The Ringer Obsession Test

Many thanks to everyone who's contributed, mostly unwittingly, to this test: first off, The Geek Test for the script; secondly, all the forum members who posted on the Obsessed Fans thread (yes, I used that A LOT!); and lastly, all the obsession lists around the web from which I drew some material.

Please note that when you come to a question such as "You've read the LotR trilogy", it implies that you've read it once. However, if for example you've read the trilogy five times, you should check "You've read the LotR trilogy", "More than twice", "More than thrice", AND "4+ times" since all apply. Good luck, and happy testing!

  You've read The Hobbit
            You've read it more than once
  You've read the LotR trilogy
            You've read it more than once
            More than twice
            More than thrice
            4+ times
  You've read The Silmarillion
            You've read it twice or more
  You've read Unfinished Tales
  You've read at least one book in the History of Middle-earth series
            You've read at least two of the books
            At least three
            Four or more
  You've read at least one non-LotR Tolkien book, such as Farmer Giles of Ham
            ^ Read two or more
  You've read LotR-related book(s) by authors other than Tolkien (Atlas of Middle-earth, The Complete Guide to Middle-earth, etc.)
  You've read other fantasy book(s) just because Tolkien didn't write enough for your taste
  You've seen the movies
            You've seen them 2-4 times each
            5-7 times each
            8-10 times each
            10-50 times each
            More than fifty times each
  You can quote from the books word for word
  You can quote from the movies word for word
            Even the Elvish bits
  You know the Ring poem by heart (Three Rings for the Elven-kings...)
  You know the Ring poem in Black Speech
  Your Christmas wish list is filled with LotR items
  You've asked someone if they like LotR before you've asked their name
  You and your friends call each other by LotR-related names
  You sing LotR songs in the shower
  "Figwit" is an everyday word for you
  You named your room Middle-earth
  You swear things in the name of Elbereth
  You are a member of countless LotR websites
  Your dream vacation would be to New Zealand
  Another of your dream vacations would be to England
  You know what the Frodo chicken dance is
            You've learned to do the Frodo chicken dance
  You know what Tig is
            You know lots of rules for Tig
            You'd rather play Tig than Tag
  You own all three movies on DVD/VHS
  You own the extended editions on DVD/VHS
  You know the titles of most of the scenes on the DVDs
  You own at least two of the soundtracks
            You own all three soundtracks
            At least one of the soundtracks is a limited edition
  You listen to Enya just because she sang on the FotR soundtrack
  You read celebrity magazines just because there might be something about an LotR actor in them
  You have a sign on your bedroom that says "Speak Friend and Enter"
  You commonly fall into talking like Gollum (yessss preciousss)
  You've learned archery or fencing so you can feel more Middle-earthian
  You compare every movie you see to LotR
  You own Elf ears
            You wear them around the house
            You wear them in public
  You've named a pet after a LotR character
  Your screen name has something to do with LotR
  You have a LotR wallpaper on your desktop
  You mutter Elvish insults at people you don't like
            You say the Elvish insults out loud
  You've made a LotR costume
            Made two or more costumes
  You've worn your costume to one of the movie premieres
            You've worn your costume to showings other than the movie premiere
  You tried to bring a weapon like a sword or bow to complement your costume
            You argued with the security guard who wouldn't let you bring it inside the theater
  You've been to at least one of the midnight movie premieres
            Been to two
            Been to all three!
            You waited in line for 3+ hours to make sure you got good seats
  You started to check ticket sellers like Fandango months before the movies came out to make sure the tickets didn't sell out
  You went to Trilogy Tuesday
  You have a mental list of all the cut scenes in the movies that regular fans will probably never get a chance to see
            You plan on sending a letter to Peter Jackson concerning this
  You practice your Gollum accent in your spare time
  You own at least one of the replicas of the weapons from the trilogy
  You've written to the cast or crew members of LotR
            Written twice or more
  You own a replica of the One Ring (what do you mean, a "replica"?!? It's the real thing! My precioussss...)
  You watch totally un-LotR-related movies just because they have LotR actors/actresses in them
  You watch movies that have obscure LotR connections (Orlando Bloom is in LotR, he's in Pirates of the Caribbean, Johnny Depp's in PotC, Johnny D's in Secret Window, therefore you watch Secret Window)
  You watch TV shows that have LotR actors in them (like "Lost")
  You root for the bad guys in movies if they're played by LotR actors/actresses
  You've had dreams about LotR
  You truly believe that Middle-earth does/did exist
  You write LotR fan fiction
            You write non-Mary-Sue fan fiction
