What's there to really change? I am use to living in misery. It's bad enough that you grow up more than half of your life being shunned and unwanted. My mom today even said she regrets bringing me into the world because I am such a bitter person that's angry at nearly everything and everyone in this world.

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And as he looked into her eyes
Within the auburn of her hair
The trembling starlight of the skies
He saw there mirrored bright and fair

♥In a poly relationship with Kili and Tauriel♥

I do, i get up at 7 in the morning and go to the gym until 9. Exercise isn't the problem, it's just me not eating afterwords.

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Thank you. I do know people here care. Everyone here is more understanding then people I know IRL. It's why I can only come here when I need advice cause I know here they listen.

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And as he looked into her eyes
Within the auburn of her hair
The trembling starlight of the skies
He saw there mirrored bright and fair

♥In a poly relationship with Kili and Tauriel♥

has any1 here read the book Pitch Black? it's christian based, & it's rlly good. it helped me get thru my depression.....just thot i'd put that out there.....Pitch Black, by Melody Carlson....so yea, there yha go, incase ne1 wants to read it.....depressing at beginning & end, but still.....rlly helped me, so yea. there yha go :]

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"Great art is as irrational as great music. It is mad with its own loveliness."

I got into a huge fight with my sister. I hate this, i am so mad at her, but also mad at myself. Things are going to be different between me and her. I still love her but I am done with how she treats me. :[

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Is there anything we can help you with in this fight by you explaining the situation to us?

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I don't want to write it all out in case she reads it and gets even more mad at me . Basically we were fighting while i was driving, my mom got mad, there was a jumping out of the car incident and now my mom is questioning my driving skills. I was crying last night for like 45 minutes. I am so ticked off and depressed.

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Hmm...I do not think that's for me. Nothing against it or anything, I'm sure it helps but the term 'Christian Based' brings me to believe that it has some religious point. I am not religious so I believe it will not help me nor do I wish for that kind of help.

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And as he looked into her eyes
Within the auburn of her hair
The trembling starlight of the skies
He saw there mirrored bright and fair

♥In a poly relationship with Kili and Tauriel♥

Mrs. Haldir....You dont want anyone's help...yet you can sit and complain how horrible your life is. Look at all around you on this thread. Smeag is giving her advice and you shove it back in her face.

If you wont listen to us, nor accept our sympathies, then why keep posting time after time that your life sucks? You say the same thing over and over in every single post on this thread. But you're just using different words but they all mean the same thing.

I know Im sounding mean. But I dont care. Crying all day doesnt make anything change. I figured that out a few weeks ago. and know what? I learned it from a Japanese Manga. That crying changes nothing, that we gotta be strong and try our best. Even though it was a comic book, it made me realize "What am I doing crying and cutting myself everyday? Its not helping. Im pushing everyone out of my life, when deep down I know they care but I keep saying to myself that they dont." So I quit crying now and started being strong and nice to everyone around me. and it helped. and I know that the manga just didnt help me, but God did too. My friends (all online) have been praying all year for me. God didnt helped me like boom, it took time, and now the time has come and I feel happy, free and pure as I stepped out of the shadows. He helped me, but he made me realize all the mistakes I've been in the past, and he wanted me to figure it out on my own.

I know this means nothing to you whatsoever, but, you gotta be strong. People care for you out there. They do, they do! But you dont see it. You push it away and that makes it worse.

You should try to start over. Be kinder, nicer, read the Bible maybe (not saying you have to) but just...try to be bright and optimistic and everything will work out. I know it will. I know.

I've stopped helping people in your situations a long time ago, because they never listened to me, and it made me upset that they cant see the light. They ask for advice and sympathy, yet, they dont accept it and throw it in your face when they give it to you.

I hope you'll read and understand. So many little things besides God (I know you're not Christian) have helped me through life. Even if it was something like Narnia or a silly Anime like Naruto...it always had words in it that seemed to help and make me stronger. God wants us to figure out things on our own..its a part of life, and each person can find happiness and purity in their own way.

YOU KNOW, HINATA, my dear... I think you have probably forgotten the subject of this club. What, do you expect someone to prance in here and start talking about pansies and butterflies? No... why would you? This is the place for the depressed, is it not?. You started being strong and nice to everyone around you? Hardly. I don't think it's necessary to lecture Mrs. Haldir as though she was your child. You can do that on your own spare time to your own RL victims, for all we care. This is a friendly forum, and it disgusts me to see someone personally attacking someone like you are doing, out in the open and discouraging them. You think she isn't trying to make her life better? You think she WANTS to "complain" about it? Nobody does. 'Kay? You're acting like a bully in a playpen. Move along and play nicely. You disgust me. I think you are aware that your post is really hurtful. And if you want to attack me for this, be my guest... just do it over PM where I can curse at you.

And on-topic... I don't read the Bible (Pagan here) and I'm still pleased with my life. I don't think anyone here should be even talking about god anyway. It's a religious topic and it makes non-Christians want to argue.

