Well, the last name isn't permanet, and neither is Eli. Talia, however, is.

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<center>“Envy consists in seeing things never in themselves, but only in their relations. If you desire glory, you may envy Napoleon, but Napoleon envied Caesar, Caesar envied Alexander, and Alexander, I daresay, envied Hercules, who never existed.”
at one point, I was alejandrah.

I love the name Eli, *nods* very nice, it fits somehow... and same thing with the last name, its unsual and unicque, people will warm up to it!

lol, I love using the name Gomer

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<center> .nph ftw.
[!~^$=+?]</center>

I like their first names I have a story...can I post it on here? and can you guys give me feeback?

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"Men rise and fall like the winter wheat, but these names will never die. Let them say I lived in the time of Achilles."
"I am the sword in the darkness. I am the watcher on the walls."
Married Finn Jones on March 24th, 2009

certainly! thats the point of the club!! We welcome stories and poems...

Well, actually I just wanted to compliment Itarildë for the poem on the top of the page, but then I browsed through all the posts below as well, and I can see the topic has changed...
Anyway, I really like your poem Itarildë. As Darky says, it flows well. However, I feel it needs some kind of ending... a glint of hope or something universal. Or perhaps more despair... I'm left with a feeling not knowing what to feel... and it's such a shame because the rest is so good!


Talia is really good in my humple opinion. You could use that name in any fantasy and it would fit!

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>>Be the change you wish to see in the world<<



Banner credit: Shadowcat & Nurrantiel Mashiara

Ok, here it is....it's more of a short story but it's still a story and I would like feedback...changes I can make, how to make my stories better etc...


The Oceanic Amulet


Derwynn Whitewing worked in a local merchants shop in a kingdom called Barador. Derwynn had shoulder length blonde hair, blue eyes and he was also very tall. As he forged a double edged sword, he though to himself “This is really boring, I have to get out of here”. As he finished up his work for the night, he wandered back to his uncle’s house as he walked into the door he yelled “Uncle, I’m home!!” but there was no answer “I guess he’s still at his shop” He sat down at a wooden table in the kitchen, soon he heard the sound of a wagon and Derwynn stood up and looked put the window. Derwynn saw his uncle drive up in his wagon and also noticed someone sitting next to him. Whoever it was was dressed in a dark cloak that completely covered his or her face. Derwynn heard the door creak open and ran into the hallway. “Hello Uncle, who’s this?” he said looking wearily at the person “Derwynn this person would like to talk to you, I will leave you now” Derwynn’s uncle replied, who quietly walked up the stairs and as soon Derwynn heard a door close, he said “What do you want?”. The figure lowered their hood and Derwynn saw a girl who was about seventeen years old. She had silvery blonde hair, pale skin and bright blue eyes Derwynn also noticed that she was an elf. “Greetings” the elf said quietly “Hello, who are you?” Derwynn reaching for his dagger “There is no need for that, I am Moonflower, and I am the daughter of King Alwynn and Queen Eärwen” she said tipping her head to one side. Derwynn bowed and said “Forgive me I did not realize you were of the king and queen”. Moonflower looked around quickly and said “Shhh, I don’t want anyone to know” Derwynn looked abashed “Why? Shouldn’t you be proud of being from royal family?” Moonflower shook her head “A Dark elf mage named Zären is after me” Derwynn looked clueless “Why he is after you? What did you do?” Moonflower reached under her cloak and withdrew a necklace. It as shaped like a diamond and aquamarines covered the whole thing. “I took it from him, he’s coming after me now so I’m in hiding” Moonflower put it back into her cloak “What does it do?” Derwynn asked curiously it’s his source of dark magic, as long as he doesn’t have it, he isn’t as powerful as when he does have it” Moonflower replied “Does the necklace have a name?” Derwynn looked at Moonflower and waited for an answer “It is called the Oceanic Amulet” Moonflower nodded “Wow!” Derwynn said in awe “Do you have an extra room I could borrow for the night?” Derwynn led Moonflower upstairs and opened a door that led to a nice room with a cheery fire crackling in the fireplace as Moonflower walked in she smiled at Derwynn and said “Thank you” and closed the door. Derwynn slumped upstairs and got into bed. He soon drifted off and all was dark.