  You stretch and pinch your ears in hope of making them pointy
  You practice walking on snow to emulate Legolas
            You refuse to wear boots in snowy weather because they'll make you sink
  Whenever you see a LotR poster, you spend a long time ogling it
  You've tried to braid your hair so it looks Elvish
  You can name all of the movies' actors and which characters they played
  You've read your copies of the LotR books so many times that they're falling apart
  Your calendar is/was marked with LotR-related dates, like March 25th, December 14th, December 17th, etc.
  Before the movies came out, you made a countdown chart so you could cross off the days until the release
  You've made an LotR web site
            You've made more than one
  You see words like "token" or "habit" and see "Tolkien" and "hobbit"
  You know what your name translates to in Elvish
            You know what your name translates to in Elvish WITHOUT using a random name generator
            You translated your name yourself
  You can play LotR songs on a musical instrument
  You own non-costume LotR clothes which you wear as often as possible
  Almost all of your bookmarked sites are LotR-related
            You check them all out almost daily
  You own one or more LotR posters
            You can barely see the walls of your room, you have so many LotR posters/photos/clippings
  You watched the Academy Awards at least once to see if LotR would win anything
            You watched them twice
            You watched them all three times
  You screamed out loud each time RotK won an Oscar
  You scream out loud whenever a LotR trailer comes on TV or a LotR preview comes on at the movie theater
  You sign e-mails with your LotR name more often than you sign them with your real name
  You own LotR action figures
  You can write in Tengwar
            You can write in Tengwar without having to check your notes
            You've tried to translate the Tengwar on the title pages of LotR
  You've made up tunes to all the songs Tolkien wrote in LotR
  You greet people with phrases such as "Mae govannen"
  You bid farewell to people with phrases such as "Namárië"
  Movies such as A Beautiful Mind and Chicago have earned your eternal scorn because they stole Academy Awards from LotR
  You see words like "celebrity" and start to pronounce them "kelebrity"
  You see words like "earth" and automatically think an accent belongs over the e (like "ëarth")
  You've tried to make lembas
  You've sketched maps of Middle-earth
  Your acquaintances think you're weird because you like LotR so much
   Your friends think you're weird because you like LotR so much
            Your family thinks you're very weird indeed for liking it so much
  You think that the name "Elijah" becoming more popular must be directly tied to Elijah Wood
  When reading about Henry VIII, you see the name "Catherine of Aragon" and shake your head because obviously the editor forgot to add an R
  You walk around barefoot to look more like a hobbit
  You've planned your wedding to one of the LotR actors/actresses down to every miniscule detail
  You've added all the LotR names to Microsoft Word's dictionary so it won't tell you you've misspelled them
  You use abbreviations like FotR, TTT, and RotK in everyday conversation and are surprised when people don't know what they stand for
  You know who PJ is
  You look in the phone book to see if you can find people with names like E. Wood or D. Monaghan.
  You use/have used the word "mellon" for a password online
  You keep all your ticket stubs from when you've seen LotR at the theater
  You bought the movies on DVD/VHS the day they came out
  You've memorized all the birthdays of the LotR cast
            You celebrate them all
  You go nuts if anyone confuses Sauron with Saruman
  You still haven't quite recovered from the way Faramir acted in TTT the movie
  You sometimes glance at pictures in magazines/newspapers and have to do a double-take because you thought you saw a LotR picture
  You've considered writing to Google to tell them that if you can search for things in Hacker, Pig Latin, Elmer Fudd, Klingon, and Bork bork bork, you should be able to search for things in Elvish
  You ask people to ignore you when you're wearing your One Ring replica so you can pretend you're invisible
  You practice your British or Scottish accent so you can sound more Middle-earthian
  You buy blue contacts to look more Elvish
  You've been to LotR-related conventions like Comic Con
  You can't stand when people talk about Elves as tiny, winged, pixie-like creatures
  You take lines from the books/movies and twist them to suit your own purposes (like saying about your high school "Very nassty place. Full of...airheads.").
  You've memorized the songs the hobbits sing in the movies
  Whenever you say "yes", you always tack on "preciousss"
  You speak Sindarin fluently
  You speak Quenya fluently
  You know the origins of and differences between Sindarin and Quenya
  You know the difference between Elvish and Grelvish
  You've learned another Tolkien language, such as Dwarvish, Adûnaic, Black Speech, or Rohirric
            You've learned more than one of the above languages
  You know what the pants game is
            You play it
  You join every LotR-related fanlisting you can find
            You have your own LotR-related fanlisting
  You actually tried to visit
