If he talks to you, politely say no and remain friends.

Nothing's more cruel then falsely leading a person on. I know that from experience, and I wansn't doing the leading.

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<center>“Envy consists in seeing things never in themselves, but only in their relations. If you desire glory, you may envy Napoleon, but Napoleon envied Caesar, Caesar envied Alexander, and Alexander, I daresay, envied Hercules, who never existed.”
at one point, I was alejandrah.

Phew... lots of stuff to reply to. Let's see here..

@ Captain Turner: That is a tough situation, especially with your friend involved. I'd say look at the pros and cons. Whats the worst thing that could happen if you went out with him [between your friend and yourself I mean]. Would she stop being friends with you? Or would she play the cold shoulder for a while and get over it?

If it's the first answer then maybe it's for the better. True friends know that nothing can ever come between them and if she hasn't realised that then I see no future for you two as friends. However if it's the second answer I'd keep her around. She did deserve some time to be angry [because she does like him too!] but that didn't get in the way of the two of you still being friends. I guess it all comes down to where her priorities lie.

@ Admiral Norrington: I agree with Capt. Turner on that one. If you don't feel the same way just put him down quietly and politely. He's bound to understand.

@ Gwen: I could totally see you as a counselor Gwen! You're always so helpful and you really know how to help people with there problems.
Well, if your in to that type of stuff [emotions, motivations, etc.] then I definitely think you'll like it.

What separates us from animals is only thinking not feeling. The animals especially pets can love you as long as you show a compassion, giving their food to them. lol Ms. Gamgee, you are so wrong I guess it is because you are lack of experience. Men, we, are born to live without feelings. My dad from the day one when he got married with my mother never showed any course of feeling that he even liked her. My mother thinks and says all the time to me that he had married to her just for an entertainment purpose and having sex. Well, love my dad because he knows how to be cruel. I admire him for that

Sorry back on topic

Hey Admiral, just tell him how you feel him about, so you are friends again or you can say to him in a cruel way. "like I do not like you, so get off my tail" that would work on him.

Turner, well kinda confusing. lemme tell you how it happens here. You simply say you are not interested in and that is all. But then, your friend would retreat into himself then, avoid talking with you. I think the way Larael suggested would be the best solution to your problem. Well if you like breaking men's heart, mine is the best.

Dani Sparrow37, wait for him to get his courage to offer you a date or you both have a common friend, tell him or her that you like him and if he proposes, you would simply go out.

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Will be going to London on March of the 30th

This is the part that makes me wrinkle my nose. A guy can also get between your friendship, even if none of you go out with him! In fact, he probably has [to some degree] because you and your friend are sort of in a squabble, right?

I know it's not my judgement to make, but I'm not so sure this friend is worth keeping. It doesn't sound like she's as concerned about the friendship as she is about going out with this guy. A real friend would look out for the interests of you, too. To me, it just looks like she's trying to keep you away from him.

I'm a tad bit confused, just because I've never used MySpace. So does this guy like both of you? Or just your friend? Or just you?

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^Thanks Gily!
<By Bubble Black

Apparently just me.

I'm starting to feel the same way about said friend.

@Capt. Faramir: Not a heartbreaker here, just a very conscious person who had a broken heart.

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<center>“Envy consists in seeing things never in themselves, but only in their relations. If you desire glory, you may envy Napoleon, but Napoleon envied Caesar, Caesar envied Alexander, and Alexander, I daresay, envied Hercules, who never existed.”
at one point, I was alejandrah.

The way I understood it was that said guy just like Capt. Turner, but both Capt. Turner and her friend like said guy. If that makes any sense at all..

@ Captain Faramir: A very good point concerning the differences between what makes us human and not. You're completely right about the fact that animals can feel emotion. Yet, I don't think it's the same kind of emotion humans feel. I believe animals have raw emotion only, or rather what their instincts tell them to feal, whilst humans have much greater depth.

Love is a great example when talking about such a thing. An animal [say.. your pet for example], if you treat it lovingly and you care for it, will love you back. They'll want to be around you, and they'll want your attention. However as humans we can go so much farther than that. Knowing you love someone is a lot different than feeling it in the very depths of your soul.

As for your parents' marriage that's there own decision. Personally, I view marriage as something that happens when both people do know they love eachother not only in their minds but in their hearts and souls [as I said before], and that they are willing to make room for the other in their lives.

Nice to see that you are a concious person, Turner. Well that is a personality not everyone care about. I hope you soon solve that problem of yours.

Larael, hmm I have no idea because I have not had a pet before, my aunt had one. I remembered she cried a lot when her cat died. Lol I did not even care whether it lives or not. It is explicitly something different.

As for humans, love is something I do not know is kinda complicated. It is to me, missing I mean not seeing all the flaws in people's life. Seeing all bad things as it is good. So it feels like love is something fake to me, more like feeling pity for the person you are with.