The next morning Derwynn was awoken by Moonflower, Derwynn slowly opened his eyes and looked out the window “It’s still dark out” he said is a drowsy tone of voice. “I need to go now and you are going to come with me” she said pulling him out of his bed “I don’t want to come, I’m supposed to be working at the shop today” Derwynn said staring at her “I’m sorry but you have no choice” she said grabbing her cloak and pulled her hood up. The quietly snuck past his uncles’ room. They slipped out the door into the quiet street, it was raining out and no stars could be seen. Moonflower and Derwynn walked down the muddy road. Every now and then a lighting bolt would fork through the sky. “Where are we going?” Derwynn asked “WE are going to Barkwood Forest” Moonflower answered “How long is it from here?” “Not that far, only two days walk” Moonflower replied. They soon heard the splish-splashing of horse’s hooves in the mud. “Come on, we must hide” Moonflower grabbed Derwynn’s hood and they dove into the nearest bushes “Who’s that?” Derwynn asked curiously “I don’t know yet, I can’t tell if it’s a foe or friend.” The dark figure stopped right where they were hiding “It’s him…” Moonflower said quietly “Him?” Derwynn said confusedly “It’s Zären now Shhh or he’ll hear us” Zären was on top of a large black horse, he was cloaked in robes but you could see his snow white hair under it, his skin was also as white as snow. There were goblins standing next to him. Derwynn looked over at Moonflower, she was trembling. Zären stood there then he made a motion with his hand and his minions moved on. Zären nudged his horse and galloped off into the darkness. “That was a close one” Moonflower whispered she had stopped shaking but she was sweating. “To close” Derwynn replied. They walked out into the road again. The sun was starting to rise. “We’ll be fine now, he only travels by night.” Derwynn sighed “Well I’m glad about that” Moonflower replied “Only one day until we reach Barkwood Forest” The rain had stopped and the sun had come out. At mid day they reached a town. “We’ll have to stay here tonight at the Barkwood Forest Inn” she said pointing at a small inn in the middle of the town. “Come one, let’s go” They went inside the inn. Moonflower and Derwynn went to the front desk. An elderly man came up to them “Yes…?” he looked at them wearily “We would like to stay for the night” Moonflower finally said “Okay, follow me” Moonflower looked at the man as he grabbed two keys of a hook and they then followed him up the stairs “Room 16 and 19” the man said hading them their keys “Thank you” Moonflower said politely but by the time she said it the man was gone “Do you want to go down stairs?” Derwynn asked “Yes, let’s go.” Moonflower and Derwynn sat down at a wooden table near the fire. There were all sorts on folk in the inn; dwarves, elves, wizards, and rangers. “Those people over there have been nothing but staring at us since we have stepped in the door” Derwynn whispered. Moonflower looked out the corner of her eye, back in the corner there were four cloaked figures, she couldn’t see their faces. “What time is it?” Moonflower asked “its half past ten” Derwynn answered “I’m going to bed, see you in the morning” Moonflower said tiredly. At half past eleven, Derwynn trudged upstairs. He sat on his bed and looked out the window. The moon shone bright over the first in the distance, he heard a wolf howl in the distance. Then he fell back onto his bed and let his dreams take him.


