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Post subject: Chuck Norris Facts Posted: October 30th, 2007, 2:35 pm |
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Hey guys does anyone know about Chuck Norris Facts?
Their these really funny jokes that all involve Chuck Norris doing something that well only Chuck Norris Can, it's funny, I'll post a few and maybe you guys can find other ^^
-When the Boogeyman goes to sleep at night. he checks his closet for Chuck Norris
-God created the world, but Chuck Norris created God and when God said "There shall be light" Chuck Norris sais "Say Please"
-There is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals that Chuck Norris allows to live.
-Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill
Well I think that's enough for now, any of you guys got any?
~Alane~
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Post subject: Posted: October 30th, 2007, 5:58 pm |
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Joined: 07 October 2006 Posts: 2474 Location: From the north I have come, need has driven me and I have passed the doors to the path of the M6
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Seen them all, discussed them all with fanactical (and I do mean that) americans from California and Idaho and officially declare Bruce Lee to be awesome  :P:P:P:P:P:P:teehee::yes:
As for one, this is one
Mr T and Chuck Norris enter a bar. The Bar is instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
_________________ "This is the hour of the Shire-folk, when they arise from their quiet fields to shake the towers and counsels of the Great. Who of all the Wise could have foreseen it? Or, if they are wise, why should they expect to know it, until the hour has struck? "
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Post subject: Posted: October 30th, 2007, 6:16 pm |
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Joined: 04 June 2005 Posts: 5471
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Here's one I've heard-
Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. When he pushes, the earth moves.
And, because I'm avoiding homework, I went and looked up more! lol
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins.
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once finished "The Song that Never Ends".
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Post subject: Posted: October 31st, 2007, 1:02 am |
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Joined: 25 December 2005 Posts: 554 Location: California, United States
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Post subject: Posted: October 31st, 2007, 5:04 am |
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Joined: 19 September 2006 Posts: 2126 Location: england
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when bruce banner gets angry, he turns into the hulk. when the hulk gets angry, he turns into chuck norris.
chuck norris does not sleep. he waits.
chuck norris can touch mc hammer
chuck norris sleeps with the light on. this is not because he's afraid of the dark, but becasue the dark is afraid of chuck norris.
two of the guys in my drama group were obsessed with chuck norris jokes, so we once wasted an entire rehearsal listening to them go through every chuck norris joke they knew.
_________________ <center>
**MY BOOK**
~ proud to be a shieldmaiden for christ ~</center>
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Post subject: Posted: November 1st, 2007, 2:56 pm |
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Great great
I think I got a few more....
Guns dont kill people, Chuck Norris kills people
There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, he decides what time it is!
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in three moves
Heh heh funny >>;; And no more homework avoiding Elenya!! I am watching you
~Alane~
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Post subject: Posted: November 1st, 2007, 4:39 pm |
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Joined: 03 June 2005 Posts: 4079 Location: In my dreams Country:
Gender: Female
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Here's a rather awful one I've heard.
Chuck Norris puts the laughter in slaughter.
I've heard others, but that's the only one I remember. 
_________________ 
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Post subject: Posted: November 5th, 2007, 8:25 pm |
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Here are more >>;;
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
Okay that enough for now >>;;
~Alane~
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Post subject: Posted: January 18th, 2008, 5:37 pm |
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Joined: 12 September 2006 Posts: 1459 Location: The mystical forest of the Cumberland Valley Country:
Gender: Female
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lol i've heard a ton but this is the only one i remember:
When chuck norris jumps in a lake, chuck norris doesn't get wet, the lake get's chuck norris.
lol i find this one to be hilariously funny for some reason . . . . 
_________________ "Have i gone mad?"
"Yes, i believe you have. But i'll tell you a secret.... all the best people are."
Hannon Le,everyone for the banners!
Married Khamûl on January the 26th, 2007:bones:
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Post subject: Posted: January 29th, 2008, 5:43 pm |
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Joined: 10 September 2005 Posts: 5839 Location: P3X-774, Rohan, Moya, or my TARDIS
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ONe of my favorites:
Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
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