise the idea of someone being forced to marry someone. How can it happen? How can someone marry someone if neither of them feel any love between them? That undermines what marriage is: a true testament of love.

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PostPosted: October 26th, 2006, 6:35 pm 
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^Quite true, Caunion. A marriage is a choice to love, honour, and cherish one person for the rest of your life. If you are forced into marriage, then all it truly stands for is lost. I can see how many years ago in our countries that marrying someone brought security, heirs, etc and that was important back then. But today, I can't imagine such a thing has a place in our world!

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PostPosted: October 26th, 2006, 9:32 pm 
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I don't disagree with that, but take into account that this is the way these women have been brought up. I've read accounts where Middle Eastern women think that marrying for love is barbaric and being given in marriage is the true way. It's a shame that these women never experience marriage for true love, but it also depends on the man they're given to.

Concerning whether girls or guys have a harder time, I think girls have it harder physically. We've mentioned pregnancy and our little monthly *cough* thing. Guys have it harder emotionally, because society generally depends upon them to offer shelter and support for their families. There are exceptions, because you hear about the guys who ditch their wives and leave them to support a family on their own.

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PostPosted: October 28th, 2006, 10:46 pm 
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Wonderful and interesting points everyone. As I mentioned before, it is nearly impossible to actually decide on which gender has the "harder" life. We will always be able to come up with new points that would make our gender have a harder time than the other. Truthfully, besides the fact that it would be impossible to decide fully, we also come from many different places and cultures where men and women roles in society are quite different. However, I will make a few points for both sexes in this post.

Girls: Many of you mentioned the physical aspects of a girls life, which I agree can be extremely hard and rather trying sometimes. The things we women do to help populate the world. You men better be appreciative of it... Anyhoo, we must also look at our standing in society. For hundreds, and even thousands of years, women were looked down upon as frail, delicate beings with no sense or say in the matters at hand. As the years have passed and as we entered the 21st century we now see women voting, holding office, working, going to school and fighting. Yet, we also see them doing many of the things that their sex was assigned at the beginning of time. We still bear children, we still care for them, and we still run the home. I don't think that will every be changed, nor do I think it necessarily makes life difficult or harder for women at all. It's just an obstacle we must face, just as the women before us faced. Many of you also mentioned that for some women these rights still are not available to them in certain areas of the world. We must remember though, that the women in those areas have lived that way for many, many years and they may be so used to it that they do not wish to change. Now, I could be entirely wrong in the assumption, but I think we just have to look at it from their perspective to get the correct view. We would see them as prejudiced [and having a hard life], yet they would believe their life to be as perfect as can be. In conclusion, it's all a matter of perspective.

Boys: Alrighty... this might be harder since I'm not of the male gender, but I'll give it a shot. Of course I know that guys also must deal with some physical trials in their lives, and though I do not believe them to be as trying or hard as what girls go through I do think the poor guys deserve some sympathy. As for their social standings I really don't think they have it hard at all. You've always been the dominant figure [I mean, who was created first? :P], and you've always had the power. How much easier could it get? However, I think I'm overlooking a few things. First off, I think guys are always being pressured. Whether it is to look tough, to ask a girl out, or whatever else you men do, you are constantly trying to look cool. Personally, I think you're bringing this pressure upon yourself. Why can't you be more open? This brings me to my second and last point, society says that you guys must act tough, and must stand up and fight or whatever. Your image is what's at stake and sometimes I believe that can be a hard pressure to take too.



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