The next morning, Moonflower was awoken by the sound of chirping birds, she opened the door quietly and walked down the hall and passed three doors until she reached Derwynn’s room. Moonflower knocked on the door. “Derwynn wake up, we must be moving on” there was no answer “Derwynn!! Wake up” she hissed “Ok, I’m getting up…hold on” he said from inside. She stood outside his room for what seemed like a decade and finally the door opened “It’s not dark” Derwynn said “I know, we don’t need to travel by night anymore” Moonflower replied. They glided silently down the stairs, when they reached the front desk, they looked around the large room was empty, the candles burnt low. Moonflower put three glittering gold coins on the desk then they both walked to the door and Moonflower opened it and walked out into the quiet street. “How long is it until Barkwood, Moonflower?” “Just a couple more miles” Moonflower replied. During late morning, storm clouds moved in and the sky became black, buckets of rain came pouring down, loud claps of thunder of thunder struck the sky and forked lighting split through the sky. Moonflower and Derwynn walked along the muddy road “There it is, Barkwood Forest.” They stood at the entrance of the forest. It was pitch black inside and the rain didn’t make, it much better, strange sounds were coming from inside. “Well, let’s go in…I hope you’re armed” Moonflower said nervously. When they entered the forest, they could see the sky anymore and was damp and cold. It was completely silent but the sound of breaking twigs split the silence. Moonflower whipped around “Who’s there?” she said looking around in the darkness “Hello?” No answer “I guess no one is there” Derwynn replied. Then out of no where two people grabbed Moonflower and Derwynn and threw them on the ground. It’s those people that were watching us at the inn” Moonflower said surprised “Really?” “Yes, it’s those people that were in the corner in those cloaks.” The two cloaked people pulled their hoods down. One of them was a ranger and the other an archer. “Who…who are you?” Derwynn replied “I am a Barkwood Forest ranger, my name is Greentree” he said “Nice to meet you” Moonflower said; she was unsure if these two men were trust worthy. The other person stepped in front “Greeting my name is Boroin” he said smiling slightly “Wait, weren’t you four at the inn?” Derwynn inquired “Yes, we were” the archer answered. “Where are the other two?” “What’s going on?” Moonflower questioned “You will find out soon enough” the ranger said. Later on, two other people walked into the clearing, one was an elderly man with a white beard and a staff and the other was a tall woman that was very slender. “Who are you two?” Moonflower said looking at them “My name is Glandur and I am a wizard” the man said they then turned to the woman “Hello, my name is Raina, I am an elf Moonflower looked shocked “Together we are the Barkwood Forest Clan” Greentree answered “We go about the forest helping weary travelers and when ever we get the chance try to kill Zären…. now what are you two up to?” “I am hiding, my name is Moonflower and this is Derwynn” Greentree gasped “Princess Moonflower? Why are you in hiding?” he said. Moonflower reached into her cloak and pulled out the amulet, they all gasped “Is that the Oceanic Amulet?” Glandur said in amazement. “Yes, it is. I took it from Zären, see it’s his magic source as long…” her words were cut off by Greentree “Yes…yes, we know the story may I see it?” Moonflower put it into Greentree’s hand. The ranger took it from her “I have heard of this amulet but never seen it” Greentree said “May I see it?” Raina asked. Greentree gave it to the elf “Are those aquamarines?” she said “Yes, they are” Moonflower answered “Why, it’s one of the most exquisite amulets I’ve ever seen” Raina gave it back to Moonflower and she tie it around her neck. “I don’t now what to do with it” she said shrugging “The amulet was made in the icy waters of the Frozen Sea” Glandur said “It needs to go there and be destroyed.” “Where is the Frozen Sea?” Derwynn asked the wizard “its north of Zären’s lair” “We to go through Barkwood Forest and pass his lair? How are we going to do that?” Moonflower inquired “There are guards at every entrance” “We’ll get past them” Raina said. A growling noise came from behind them. A werewolf jumped out of the forest and into the center of their circle. “Stand back, both of you!” called out Glandur. The archer took out his bow and started shooting when the arrows hit the werewolf, he didn’t die. Moonflower stepped back but then she tripped over tree root behind her. The werewolf jumped toward until he was standing right over her. It was so intent on her that he didn’t even look behind him. The ranger took out his sword and stabbed the werewolf in the back and he let out a terrible howl and he fell right on top on Moonflower. She moved the werewolf to the side and moved out from underneath it. “Let’s go, it’s a one day journey to the Frozen Sea” the six set off to the Frozen Sea.

The next morning they were a few miles from the Frozen Sea. When they reached a marsh, Greentree knew they were close “We’re getting close”. He called out. “Why are there skeletons of people in the water?” Derwynn asked a little scared “Some people say there is an ancient beast that dwells in these waters.” Raina gasped “It’s Zären’s castle” On top of a mountain stood a black castle with lava surrounding it. “I hope we get by unnoticed” Raina said. In the distance they saw an icy blue sea with glaciers. “Come on, we’re getting close” the wizard answered pointing to the sea. The group raced across the rough terrain. They reached the edge of the cliff “What do I do?” Moonflower said “What you need to do is just drop it in the water” Greentree said “Really? It sounds too easy” Moonflower said taking off the necklace. Then out of nowhere a goblin jumped on Moonflower “You forgot the part where you die!” the goblin took out his sword and held it to Moonflower’s neck. Greentree pulled out his sword “Get off of her!” he said threatening the goblin “No! Master wants his amulet back so Dûrion must get it!” the goblin then stabbed Moonflower in the chest. Moonflower fell to the ground and didn’t move “No! Moonflower!! How could you!!” Greentree said. Dûrion laughed “Master will be very pleased indeed” Greentree then started to have a sword fight with Dûrion; he went over to Moonflower body and grabbed to amulet but didn’t get far. Greentree cut off his arm and he dropped the amulet. Greentree ran over and got it. Dûrion ran away but he tripped over rock and fell into the marsh. The monster grabbed his as he tried to get out but pulled him into the murky waters. After that was finished they all ran over to Moonflower they saw the wound was dipping blood everywhere “Can you heal her Glandur?” Raina asked him “I think so, let me see” the wizard mumbles some words and the wound was gone but Moonflower did not wake up “Is she…..is she dead?” Raina said “I think…I think so…” Glandur said. “I’m sorry Derwynn” Raina said. They all stood up and walked away then Derwynn felt a tap on his shoulder and he turned around and there was Moonflower standing right behind him “Moonflower!!!! We though you were dead!!” Moonflower smiled “Nope, I’m not dead” Greentree turned around “Let’s get this done with, eh?” Glandur said sounding relived “Now you can drop the amulet” Greentree said in exhaustion. Moonflower dropped it. There was a loud rumble. They looked towards the castle. The castle exploded and lava started to pour down the mountain. Moonflower and Derwynn turned to Greentree, Glandur, Raina, and Boroin. “Thank you for helping us on this journey, it’s been quiet adventure” Moonflower said bowing to them all. “It’s an honor to serve you, May your quest go swiftly and your victories be many and most importantly if you go to slay Zären you have the bravery of a Knight, Farewell Lady Moonflower” The four of them bowed to Moonflower and Derwynn. “Perhaps we shall meet again” Moonflower said as they watched the Barkwood Forest Clan disappear into the woods again. “We have a long journey back” Moonflower said looking at Derwynn “Derwynn, I’m glad your with me, I couldn’t have done it without you and I thank you” she said bowing to him “Gladly, I except” Derwynn said “Let’s go” Derwynn replied and the two walked off into the wilderness.


