potr, oh em gee, I loved it!!!! One of the best short pieces I've read in a long time, sounds a lot like the bits and pieces in my writing journal.

I mean, no background, no ending, no beginning... just an exciting bit to get the wheels in your head spinning.

*happy squee*

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"The piano is able to communicate the subtlest universal truths by means of wood, metal and vibrating air."

Thanks so much I might make a version or two of it, one were it gets happier towards the end, but I really like this one because of it's simplicity. Thanks so much for your comments, this is actually the first piece of poetry I've really shared with anyone.

Haha, welcome to my style, love. It really is sooo much fun to write in.



Like my story on the last page I think maybe two people read. Actually, I haven't even really written anything but those three paragraphs... I'll post more soon.

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Be with me always - take any form - drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you!

thanks you guys, i am really glad you like it. it has caused me agony but at the same time happiness, any writer probably knows how i feel.

great job potr, i reread it like 4 times and it gets better each time!! :]

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Hello, I'm Amoniel
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This is the introduction to my fantasy story, which is coming along veeeeeeeeery slowly:

Introduction

The sword whistled as it circled above Ciaran’s head, then swooped down on his opponent. It seemed like hours had passed in the half-an-hour they had been fighting. Caderyn, his opponent, also the king of Stargonia, was stronger than Ciaran imagined for an older man. Of course, Caderyn had trained for many years when he was younger, and Ciaran had never had any training other than what he could teach himself from watching others. He had always been the outcast when he was younger, being different from everyone in various ways, from his extraordinary height and golden yellow eyes to his wittiness and quick tongue.
The sound of steel on steel echoed through the Great Hall. Elsewhere, soldiers lay either slain or wounded, mindless of who they served.
Somewhere in the distance, a horn sounded. Help was coming. Ciaran knew the approaching warriors were not fighting for him, but were the wild barbaric clans of the North, who feared nothing. Ciaran hesitated for a split second, silently debating what to do, then whirled on Caderyn with a new strength. The king stumbled backwards, surprised at this, and fell onto his back. Ciaran towered over him, his the hood of his grimy cloak covering his malicious smile.
“So, then, I have finally gotten what I’ve wanted for so long. At last, I can die in peace.” Ciaran unsheathed a small knife at his waist, but it slipped from his fingers, crashing down to the floor. Caderyn rolled over and grasped it in his hand, pulling back his arm to throw. The knife whistled through the air and found its mark, the center of Ciaran’s heart. Small trickles of blood began oozing out, and Ciaran dropped to his knees.

The barbarians entered the castle.
A strong wind swept through Stargonia, blowing out all candles and covering the sun with the clouds.
The approaching warriors stopped in their tracks.

The sun came out again, and the people of Stargonia set about relighting candles and lamps.
In the castle, the king was nowhere to be found. Where he had been standing, stood no other than Ciaran himself.

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Receiving So Much More.

PM me with prayer requests
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Wow.

I really like it. I like it a lot.

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Be with me always - take any form - drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you!

^Thank you! I'll be posting more once I write more.

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Receiving So Much More.

PM me with prayer requests
www.therebelution.com
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those are great you guys!!

Ha, I just dug this little story out of the archives while I was cleaning out my hardrive... I wrote this a few years ago I believe...


Accepting the dare to enter the haunter house on Halloween night was not the wisest choice I had ever made, but I took a deep breath and pushed open the massive doors. They gave way with a tremendous shriek. Giving a nervous laugh, I stepped inside, scrunching my nose against the smell of rotting wood.
The house was more of a mansion in all of reality. Directly through the doorway was a seemingly endless hallway. As I took a few steps in, the doors slammed behind me (of its own accord mind you). I would have run back to try to open the doors, but I knew, like all good clichés, it would be locked.
So with a shrug, I began to walk down the hall, my sneakers echoing loudly on the old hardwood floors. Every few feet there was a doorway, with tall black doors. I ignored these, and the portraits on the wall, though I knew their eyes followed me as I passed by. The lights were dim, flickering and covered with cobwebs. It was indeed a haunted house, like everyone knows and loves.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, I came to the end of the hallway, which ended in the biggest door, which had almost completely rotted through. The door opened before I even put my hand out to turn the antique brass knob. Grand.
Before I got the chance to step through the door and survey my surroundings, there was a bloodcurdling scream. I whisked around, trying to decide quickly where the scream had come from. After a moment, I decided I didn’t care, and ran back to the front doors, to try to open them, even though they were locked.
To my surprise, they weren’t. I ran through, and then realized this was all a ploy by my friends to expose me for a coward. Resolutely, I turned on my heel and walked with feigned confidence through the doors, shutting them before they could slam behind me again, knowing that wouldn’t help my nerves. I half-jogged back to the large door at the end of the hall.
Changing my mind, I opened another door, which actually led to stairs, which I found a tad strange. I sat on the bottom stair and put my head in my hands. I determined that I would sit there the rest of the night, and wait out my dare. I was no coward. I hoped.

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Be with me always - take any form - drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you!

short but sweet! *applauds*

Haha, very short. I forgot to do the assignment and did it in about ten minutes in the computer lab at school. Good times.

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Be with me always - take any form - drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you!

I like how you drew the reader into the story with your first sentence, and how you never abated on the suspense and left off with a cliffhanger. Nicely written

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Thanks. (this by the way, is not a one word post).

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Be with me always - take any form - drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you!

Wow!! I love that, Tar!!! Do you like writing scary stuff? I do... in fact there is a scary story contest being held on another forum... got any ideas? I'm rather out.

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More ardent C.S. Lewis fan


Ardent J.R.R. Tolkien Fan

The Hit Man Gentlewoman

As man, He fled from the stones; but woe to those from whose stony hearts God has fled.~St. Augustine

Thanks so much Snowbird! In fact, horror stories are my specialty, that was just a little trivial thing. And if you need inspiration, just take your biggest fear and put yourself in that situation.

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Be with me always - take any form - drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you!

I once wrote a horror story, it was about a girl who got lost from her family, who was heading west in a covered wagon, and she follows their tracks to this new cabin, which looks suspiciously uinhabited. Her family's wagon is parked in front of it with the horses still hitched to it. She looks inside to find her parents just killed. Then she goes into the house, where there's a whole bunch of stuff torn up and smashed. I sort of stopped right there.

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<center> .nph ftw.
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