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Oh don't you start anything with me, ya hear! You do not know anything about me. I am you just read that one post and is too lazy to look back and see that is not what happened. If I were to shove it back into her face and would have said it and I would have made it bad, really bad. You're just looking to make me bad so I feel beg at people's feet for forgiveness. Trust me, you are not doing that.

I never said I wasn't listening to anyone or accept sympathies. I will not give you my reasons why I have a difficulty with cause it's really none of your business. The rest of what you say is a load of lies.

I really do not care if you're sounding mean. You can be as nasty as you want, I'll just be as nasty back and I am doing just that. I can cry I all want so don't tell me that I can't. What the hell does a book tell you? I cut myself cause I like it, plus it's not me that pushes people out, it's people that push me out. I keep people away cause they only turn your back on you. Trust me, I know what that's like. Have you heard what my own mother had said? No. Being nice don't get you no where, that I all too well. That all goes with people turning their backs on you. Don't give a lecture on how God helps. It doesn't. I do not believe in God. And I don't care about the mistakes I made. I get a good laugh out of them at times.

You do not know that either. I do see it and I just not sure if I believe it.

Oh Eru, not this. Let's not get started on how many times I've tried. I've lost count somewhere. Kinder? No. Nicer? I don't think so. Read the Bible? No. Burn it? Sure. And no you don't know. Just because one thing worked for you doesn't mean it will work for everyone else.

I never even asked you for advice. I do not care. I use to be one of those everyone came to for advice too and I got the same thing you did. Who cares if it hurts.

I hope you'll read and understand. So many little things besides God (I know you're not Christian) have helped me through life. Even if it was something like Narnia or a silly Anime like Naruto...it always had words in it that seemed to help and make me stronger. God wants us to figure out things on our own..its a part of life, and each person can find happiness and purity in their own way.

*Sighs* I have nothing to add to this. I have ran out of things to say. All I have to say is that you've really pissed me off. And I have wasted a lot time just typing all of this.

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And as he looked into her eyes
Within the auburn of her hair
The trembling starlight of the skies
He saw there mirrored bright and fair

♥In a poly relationship with Kili and Tauriel♥

Hinata, you did come over a little strong in your post, but you do make a very good point. If you aren't willing to change, you won't. Although, I would not believe that it is safe to assume that Mrs. Haldir has not tried to change.

Haldir O Lorien, yes the post was a little strong, but there is no reason to attack right back and argue. Bickering is not going to get us anywhere. I thank you for showing me that Hinata did come off a little strong because, personally, I skipped over that myself from just being very confident and passionate myself. About God, I understand your points of view. I have told the way that worked for me, and God was a major part of it. I can't go back and change my past, and neither can anyone else. I see how many people get turned off when they hear God being brought into everything, and they see it religious. That is why I try to limit myself in that.

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Amoniel, I can see that you don't have the best relationship with your sister, and I am very sorry about that. A good family relationship is a great thing to have. Have you ever just turned to your sister and told her that you were sorry or you forgive her?

Mrs. Haldir, you are not the only one who has been shoved around. All through my elementary school years I was the odd one out. Pretty much, I had one friend, but she left me. Later she told me how she wanted to play with me, but I just looked at her like, "then why didn't you?" Pretty much, there was the leader of the class. She decided that she didn't like me, so everyday I would go out to the playground with everyone else playing, and I would be sitting on the swing, alone. She walked up to me one day and told me that she would have invited me to her birthday party, but her mom wouldn't let her invite anymore, which was totally a lie, right to my face. Life stinks sometimes, yes. I know; I've been there all too much. The days you cry in your room wondering if it will get any better than this.

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I don't recall attacking anyone; I just told her to lay it off. But sure. Say what you will
Thanks for being understanding about the religious thing.

*leaves*

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I don't think anyone was attacking Hinata, Haldir was just standing up for a friend. Everyone here would do the same. I would rather stick up for a friend than let her be attacked. :-]

smeag- I've tried talking to her and nothing seems to get through. She makes me feel small and unimportant all the time. It seems like I have to wait on her hand and foot. If she doesn't get her way, she blows up or makes excuses until I do what she wants. It's a pathetic relationship. :[

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I got in from school today from a thunderstorm which I walked home in, and my mum shouted at me so much just for forgetting to take an umbrella. She was going to ban me from the computer, but my sister's friends came round so she couldn't shout at me more in front of them. I get this horrible feeling she actually doesn't like me, she's nasty when it's just me and her but when my dad's around she's lovely.

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<3
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Thanks, Aerlinn. I've tried talking to her and have even gotten my mom involved. But nothing ever works! She has this wall up and it seems sometimes like she hates me. I will be very pleasant to her and she turns and becomes very nasty toward me. I don't get why she does it. My mom says it's because she is just becoming a teenager and that we acted like that...but i don't remember being that nasty toward people! :[

bow_and_arrow- I'm sorry! I am sure your mom doesn't hate you. She's probably mad b/c she is worried about your safety! Could you try talking to her about it?

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