THE END

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"Men rise and fall like the winter wheat, but these names will never die. Let them say I lived in the time of Achilles."
"I am the sword in the darkness. I am the watcher on the walls."
Married Finn Jones on March 24th, 2009

you're all very good writers!! :D

does anyone here like Terry Pratchett (I thought this is related to writing, tell me if I'm offtopic )? I've read A Hat Full of Sky and I think it was quite weird.. the only good thing about the book was the Nac Mac Feegle (little blue men)

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I revisited AU on Jan 14th after an almost 10-year break! The nostalgia..!

Nope, never heard of any of what you just said.

Anywho, here's the prologue of my book. If I finish this, we're thinking about publishing it with authorhouse.com.

A cold wind blew hard against the mountain side where Rissien Village lay tucked away. This same cold wind rattled the little huts and houses of the village, unsettling the nerves of the small children and the animals. Dust blew up in the dirt streets, forming billowing shapes in the dark. In the barns and stables the horses made a fuss.

Every window’s shutter was drawn in, and every door locked and bolted. What little nightlife there was in Rissien was shut down due to the wild northern storm coming down to the southern mountains. Rissien and the other southern towns, villages, and cities were known to fear the unnatural storms from the north.

Storms that rolled in from the Culdor Sea just south of Rissien and the Ghwed Mountains were normal for the people of Rissien, but northern storms were different from the southern ones. The storms that came from northern Lymdur were purely sinister and unnatural.

Northern storms were the works of the dark wizards living in the bitter cold north. These wizards were evil men, leading evil forces. The storms created by black wizards were drastic signs of horrendous things to come. A black storm meant that something evil was brewing; it meant that a time of war was coming.

It meant that the time of Rangers, dragons, and warriors was returning to Lymdur.


Currently, I've nicknamed the book "Black Storm" lol!

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<center>“Envy consists in seeing things never in themselves, but only in their relations. If you desire glory, you may envy Napoleon, but Napoleon envied Caesar, Caesar envied Alexander, and Alexander, I daresay, envied Hercules, who never existed.”
at one point, I was alejandrah.

wow, thats...*thinks of the word* ominous... very nice. Nice story LoR, i like it!!

Chapter one flows well in Black Storm, though I'm considering changing my nickname because I realized that abriviating it would be quite nasty.

Talia isn't Eli's sister any longer, but has been morphed into a fairy instead.

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<center>“Envy consists in seeing things never in themselves, but only in their relations. If you desire glory, you may envy Napoleon, but Napoleon envied Caesar, Caesar envied Alexander, and Alexander, I daresay, envied Hercules, who never existed.”
at one point, I was alejandrah.

Talia is too strong for a fairy in my opinion, but if thats what you want, thats ok...*shrugs*

Talia isn't exactly a normal fairy, if there is such a thing. I think the name works for the character, but then again, you may be right.

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<center>“Envy consists in seeing things never in themselves, but only in their relations. If you desire glory, you may envy Napoleon, but Napoleon envied Caesar, Caesar envied Alexander, and Alexander, I daresay, envied Hercules, who never existed.”
at one point, I was alejandrah.

just what ever you think is best.

Ok, now im doing the beginning of my second book, and im not even done th first, or it might be the second version of the first book, i so confused as to what to do with it..

Thanks to your help darkie I made the best page so far!! I can't wait to post it! *squee*

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<center>

[font=Times New Roman]
Hello, I'm Amoniel
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Okay I can't possibly know if how I can search through all these threads for tips...but I was wondering if any of the advanced writers would spare some tips for new writers?

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New Account: Khaleesi