  You want to get tattooed with the Elvish symbol for 9 so you can pretend you're part of the Fellowship
  You use your image software to paste yourself into a LotR setting
  You've played at least one LotR video/computer game
            You've played two or more
  You believe Harry Potter and Co. (plus the fans) are minions of Sauron and should be treated as such
  You spend some of your spare time captioning funny LotR pictures
  You visit over and over again until your favorite actor greets you
  No one wants to play LotR trivial pursuit with you because they know you'll win
   Everyone wants you on their team for LotR trivial pursuit
  You've signed the petition to "let The Hobbit happen"
  You want to start a petition to "let The Silmarillion happen"
  You make up corny LotR jokes like "Why didn't Frodo get married? ...Because he destroyed the Ring"
  You're positive you'd faint if you ever saw one of the LotR actors/actresses in person
  You spend a long time mentally refuting critics' complaints about LotR (Roger Ebert said the plot was silly?!? HOW DARE HE!!!)
  You insist that Sam isn't short for Samuel: it's short for Samwise
  You find you make friends more easily with other Ringers
  You find it hard to make friends with people who aren't Ringers
  You find it nearly impossible to make friends with people who dislike LotR
  Around Halloween, you carve LotR designs into your pumpkin
  You cut out any article about LotR you can find
  You've attempted to make LotR accessories like the Evenstar yourself
  If you see a power line structure that has multiple points, you call it Barad-dûr or Orthanc
  Your friends and family members are sick of your bugging them to read the LotR books
            You're sick of having to ask your friends and family members if they've read the books yet
  You enjoy swamping any online poll that includes LotR-related choices
  You know why "Still not king" and "Aloof, unavailable elf princess" are funny.
  You know why September 22nd is special
            You throw parties on September 22nd
  People who compare Gollum to Jar-Jar Binks or Dobby in your presence should run for their lives
  You have your own personal names for the Ringwraiths and Orcs
  You downloaded the RotK trailer from the official site the day it was released
  Whenever someone starts talking about the LotR actors/actresses, you immediately mentally rattle off about twenty facts about that actor
            You rattle off the facts out loud
  You are/were a member of the official fan club
  You spent hours watching and pausing the fan club credits on the extended editions to see which of the actors were members of the fan club
  You've spent hours drooling over all the LotR merchandise at the Noble Collection's web site
  You have 100+ LotR-related photos on your hard drive
            You have 200+ LotR-related photos
  You sometimes sign your name as the wife of a LotR character/actor (Mrs. Greenleaf, anyone?)
  You purposely spell words like color "colour" even if you're not British, because you want to sound more like Tolkien
  You have a LotR screensaver
  The LotR soundtrack songs have been played more times than any other songs on your playlist
  You download/compose LotR ring-tones for your cell phone
  You've screen-capped your favorite scenes from the movie
  You're convinced J.K. Rowling plagiarized LotR
  You're convinced George Lucas plagiarized LotR
  You're suspicious of the book Eragon because the title sounds too much like Aragorn
  You know what J.R.R. stands for
  You know the names of Tolkien's wife and children
  Whenever you go out for ice cream, you insist you want a whole pint (if it comes in pints, that is)
  You call elephants oliphaunts
  You listen to songs you would never otherwise listen to just because you've seen LotR music videos that use those songs
  You know why words like Nippip and Odorf are special
            You've spent time figuring out words like the ones above
  You know what LotR character you're most like from all the quizzes you've taken
  You've made a LotR personality quiz yourself
  You've made a LotR knowledge quiz yourself
  Most of the people on your IM buddy list have LotR-related screen names.
  You can't stand when people write Aragon, Gimili, Galadrial, Legolos, Aowyn, and the like
  You use examples from Tolkien to justify your political views
  You're annoyed when people with opposing political views use examples from Tolkien to justify their opinions
  You feel superior to all those lowly "Ringers" who really don't know half as much about Tolkien as you do
  You've spent time asking yourself whether "Ringer", "Ring-head", or "Tolkienite" is the best name for a LotR fanatic
  You're amazed that anyone might think you can be "too" obsessed
  You've written an obsession list like this
  You want to score well on this test
  You're sure you'll score well on this test
  You've exaggerated on some questions so you'll get a better score
  You understand why this quiz has 241 questions

Use the codes below to post your results onto your site. Just be sure to replace [YOUR OBSESSION PERCENT GOES HERE] with your obsession percentage.

If you're 0-5% obsessed...

If you're 6-16% obsessed...

If you're 17-27% obsessed...

If you're 28-38% obsessed...

If you're 39-49% obsessed...

If you're 50-60% obsessed...

If you're 61-71% obsessed...

If you're 72-85% obsessed...

If you're 86-99% obsessed...

If you're 100% obsessed...