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 Post subject: Stained Glass Eye. (Rated G)
PostPosted: May 21st, 2007, 3:25 pm 
Warden of the Knight
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Dont' ask where this one came from.. I honestly am not sure. It just came out this way.

A plastic heart and wooden tongue,
Do the damage told.
An illness spread through the young,
Reaching to the old.

A crystal hand, a stained glass eye,
Looking out at me.
Watching as the mortals die,
He "sets their spirits free."

But now the tail that darkness told,
Has now come to an end.
There are none left, young or old,
They all have been done in.

A metal shell, a porcelain heart,
He fought to protect.
But now he's torn his world apart,
He destroyed all he could detect.

He's left with only ghosts that be,
To hear their deathly cry.
Floating in the night to see,
Through his single stained glass eye.

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Last edited by Jax Nova on July 16th, 2007, 8:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: May 21st, 2007, 7:31 pm 
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Wow... that's kinda cool! It seems he toor himself apart... and got replacement stuff... and then he killed everyone else around him, and is now alone... or so it seems... lol!

That's the tale of the man,
With the single stained glass eyes...

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: May 22nd, 2007, 2:53 pm 
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lol yeah... like I said a bit stange. Thsoe come and go every now and then so I just write them down. And figure... "Whatever?" *shrugs* lol Thanks for the comment.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: June 9th, 2007, 6:42 pm 
Elf
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That's amazing. Might I suggest though:

None are left, whether young or old,
They all have been done in.

Nothing very different, just changed-around words. But yeah, it's awesome!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: June 11th, 2007, 4:13 pm 
Warden of the Knight
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Thanks, and glad you liked it. :)

As always suggestions are always appreciated. But really it doesn't fit in my mind... lol it's not a bad way to word it and infact Ilike the wording better. But the flow doesn't seem to fit in my mind really well. *shrugs*

But thanks for the suggestion anways I always like to ehar them! :)

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: July 16th, 2007, 12:16 am 
Elf
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How about this?

There are none left, young or old
They all have been done in.

I just changed one word. But it's fine if you don't like it. I mean, it's great the way it is! :bye:

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: July 16th, 2007, 8:41 pm 
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yeah, that deos fit better. :) thanks. I will edit it.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: July 16th, 2007, 10:03 pm 
Elf
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Cool!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: July 28th, 2007, 12:02 pm 
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It's strange... but it's really good!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: August 15th, 2007, 11:03 am 
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Thanks glad you liked it. :)

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: August 15th, 2007, 5:22 pm 
Istari
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I like it. It definately has good imagery. Great job again, Jax. :)

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: August 16th, 2007, 10:28 am 
Warden of the Knight
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Thanks for the comment. :) Glad you liked it. Imagery was one of the things I was kind of going for on this piece.

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