As for my parents, they shared like 25 years together with arguing, shouting, screaming at each other. So I am not sorry for the life that they have spent so rashly. I do not know if all the people that marries love each other. I sometimes question myself, my environment. And taking negative signs as a result. So marriage is not worth it simply for me.

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Will be going to London on March of the 30th

This makes it tricky, all the same. I'm guessing that you're about my age [mid teens?], and so at this point, I value friendship over boyfriends. I think it's more important, at such a young stage in life, to have steadfast friends first, and then a boyfriend second.

But at the same time, you don't want a friend who is dragging you down, rather than building you up. So don't look at as, "Who need that friend? I've got my guy," because friends are so important.

So I guess my advice to you would be to focus more on your friendship [which seems to be having some problems], and worrying about the guy later. I'm not sure how to take that into practice...I'm trying to think here. That's just a hard situation. Okay, I would try and work things out with your friend, first -- talk to her, and see if you can save your friendship, do all that you can. But if she isn't showing any sign of letting up or wanting to make efforts to help your friendship, I would end it. It sounds so harsh, but I think this is more of a friendship issue than a guy issue.

You don't have to agree with me -- I have pretty specific firm beliefs, but I think this is the direction I would try and go in, if it were me. I hope it works out!


Faramir, I'm so sorry that the marriage you have witnessed has not been a good one. I'm not insulting your parents, but you're right, not all marriages turn out well. I know at least 5 families who have experienced divorce, and it hurts so much, I can tell. I'm not trying to diminish how much it has affected you. But not all marriages are broken. Even though you have experienced a sour one, not all are like that [though they do have their sour times]. I'm sorry that it's led you to question yourself, and even, as I interpreted it, not trust yourself. And I don't blame you, I know I don't want to end up in a marriage where I'm yelling at my spouse for 25 years. It's good that you don't want that, but I think everyone is capable of loving someone unselfishly. Not perfectly, but unselfishly and honestly.

Well, I'm not really sure what I'm trying here -- I just sort of jumped in on your guys's conversation.

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^Thanks Gily!
<By Bubble Black

Thanks for the advice people. I ended up seeing him at another party last night, and I almost died when I noticed him there. I've been really stressed out about the whole thing (I've lost 2.5 pounds in the last 72 hours) so I was suprised at how easily it went. I simply asked him if he liked me, even though I already knew the answer, and told him it was okay, and that I still wanted to be friends if we could. The only thing that's really bothering me abut it is that I'm all that sure how I feel about him. I don't really want to get into a relationship, but at the same time I think I almost do. So I guess all I can do is sit around waiting to se what it develops into.

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<center> .nph ftw.
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^Aww I'm glad everything went well Admiral! [But you lost 2.5 lbs! ] If everything is still okay between you and said boy then I think it's safe to wait and see what happens between you two before you make any kind of move. I mean, you just turned him down and now your not sure if its the right thing. He may have truly moved on. But just wait, maybe you'll find that you both thought you'd moved on but really hadn't.

@ Capt. Faramir: Well the back story makes all the difference! I'm sorry you had to see a sour marriage like that. It must be especially hard since it's your parents. But as Gwen said, not all marriages are like that. [They are most certainly common, but they don't all turn out badly.] Matter o' fact, my parents have been married 25 or so years as well and they've had their quarrels and fights [at one point I thought they were going to marital counseling!] but things have always worked out for the better.
I'm not trying to change your mind about marriage. I'm just trying to offer some new insight on it. It's not all bad. Unrequited love is not something everyone gets to experience, but I hope it finds you one day, just so you know the feeling for yourself.

I didn't mean it in a turning-down way, I was afraid that he'd want to stop hanging out with me, period. I could tell he was pretty nervous, if not scared, because he thought I'd turn him down. Like I said, I'm not quite sure how I feel about the whole thing just yet.

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<center> .nph ftw.
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Ooh, so you haven't exactly turned him down just yet? He still likes you then, and your just a bit unsure of your own feelings? That makes more sense.

That's precisely how things are at the moment. At least, I think he still likes me. I'll have to talk to my friend and get the low-down on how said boy took it.

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<center> .nph ftw.
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Aww I hope he still does. I think it'd make things a million times simpler.

hullo, i havent been here in months....i'd like to just jump in?



er, i rather disagree with you faramir, love to me is actually seeing all the flaws, and virtues of the person, but feeling an overwhelming feeling of affection towards the person nevertheless, so how can that be fake? it is more like seeing a person as the person is (for me that also discards pity, pity is something i rather loathe when it is directed towards someone one says "love" to) now, of course everyone must have a rather different definition towards love, but for it to be fake and pityful i wouldnt really consider it love.

and admiral norrington, wow...i know how you feel, i mean i've turned down guys before..and a couple of them have actually broken down before me it was a horrible experience for me but i went on because i told myself i couldnt just accept them out of pity...but i dont think i know your situation too well...do you like this boy?

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resistance is futile...
avvie by mrs.gamgee photoshop genious!

He's a very good friend of mine. I think I'm treading the border between liking him as a friend and liking him as something more.

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<center> .nph ftw.
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